Pretty vs Ugly

Rich vs poor

Basically, haves vs have nots. Not in the typical way, but a question about the two.

Who's really more insecure, do you think?

I'm pretty tempted to say the haves are far more insecure. Why wouldn't they be? They've got more to lose than the have nots, right?

 

probably.

 

The haves of insecurity probably have more insecurity than the not haves, but I could be wrong

 

dont know. I guess Ive always been a have. Even when I was living out of my car, when shit got bad (aka abusive crazy boyfriend) I was flown across the country first class. Werid right. But Im not insecure.

 

I mean, I have my insecurities, but thats human. Im just not perpetually insecure. Im mostly comfortable.

 

The value a person gives themselves on most of those kinds of things, are often dramatically different from the general percptions you might have of them.

I've met a lot of fucking morons who talk about things they have no idea about. I mean a lot. I've dated an insanely cool model who thought of herself as average. And I have rich friends who are worried about money all the time, and broke people who aren't even worried about it.

 

on an individual level, there's plenty of insecurity in both groups i'm sure. on a group level, i suspect rich people are more insecure because of the reason listed (more to lose).



that's on the rich vs. poor question... as far as pretty vs. ugly, i'm not as sure there's a significant difference

 

its hard to say. i dont think anyone is better than anyone else, no matter how much money they have.

but yeah i agree that when you have nothing you have nothing to lose. once you have been through something that you never thought you could get through, nothing else seems as scary. as ive said what doesnt kill you makes you stronger

of course beautiful and rich people are lucky in some ways. but i wouldnt trade my life for the world. certain beautiful and rich people will NEVER see the real world. i know this because ive been to LA. they dont know that theres more to the world besides their little coccoon in which they feel so priveledged

 

You talking physically or all around?

Iimu - What brings you to think that one set of haves is generally more insecure than have nots, while a second set of haves does not differ much, in that area?

Wouldn't the same concepts flow through and through?

 

I'm a have-not, and its been a learning curve for me, was shockingly insecure at 13/14, now happy and comfortable in my own skin.

 

So what you are saying is that it's too random to generalize it by group?

 

theres pretty secure people and ugly secure people. Which kind of ruins this whole thread.


ive felt both pretty and ugly and always felt insecure with both

 

everyone's going to falsely attribute things to themselves. in the end, I think it is difficult to classify people as one way or the other, as the haves probably don't consider themselves as fortunate and well-off as the not-haves think of them.

it all comes down to each individual, I think. personality and confidence. if you are happy with yourself, regardless of which category others might put you in, you are one of the haves.

 

Also, as a sidenote I should mention:

I have a strong attraction to the dark, oddities of life that you dont see when you grow up how I grew up. And I always will. The seedy motels, dingy pubs, scarred characters, and dirty sexuality. I grew up VERY sheltered, VERY lucky and VERY loved. Im very happy with my life, but I have this attraction to other things.

 

One is the greater in one respect and one is the lesser. With regards to other respects, you can't tell without referring to individuals.

 

But of course, the have-nots will always be tempted to try to ascribe other negative attributes to those opposite of them on the have spectrum.

 

I'm not sure how to weigh in on this thread MAK, both types has it's advantages and dissadvantages. i grew up poor till about my teens when i went to live with my dad and stepmom we were still POOR but somehow managed to always have food and the things we needed. Even the things we wanted sometimes, so maybe it's more attributed to how you were raised.

 

well it's easier and more common to lose money than good looks... and it's especially on people's minds with all the shit you hear about the bad economy right now.

plus, while money makes life easier in many ways, appearance is more important socially. people can make friends pretty much equally easily whether they have money or not, but looking good is helpful in pretty much all social interactions, while being ugly, you will take a lot of shit no matter what. this is partly because prettiness is visible to the naked eye, while money commonly isn't.

plus, there's the somewhat psychoanalytic approach of looking back to the childhood. ugly kids get made fun of hardcore, and it's hard to grow out of that insecurity, which pretty kids never have to deal with. on the other hand, both rich and poor kids are picked on relatively equally, so the ugly people already start out with a disadvantage that poor people don't so much have

 

Perhaps not. I'm mentioning that the value someone gives themself is very often dramatically different from the value that we might assign them.

So who's more insecure? Well the ones who lower their values. I've often noticed that even when someone feels confident in one area, like a woman about her looks, they'll often compensate by not paying much attention to their other attributes. Not that an attractive woman won't be smart, just that they'll often demean themselves in that respect.

Who's more insecure? I'd say most people.

 

Hey, you're a pretty girl. I was just thinking that yesterday when you posted.

And I'm not just telling you that. Trust me. I'm a very shallow man.