Pregnant dating?

I'm 15 weeks pregnant, I'm 22 years old(well i will be next month) and I'm not with the father of this baby because I don't see him being a good parent, he turned out to be very immature and has a drinking problem.

Now, I would like to start dating, but it's kind of hard to date when your body is looking different than it used to, I was always an attractive woman, slender, tall, blue eyes curly hair... My hair got chopped off last summer for a hair show and I've been trying to grow it out with not much luck but I straighten it now because it's at a length where it looks bad curly

but besides my looks... there aren't many men that are going to want to date a pregnant woman and this disappoints me. First of all, I don't even know where to look to meet guys and I also don't like dating websites because most of the guys there are creeps or are looking for a quick fling...

My libido is ridiculous since I've been pregnant and I've got nobody, it makes me feel so lonely.
and i know it's kind of a foolish concern but with no sexual activity at all, i can't help but wonder is that going to make it harder to get this little one out through me? (i know, foolish, but it's kind of true...)

does anyone have any advice or any experience in this field?

 

You can find guys at the bar

lol

 

yeah totally, because that's where I spend my nights and weekends
not...
besides even if i wasn't pregnant... meeting people at bars is always bad news

 

'Always bad news' great negative attitude to everything you wrote.
Why don't you get the father to man up rather than wanting sex from another?

 

I have a hard time dating because most usually the women want to have sex on the second or third dates, if not the first. I'm not into banging chicks unless we have a decent relationship. I have always had this idea that it takes two to make'em, and it should be the same two to raise'em.

 

Harsh internet forum honesty. God, I love it.

 

I would so be into dating a pregnant chick, I would take real good care of you

 

yeah, probably shouldn't have gotten pregnant with a deadbeat, eh?

you refuse to meet people at bars or dating sites. where did you meet this winner? go back there and find someone else.

 

I don't think you should date when you're pregant.

If I was out and a pregnant girl approached me I'd have to wonder what the fuck is wrong with her. It makes me ask questions Is she some kind of super slut? Is she crazy? Does she have some insane dependancy issues? Where's the fucking dad? Is this bitch serious?

Huuuuge red flag there IMO

 

Probably scares the fuck out of most guys.

 

"Is this girl really trying to last minute shop for a baby daddy?"

I got more.

 

No judgment here, but I think dating should be the least of your concerns while pregnant. You have so much other shit to worry about, and you're only 15 weeks, it's just going to get more complicated the further along you get. Now is the time to concentrate on you and your unborn child. Wait til you're accustomed to having a baby in your life, then worry about a guy.

My suggestion is to waddle on down to a nice little adult novelty store and get yourself a power tool. Use it. A lot.

 

Seeing a pregnant woman,most guys would assume you're with someone. Maybe you should use an "instrument" for pleasure and wait until the baby is born to get out and about. (what SB said)

 

sorry, maybe I worded my initial post wrong, I always hate to go into details because if i write too much people never reply if they have too much to read.

I'm not looking to date just for sex... that's disgusting, pregnant or not... I don't plan on having sex with someone I'm interested in (or not interested in, but if I'm not interested there won't be a second date) on the first, second, third date etc...

I'm not a huge slut, never have been, never will be... I met the father of my baby while I was going to art school about 9 hours away from home in the city (no, you can't study art in the city here... something that plagues my mind because it makes no sense) and in the town that this school is in, the people are mostly, forgive my being judgemental because I usually am not... but they're hicks... so close minded and set in their ways... there was only one guy out there that appealed to me and this was my baby's father, I fell head over heals for him because he had all the qualities I had been missing in past boyfirnds, he was artistic, and appreciated art, he was a free spirit and loves nature, and so on and so forth... and then, being so head over heals... i got careless and got pregnant, VERY soon after we started dating and things got serious(ie.we started sleeping together) we got along great and loved each others company but once i got pregnant things changed... and mostly for me... I realized that the reasons I loved him had totally blinded me from realizing his bad points early on, AND when you first start dating someone you don't get to see their bad side yet anyway because at first, they hide it...

ANYWAY... after telling him i was pregnant and still being stuck so far from home, he was very little support for me and he takes being a "free spirit" a little too far because he takes NOTHING seriously! when i would ask him what are we going to do, he'd say nothing, we don't need to do anything, it doesn't change anything, we just keep living like we're living... coming from a guy who lives in his grandmother's house and KNEW i was from the city and was living in residence(not the most sanitary of places)
I couldn't even be happy about the baby even though I've always wanted children.

it got worse and worse and he started treating me less and less like he gave a shit about me and started letting his demons show, and a mutual friend of ours (who turned out to be a wonderful friend to me in the long run) had told me he drank a lot... and I got to see this for myself very soon... I tried to work it out with him for a month before leaving and coming home... the night before i left i was at this good friend's house staying there the night befroe leaving the next day and He comes to my friend's apartment to i guess try and convince me to stay... however he was drunk, just like the last 2 times i saw him, and one miute he was saying he loved me and didn't want me to leave and then the next minute told me he was going to resent me, and all the while saying he wasn't going to be in the child's life (that was actually how he started the conversation...

NOW that I'm home around the love and support of my friends, I know that I am much better off raising this child without him, he DOES call me every now and then to see "how I'm doing" but never mentions the word baby or anything about it unless I bring it up... I wouldn't call him a deadbeat... he at least TRIES to try, but he doesn't even know how to deal with any of it... He's a kid that doesn't want to grow up, and he told me several times (i think it may have actually been EVERY SINGLE DAY) that he WAS NOT going to grow up and he didn't feel that he has to...

THIS is why i left him, because I've been in love with this baby since the day I realized i was pregnant... before i even took a test i KNEW and your mothering instinct kicks in. I was raised by an alcoholic and i watched what my mother went through as well as me and my sister (his biological daughter, he was my stepdad) they were married for 15 years and I hate that man with a passion... I DO NOT want that for my child or myself...

me leaving my baby's father and deciding to be a good mom and take it into my own hands to make sure my child has the best life possible is ME being a GOOD MOM... that's all there is to that...

so aside from getting "knocked up" by some "deadbeat" and going back where i found him to find another goes... that DOESN'T REALLY WORK FOR ME.... thanks...


I'm not "baby daddy shopping" either... I want to meet someone who sees me for the person I am and appreciates having me as their partner, someone who looks past the mistakes i made in getting pregnant while i was away and sees the blessing in disguise just like I do... I realize that chances are I won't find that person until after I've had my baby and gotten my body back to myself and am a really good mom and people can SEE that... but it doesn't hurt to try!
I'm no different than i would be if i wasn't pregnant, I've still got the same wonderful loving personality and someone should be able to see that without staring at the belly and seeing ONLY that...

people think something different when they see a woman with her child and when they see a pregnant woman... and that's the bottom line...

thanks for all the WOUDERFUL suggestions but don't be so quick to judge people you don't know....
I'm not some 16 year old knocked up slut who's looking to talk about fucking on an online forum... I'm a mature adult woman who has CHOSEN to be a single mom because the baby's father turned out to be an unfit parent and i made that RESPONSIBLE decision FOR my baby!

anyone who actually has any suggestions or experience with deciding to be a single mom and dating please feel free to lend some advice...

 

The biological father is a boy. You'll be fine. Do you know the gender yet? I was and am a single dad. I loved it,even tho it was hard sometimes. It was well worth it.

 

I think it's far to say that being pregnant and actually having a child are two very different things. I would wait until you have had your child, because neither you or a future boyfriend will have any idea how hard it may be

it's not just a relationship this guy will be walking in on, but a family. That could be a shock to the system.

Think of it this way, you can imagine a million dollars and wouldn't bat and eyelid, but to see it on a table before you will always bring a little bit of needed perspective.

 

Also, as far as having more to worry about goes....
any pregnant woman will tell you you don't spend every minute of every day, knitting baby booties and thinking about baby 24/7 ... there's not much you CAN do early on... when you're 30-35 weeks you plan and have a baby shower, and after that you get your nursery ready and pack your hospital bag if you plan on going to the hospital...

other than that there's not much you CAN do until the baby comes... I spend a lot of time on classified websites scoping out baby items for cheap and I attend my prenatal yoga classes on tuesday nights... and i DO crochet and I'm currently working on a little blanket
but, the 9 months (10 really) of being pregnant are moreso composed of waiting patiently (or not so patiently) for the next big development... the first kick, which i've felt, and am still feeling movements once in a while and will feel more and more as this belly grows... my next big thing is getting my ultrasound appointment, which i have to wait for, go to, enjoy and then come home and wait some more...

basically you go to your doctors appointments every month, )then two weeks then week) and wait to have the baby.... THEN you've got something better to do...

thank god I've got such good, supportive friends who will visit me at my place when I've got to stay home with my little one I can't wait.

but it WOULD be nice to meet a nice guy who wouldn't be afraid to come visit me and the bambino at home and simply watch tv with me while baby's asleep or help me back some muffins or something... in a partner i always want them to be my FRIEND too...

a partner is just a best friend that you have sex with really... to me anyway. there's love and attraction of a while other level and that's all there is to it...

and any man who took the time to get to know me for who i really am, WILL want to come spend time with me, baby or no baby.

 

I'm also very ready for a child, I've always been the oldest child in my family who helps rear all the younger ones... I know how to raise a child and don't bat an eye at vomit, colossally dirty diapers, spit up, etc.
I'm around babies fairly often and I know what to expect. I even know that when around friends or family and their babies i see the tings i would or would not do differently, I'm a very level headed person, and common sense isn't lacking... I have no doubt I'll be a good mom and it will come naturally.

 

You sound like a well rounded person who has made the best choice a person can make for the unborn.

 

wait...you're worried about giving birth vaginally b/c you aren't having regular sex and that'll make vaginal birth more difficult? seriously...

how bout this...you have no life now. your life is for your child. period. stop thinking about yourself and start working creating a good safe life for your baby.