Pregnant and ?

My almost 16 yr old just found out that she's pregnant.

She is the youngest of my six child.

She lives with me as do her two older sisters and one older brother.

Her mother (my ex) had four abortions from age 16 thru age 22.

I told my daughter that she has several options and that this wasn't the end of living, so what happens now people ?

I've never been a dad with a very young pregnant daughter.......

I need guidance .....the Universe knows I need some guidance....

 

support her in whatever she chooses... let her know you love her no matter what, but let her know what her options are as far as having the child too, like how will you help, etc, same with paying for an abortion. my family was amazing when i got an abortion. i was already out of the house and much older than your daughter, but they still got me food, offered to help with costs, gave rides to and from the clinic, and let me hang out at their house a lot.

 

Just be supportive. Let her know you support her, and will help her however you can. She's 15, with surging coursing hormones and pregnancy changes on top of it! She's probably an emotional wreck and just needs lots of loving gentle support.

When I first announced my pregnancy at 19, I called my mother (2100 miles away) and told her. She immediately started crying, yelling, seemed so upset with me. And the best feeling in the world was when she called right back and let me know she still loved me, was proud of me, and cared about me and the baby.

Just hug her when she needs it, and help however you can.

 

My Mom was 16 when she got pregnant with me a month before I was born her and my Dad got married. She be there for her. She needs you. My Mom still is hurt by the things people said to her when I was little and when she was pregnant with me. Please don't pressure her, you can guide her that she will need. Also talk to her about her options and be open about how you feel but don't ever be hurtful... I don't think my grandparents (I have always been close with my Grandparents) ever really ment to hurt my Mom the way they did. But for me it was hard growing up knowing how everyone felt about my Mom being pregnant with me.

 

Just like everyone else said, just be supportive of whatever she chooses. Not only is your daughter worrying about the fact that she could be a mother this young (provided she decides to keep the baby), but it's hell to worry about what your parents are going to think about everything on top of it. I actually made my morning sickness worse at the thought of telling my mom, and I was 18 and moved out already. Just tell her that you're supportive of whatever she chooses and just be there to talk with her and help her to figure out what would be the best plan without imposing on her. Let her make the decison for herself, and tell her that no matter what she does, she is not a bad person.

 

Inform her.
If you want to be there for her, do it. Don't hang your head in disgust about her or her baby. Don't treat her like crap because of this.
Let her know what it's like to raise a child. Give her advice from YOUR experience. Guide her, don't tell her what to do.
If her baby's daddy decides to be an ass and abandon her, let her know it's ALRIGHT. She doesn't NEED him and it's probably best that he did it because he's too immature for her anyway.
If he sticks around, talk with the both of them. If you want to help them out, let them know what you're willing to do.
If she decides to keep the baby, make sure she takes her vitamins and goes to all of her appointments. Medical cards pay for everything up to 6 weeks post partum, if y'all don't have insurance on her. She can also get one on the baby once it's born.
If she decides to have an abortion, be there for her. Give her the shoulder to cry on that she'll need. I've never had one, but know girls that have. They were really down afterwards. If she decides on that option make sure she knows what she's getting into. She may do it and then regret it forever. She may do it and be perfectly fine.

 

Im much older than her and when my dad found out he didn't talk to me for 3 days. I was devastated. my whole life i've been trying to please my dad, i've always wanted him to be proud of me, and i felt like i completely let him down. thank god he changed his mind and realized it wasnt the end of the world, and he's been there for me completely ever since. I have to agree it was the best feeling in the world when he apologised and told me he still loved me no matter what and would always be there to help however i needed him. so, like everyone else said just be supportive. let her know that its her decision, and make sure shes comfortable with it, bc shes the one who will have to live with it no matter what she chooses.

 

Thank you all for taking time to share your experience and opinions. She is thinking that she wants to have this baby.

Buddha said, "When you realize how perfect your life is you will throw your head back in laughter"

 

OleFlower, I just want to say you seem like an awesome dad, and your daughter is lucky to have you for support! I don't think my father would be near as supportive of me and I'm 21!

 

Thanks Advaya....when i was seven my grandmother told me that my mom was going to have a new baby and that i'd get to help take of him/her.
I was so excited. When my little brother was born I loved him so much.
I didn't even know that we were suppose to have dad's tho as it had always been just grandma and mom and me and our little chichuaaa dog KIKI. LOL
The only thing I ever wanted to be when I was young was a "Dad" and WOW am I a dad.

I am a very enthused father of 6, yes countem, 6 amazing human beings, and grandfather of 3 with ANOTHER one due in about 6 a half months.

Three boys and three girls. The three youngest are living with me.

Life is not boring, eh ? Iam feeling a bit sad right now tho....

ÒNo, life has not disappointed me. On the contrary, I find it truer, more desirable and mysterious every year -- ever since the day when the great liberator came to me: the idea that life could be an experiment of the seeker for knowledge -- and not a duty, not a calamity, not trickery.Ó
Friedrich Nietzsche

Peace&Love to you

 

you seem like an awesome person, just keep doing what you're doing. i would encourage her to make her decision rather quickly about keeping the babe or not. at 2.5 months, the fetus is really developing quickly.

((((hugs)))) to you and your dd

 

make sure that your daughter is well informed about her options. Whatever choice she has made the best thing for you to do is to support her in that decision. If she wants to keep the baby i would suggest that she gets on prenatal vitamins ASAP and to sign up for some lamaze classes and parenting classes or if she feels that she doesnt want to take any class help her do some research on birthing options and pregnancy. just let her know that you are there for her and maybe now would be a good time to go down memory lane with her when she was a baby. good luck and you are a wonderful person and father to support your child

 

i agree with everyone else, you sound like an awesome dad! If only all parents were as supportive as you are!
I was also going to add, and this is a personal point from me, that since she is so young, I am assuming that she is going to want to finish school at some point. Be supportive of her when she does this...or if she is getting a job. My mom will not help one bit with my daughter and my hubby and I are full time college students. There are some nights it would be soooooooo nice to have my mom take her for a couple hours so that I could just get all my work done, but she refuses. It's tough.
ff also pointed out some great things, like definately getting started with prenatal care, getting her vitamins, exercising, birthing classes, breastfeeding classes and all that fun stuff that you get to do when you're pregnant!

 

Your daughter's a lucky girl to have someone in her corner. She'll need it. All the stellar advice from the mamas on here is good stuff; I'll have to file it for if/when I decide to have hatchlings....

Let us know when your new grandbaby arrives so we can share your joy?

 

Definitely let her know that she can do whatever she wants. The sky's the limit!

I'd personally like to thank you for letting her make her own decision. When I was pregnant before, I was bullied into an abortion that I didn't want. I'm pregnant right now and haven't told my mom, because though she said she'd never do that again, I'm almost afraid she will.....so I have chosen not to tell her at this time.

 

Hey thanks for all the encouragement.

How can parents turn on their children over something like becoming pregnant ?

I have six shildren and 3 beautiful grand chi;dren withnumber four on the way.

Life is s smorsgasboard and it's really all Beautiful and Tasty and getting encouragement and support from women like you who can draw from your wells of real experience is so valuable. :bigear:

I love drumminmama

And I will post somepics of the whole tribe sometime soon.

Thanks again everyone of you who took time to read my thoughts and write yours back.

Peace&Love to you all .

Paul

 

She got pregnant too young. ugh Another baby carriage, eh? She's not alone, America is a national baby mill. I'm not even Christian [Agnostic/Satanist], but I do believe in PREGNANCY AFTER MARRIAGE, otherwise the baby would fit the definition of bastard. I'm actually prolife, but really, cmon, 16? What is she thinking? lol.

 

Congrats OleFlowerMan on the new addition to your family! Your daughter is very lucky to hve such and understanding and supportive father, with his head in the right place. And her child is so lucky to have a mother that comes from such good stock, as well as having a grandfather who'll be able to share lots of wisdom and love. That's wonderful.

In my opinion, life is the best class room... If she is unable to finish high school, or she doesn't want to finish, I wouldn't sweat it. "Education" comes in all shapes and forms, and so long as you encourage her to strengthen the skills she was born with, she'll grow to be a fulfilled woman, and a happy mother. She's having a baby, and she needs to focus on raising her child. She'll learn so much in that role anyway! If she is going to work(I happen to think raising a baby is the best career ever!*wink*) and give up time with her child, she should be given support and time to find what she REALLY wants to do... She shouldn't be forced to leave her baby to do something that makes her unhappy, or that she's uncomfortable doing. (I could fill a a whole page with the math that proves that her STAYING WITH HER BABY is much more economical, if she's in a position where she has support.) I have a feeling you will do a great job helping her... You are a great dad!

Crude... As for your disparaging comment, I think it was uncalled for. Yes, sixteen is a tender age to enter motherhood, but with support she is just as capable as anyone to be a great mother. Your beliefs do nothing to change that, and should NOT be foisted on others in such a negative way. Besides, age is a state of mind, not a number... Her bravery in the face of opposition raises her far above "sixteen". Her baby being born out of "wedlock" also makes no difference... It is people who take it upon themselves to label and judge others with their definitions that make such foolish notions exist in the first place. Above all, this young woman's baby is HUMAN, just like all of us, and WORTHY of RESPECT, regardless of when, how or where she/he enters this world.

 

I may be a Socialist, but I do reject your destructive views. If they're not married, then there should be no pregnancy. Marriage doesn't HAVE to be a RELIGIOUS union, you know. A union is to create stability, just ask all the single mom's out there, ask them how guys run away from them, and want nothing to do with them.