Pregnant and not sure how to tell people

So, I found out i'm pregnant about 3 weeks ago and just decided I'm keeping it. So far, the only people who know are my fiance and his parents. I guess i'm about 9 weeks now, from the first day of my last period.

This isn't really good news for most people... my parents are going to be disappointed and ask lots of questions about our plans, questions that i don't have all the answers to right now.

so, I'm stressing... well i've been stressing for 3 weeks, but now i'm just sick to my stomach thinking about telling my parents and talking to my employer about maternity leave, not to mention i'm pretty scared about the situation myself, feeling lonely, and having those first trimester symptoms... etc etc etc

Does anybody have any advice? I thought i'd feel more confident if i had all the answers to those inevitable questions, but i don't... i'm working on it, but this was unplanned and i don't think i'm going to have all the answers any time soon.

 

Awwwwwwww sweetie !! congrats your preggie!! no stressin'


How do you think you were born .. HAHA
go with the flow
just call or tell your parents however or which ever you may decide . But focus on how you feel . i know it may be hard on YOU per se but in the long run its a blessing. They may be standoffish but they will come around.

My sister for example her 1st child was totally unplanned. My mom just FLIPPED right out!! i mean screaming and yelling. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!! for months after my oldest nephew was born she stated to my sister "I am not Grandma, i'm Laurie, i want to make that clear right now" a few months after she came around and was totally delighted to have the baby she now calls her grand son in her presence. Because its another milsetone. Your a child, than a teenager, than a young woman, than you marry and have children and YOU have children. Its a big step for parents!! sometimes it just doesn't work oyut that way. The best to you congrats ansd take care of yourself and the babes!!

<HUGS>
TERI

 

yep, it's dangermoose's.

I took a job in NYC (well brooklyn) in september and it's a small contracting company, only 6 people in the office, and only three girls total in the company, and i commute from nj, so i don't have many friends... and i work very closely with my boss, so i don't know how long it will be until they notice... plus i need to negotiate the maternity leave and all that. i've gotten pretty close with one of the ladies there though. I'm sure i'll be talking to her very soon. She might have advice since she's also the bookkeeper. Danger is looking to move down here in june, but for right now we're separated still.

i'm definintely feeling super stressed and nauseous all the time. i can't believe how much health insurance is...

anyway, thanks teri and drummin

 

Well, you don't have to tell your parents just yet, you have plenty of time and if it's going to add more stress and not be beneficial to you, I would suggest waiting until you feel more comfortable. You also have plenty of time to tell your boss. My advice would be to relax, get a grip on the situation yourself, and get yourself healthier mentally and physically. The healthier you are, the less likely you are to experience intense symptoms. Take up a low stress activity, especially something that makes you feel comfortable in your body... bellydancing, yoga, meditation, some other form of dancing, etc. Join a local mom's group(if you need that kind of support)... but mostly, just keep telling yourself this is normal and nothing to freak out about, because really it is... it's so easy to get caught up in the drama of it all, but it's a normal occurance and it's mostly just societal views that get us all scared, confused, and obsessed with pregnancy and the way it's supposed to be. I highly recommend coming to terms with your first trimester and keeping it sacred for you, it tends to shape the rest of the pregnancy. If you give your awareness to being content in your situation, the easier it will be to fully enjoy it, especially at the end... and really, it should be enjoyed... that is the one thing I wish I could go back and do... enjoy more of my pregnancy, stress out less about it, once you get over every little milestone, you realize it wasn't such a big deal, you didn't really need to be so stressed about it.

My situation was kinda like yours, unplanned, and I was terrified of telling my parents. When they found out, I told them how I felt about it and whatever I was unsure about I kept to myself until I was sure, I had to do a little arguing with them, but mostly, I kept my pregnancy sacred for me and didn't address things with them I wasn't comfortable arguing about. I hid it from the people I was working with and it wasn't that difficult to do, and I think that helps you to define your situation for yourself, because once everyone knows you'll have a ton of attention, questions, opinions, that can distract and scare you unnecessarily... so my advice is to comfort yourself first, then when you're ready address other people. This is your time and it will be your work to give birth, so do what will benefit you in the long run, but live each day at a time, remember you have plenty of time, there is no urgency to figure things out for anyone else... and look into coming out parties/celebrations/ceremonies, it's common in some cultures to keep pregnancy a secret until the middle of the 2nd trimester, I really think it's a great idea and preserves the parent's peace of mind, especially if you have very opinionated parents/family/friends that will add stress to your situation(not on purpose, but just by default). p.s. congrats, babies rock, and pregnancy rocks too, really!

 

on the plus side, you and charles are going to have a baby together and it's going to be the cutest baby ever
you'll get through all the crap dealing with people
and you're going to be an incredible mom

 

thanks guys that was really insightful honeyhannah. I realized this week that i need to relax and get more into the pregnancy. like, be at peace with it i guess. i'm a lot more calm now than i was a few weeks ago... man i couldn't even sleep, could hardly think straight... it's getting better.

 

Yay... I'm glad! Just trust it, it will continue to build on itself.

 

I deny everything!

:toetap:

:leaving:






okay I'll admit it, she let me sleep with her, and by golly I'd do it again.
Its big doings, the whole thing is, but i have confidence it will all work out in the end. And yes, with my beard and elyse's face, it will be the cutest baby ever!

 

i have to agree...

congrats!

 

Maybe you could do like they did in the old days and walk around knitting a small baby hat.

(stupid advice from a male)

but congradulations anyway

 

congrats on the preggers kids, i knew you could do it. you two have been mad about eachother for years, so im a bit surprised it took so long. so whats his/hers name gonna be, dangertiger, or mooselily?

 

how about Lily Moose

aww... really happy for you both and I'm sure everything will be better then you could ever expect

 

(((((((((hugs!!!))))))))) Congratulations!!!

I had a tough time telling people when I first learned I was pregnant too... I'd just had your classic "rebellious teen" elopement, and getting pregnant right away looked awful suspicious to people.

What'd I do? I told people. There wasn't much else to do, really. The baby was gonna come, and I was gonna be a mama. People could deal with that or they couldn't but it wasn't going to change the facts. It took my parents nearly my entire pregnancy to realize that if they wanted to see their first grandchild they were going to have to talk to me, and we still had some "issues" to iron out over the next year or so. But things did iron themselves out.

(((((((((hugs!!!))))))))) Good luck! Been there myself. It isn't easy, but you can handle this.
love,
mom

 

well i've told a couple people now... my friend at work is excited for me, my new friends in brooklyn (one is an old friend of charles') are happy for us... they have a 9 month old... i told my stepdad last night... my mom wasn't home yet but i didn't want to put it off any longer and i told him he could tell her last night so it could sink in a little... they're the type who'll stay up all night worrying about it and then call me the next day anyway, so the big talk will be tonight when i get home. my stepdad just said a low "Whaaat?" it caught him off guard... i'm nervous about talking to them tonight... hopefully they'll say what they want to say and that'll be the end of it instead of saying stuff tonight, then saying more in a couple days... i mean, all negative things.

i finally got on health insurance, and made an appointment today with a primary care provider because that's what the booklet says to do first... but the person i made it with is an allergy specialist and i'm getting mixed responses about whether they're also a PCP or just an allergist.... i think i'm going to try to find a doctor who's a PCP and ob/gyn... should make things easier, though it seems like all the ones i tried are only open from 11-4 M-F or not even. one's open 1-4 tomorrow. this is going to conflict with work and i feel like i need to get to one asap... i was told i shouldn't go until i get the insurance because then it might be considered a pre-existing condition and they won't cover it... which doesn't really make sense to me, but i didn't want to risk it.

*big sigh* stressful times.

 

I told my family all of them... everybody reacted very well and are excited though worried for me. my mom's going to dig up some of her maternity clothes from 7 yrs ago and some books she liked and send them to me. i got an appointment with an internal medicine doctor, but i was reading through the insurance packet and i can have an ob/gyn as my primary care provider so i'm going to go ahead and just go straight to them. My first trimester's almost over and i keep feeling like i'm going to cry about stuff. i keep having weird baby dreams too... last night i dreamt i gave birth to a 9month old and missed all the newborn stuff... hehe

so things are going good.. i miss my mom alot, especially after talking to her last night, so i'll probably be talking to her a lot more often now.

thanks for all the support i'm glad i waited a little while until i was calm and feeling better about it all myself.. i probably could have told them a little sooner, but *shrug*

 

ooOOoooo we even got a pegnancy countdown in your sig
looks like we only have 1 day left in your first trimester :O

 

i know! i'm kinda freaking out... i'm going to really start showing soon and not just looking a little chunky

 

stop stressing, girl! the sooner you tell people, the better.

once your parents get over the initial shock of it, they will be supportive. the baby is coming whether they like it or not, and once they realize they are grandparents i think everything will turn out great

congradulations!

 

ohh i just read that you told them, that is wonderful! im glad they took it well