I just read a book for school, and all the characters could ever talk about was how beautiful pregnancy is and how deep a bond they shared with their children. I must say I found it a little depressing...I mean it seems like even though fathering a child would be incredible, I could never have quite the same connection to my child as I would if I had (somehow) mothered it. I mean sure, being pregnant would be a pain in the ass, and on first glance it seems like I should be glad I don't ever have to go through that, but all the things women go through to give birth to a child seems like it would yield an incredible reward that men can never quite grasp...
I disagree. I may not have birthed my children, but I but I don't feel I have less of a bond than my wife. And I don't think we condition men to not bond in this way anymore, or at least in my circle of people. Again, I don't know what fathers you know, but all of the fathers I know, my own included, think of fatherhood as way more that football and overtime. It seems you have poor examples of fathers to draw your conclusions from.
Personally, I don't think it depends on the gender, I think it depends on the person. Some mothers aren't all that great with kids either, just as some fathers might not be. The whole "maternal instinct" idea is so tired--- I know MANY men that love children, and can interact with them a thousand times better than I ever could... whether I had my own child or not. My dad seems just as "connected" to me as my mother does, and it has never been anything less than that. I can relate to my mother more so because we're both female, but my father is completely and unconditionally there for me no matter what. Some fathers aren't. But some mothers aren't too. It doesn't depend on the sex, it depends on the person...totally.
I agree with the people who said that the quality of a parent depends on what they put into it, but I must say that I am a bit jealous that women get to have such a unique experience of pregnancy and giving birth. I am pretty sure that the rewarding physical feeling of a natural birth isn't fully felt by the father at a woman's side so that is why I would do it if I could, just to know what it feels like to do it myself. This is really a separate idea than acting as a parent.
I can only hope I would/could/will be the best father I can. I want to be a dad someday. I don't care about the sex of the child really. My fiancee wants a daughter. That's ok with me. I grew up around girl cousins from their infancy. I have some experience with girls; naughty, hyperactive, me me me, out of control ones.
I dont think it has to do with what a great parent you are, either mother or father. What he refers is to the actual experience of having life grow inside of you and then seing that being that was once inside as part of the outside world. I'm not a mother but I imagine that from that experience the connection you have with your child IS stronger is just some mothers dont appreciate it, but it doesnt mean is not there.
You don't have any understanding of it becuase you don't have kids. If you do one day you will understand from the second you see them.
I know but i guess we'll never know, not father or mothers, because I'll never know what to be a father feels like and guys will never know what to be a mother feels like, so we can only imagine.
lol...Yes, it amazing having a whole separate person growing in you, but it is also really uncomfortable! I had a stuffed nose during my pregnancies (normal) and felt nauseous much of the time (normal). Sometimes, I just cried for no reason at all, but did just because I felt I had to (hormone surge)! My son would hurt my right side when I walked for any distance. After I had the children, my bottom hurt for six months, which I never understood because both my children were delivered C-section. I had wanted a bigger family, but the idea of being pregnant again...no way! Still, there's nothing like seeing your child's face for the first time...
Growing a baby is the most amazing feeling in the world, and I love every second of it. But, when i see my husband with our son, I feel so very lucky, because the two of them share the most amazing bond I have ever seen. He has often said he wishes he could carry the boys (we have one on the way) for just a littlw while to see what it is like. He is an amazing father and I tell him every day how lucky our boys are to have him as a daddy, because he is just as involved as i am in every aspect of their lives, I just happen to be the one lucky enough to carry them in me for 40 weeks.
noone can answer this question. unless they can go through both life experiences at the same time. feel blessed with the role you play. our roles are equal, but different. this could be comparable to Feud's theory on the cycle women go through called "penis envy" if anyone is familiar with that. maybe men get pregnancy envy
I thinki the people in the bigining were right. It really has nothing to do with the gender. Sure, you will never feel what it's liek to be pregnant as a guy but you care sure as hell build a stronger bond than the mother. I mean a lot of people talk about it like it's impossible for a father to love a child as much as the biological mother but I disagree. There are so many mothers that didn't want to see the child after birth and went on their way and still so many fathers that fight liek dogs to spend every moment for their child. It depends on the person. My best friend was given up by his mum and raised by his dad, perfect example, she couldn't stand knowing that she had a son and she moved and left him in his crib. When his dad came to visit, he found him and he fought so hard against the grand parents to keep Danni, because they were arguing that he wasn't there for danni's mum's pregnancy...he worked two jobs for tht kid and did a lot of things that a lot of people will never have to do. My point being, gender doesnt matter...the bond depends on the person.
