Discussion in 'Poetry' started by tommyboy487, Aug 25, 2005.

  1. tommyboy487

    tommyboy487 Member

    -aug 24


    Who are you?
    One fit for the day,
    Yet alone in the night...
    Inflicting upon it an air of superiority;
    Concealing a grin,
    As it humbly embraces the refuge of your shadow.

    So I'll get a little closer.
    But wait...

    Who are you?
    Erect by the street;
    More motionless than your surroundings.
    And like a venomous snake,
    Intimidating the air to stillness...
    Allowing your exhaled smoke
    A chance to quickly flee,
    And warn the heavens of your presence.

    So I'll break the stillness.
    But wait...

    Who are you?
    A bright round face,
    Boasting plump rouge cheeks...
    Clean to the touch,
    Yet filthy with years of abuse.

    But shit.

    Who are you?
    Rugged skin,
    Choked with unearthly scars.
    A swollen eye,
    Casting as a sun,
    In the theatre of perception;
    Illuminating the agony
    Of an unnatural smile.

    And your flaws,
    Simply add to your perfection...
    Composing a courageous melody,
    In the symphony of beauty;
    In the orchestra of life.

    I must see your story.
    I must live your tale.

    But not now.
    As you step into the bus.
    And until tomorrow comes.
    I must again wait.
  2. iscreamchocolate

    iscreamchocolate Senior Member

    wow!! that was great tommy. :) I liked the structure you chose. and the "who are you's
  3. tommyboy487

    tommyboy487 Member

    whoooo are you who who who wo
  4. Very nice and suspenseful. Keep it up.
  5. tommyboy487

    tommyboy487 Member

    I plan on it.
  6. Lamby

    Lamby la vita รจ bella

    i like it :)

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