Power_13's Official Bad Joke Thread

How on earth do you top that?

 

how on earth does this thread still exist?

 

hahahahaha but it IS an appreciated thread hehe.

 

more..more-i-say

 

less...less i say

 

i-say-i-say-i-say...

what-do-you-call-an-intelligent-blond?







....a-golden-retreiver

 

What's brown and sticky?

A brown sticky thing!

I was stoned once when someone told me that and I laughed for hours!

 

What's the difference between a duck?



One of its legs is both the same.

 

hehehe
no that's the kinda joke i like

 

I-don't-get-it-*blank-blond-look*

 

Sure the answer is "A Stick"

 

Blank moment - The "Dinner Ladies" writer. Duh

 

Two horses were in their stable just before a race.

"You know," said one horse to another, "this is going to be an important race for me. My owner says it could be my last ever race!"
"Really?" The other horse says. "Why's that?"

"I've done really badly." The first horse explained. "Even I can't remember the last time I came in the top five in a race. I'm out of form, and my owner is angry because he's losing money. He's threatening to take me out of the racing game if I don't do well this time. I'm very worried about my future!"

A passing farmer's dog heard this and decided to try to help. "Hey, how're you doing? Look, I don't mean to intrude or anything, but I couldn't help overhearing. My master takes me to many horse races, and I've learnt quite a lot about racing...I think I can help you. I've noticed that all the other horses on the circuit keep their heads down, while you keep your head up while racing. I guess it might be something to do with keeping a slim profile towards the air resistance. I think if you kept your head down and let your jockey worry about your directions, you'd do far better."


The horses looked at each other in surprise, and finally the first horse spoke.

"Well bugger me, look at that! A talking dog!"

 

Vincent Van Gogh walked into his local bar.

"Hey there, Mr Gogh." The bartender said. "Can I get you a drink?"

"No, thanks." Van Gogh replied. "I have one ear."

 

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop

 

What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg.

 

Two goldfish were in their tank. One turns to the other and says, "You man the guns, I'll drive."

 

A guy walks into a bar and says........






.......OUCH!!!

 

What's the difference between a drum and a wank?

You can beat a drum.

 

If money doesn't grow on trees, why does a bank have branches?