Possible Earwigs

How do you know if you have them? In your ears? Cause I think I might.

 

they play bongos.

 

:H Well they're certainly doing something in there. If I do have them then I've had them for awhile and I think last night there eggs were officially hatching in my ear. It gives me the weebee jeebees.

 

napalm cures em

 

Really? No Way, what about rubbing alcohol or something strong?

 

rubbing alcohol is what THEY want you to use. If napalm isnt right, use flour.

 

Ok but if anything goes wrong, I'm telling them that crummyrummy told me to put it in there.

 

Cool.

 

I can feel them moving around in there right now, it kind of sounds like ear wax is breaking up but I know it's really just them playing the bongos.

 

they cant stand emo music.

 

They possibly like pirate music because I know they have hooks.

 

Gah, earwigs actually go inside one's ear?

That's pretty funky. Maybe try the stuff that they sell to loosen ear wax? It might wash them out.

 

Oh my gawd, I can feel them right now, they're inside there for sure, my ear drum hurts, I think it is doing something to my ear drum right now. I could die you know? Would if I die? How deep is the ear canal, can they crawl into my brain. Sometimes my brain hurts.

 

Nah! They don't, right?

I mean, they can't get past the eardrum without tearing it loose first, right? Wouldn't that make you deaf? I dunno, but it doesn't sound logical that some insects can just crawl into your ear and, you know, live inside your head... but I have no idea.

 

From Wikipedia:

The myth of an earwig finding its way into a person's ear is just that. Earwigs are generally considered harmless (despite their appearance and potential pest problem), though when threatened can resort to biting, which is akin to receiving a mild electric shock.

 

So then what is this pain in my ear, and why are they called ear wigs? The house I was living in down in detriot had an infestation of earwigs, thats why I'm thinking I have them for sure. Maybe I'm just paranoid.

 

I don't know. Maybe a doctor could help you with that? I'd go see a doctor if I were you, what if the source of these pains will turn you deaf for the rest of your life?

 

I did some research, you need to yodel for 12 minutes 14 seconds, than gargle with a mixture 1 part powder sugar, one part molasses, one part lemon pepper, and 3 parts water. For at least 1 hour.
After you need to go to a roller rink and trip teens and pre-teens until you get arrested.

 

(Laugh my fucking ass off) I miss the roller rink, they shut it down a couple years ago.

 

If the doctor says that there are earwigs in there, I don't know if I could sit there and deal with that without screaming or shoving something down my ear to sqwish them all. I had serious ear problems when I was kid, as of today I think I have the most alert ears in the world. I can hear anything.