Polygamy/Monogamy - your thoughts...

Discussion in 'Free Love' started by ExistentialPencil, May 27, 2006.

  1. I would like those interested to weigh-in with their take on the issue of free love, which is, ofcourse, a rather large part of original hippie culture.

    I don't like to consider myself a hippie as I feel labels are restrictive, but I do have many hippie leanings. However, at the risk of sounding very "unhip", I believe in monogamy. I feel as though polygamy is the natural biological state of animals, as is pretty obvious when you watch the Discovery channel for more than 12 seconds, but I believe that human emotions have evolved to such a degree, and have become so complex and convoluted that it is relatively difficult to have multiple sex partners without extreme jealousy setting in, as well as beginning to feel a feeling of worthlessness and as though the sex you are having with your chosen partner is generic and has become a meaningless ritual, as well as possibly causing many other psychosomatic issues that end up destroying a strong relationship.

    I suppose that it could be argued that this argument is one of nature vs. nurture. I believe that may be true. The way in which you were brought up and the culture in which you were brought up might change the way you view such a thing. Possibly I've lived too long in America, and as a result, have come to view sex as a profound thing that is partial to individuals in love, and come to view sex outside of that situation as being an act of treason and betrayal, essentially. I feel as though the very act of sex is a deeply spirtual thing and can easily be trivialized if rationed out to nearly any willing participant. The very idea of the woman I love in a situation of any sexual capacity with a person of any sex makes me sick. Again, possibly this is attributed to the fact that I've come to internalize the idea that sex is not a simple thing done as much for recreation as for a deeper spirtual purpose with a chosen individual.

    It's true that men have extreme sexual urges as, let's face it, we've not evolved all that far as of yet and they are still necessary for human advancement, but should those notions be continually allowed to be the law by which we govern our lives? Is that not asinine? Is it necessary to be having sex with every woman that comes along in order to feel fulfilled and to feel as though you're not missing out? Can sex with multiple partners exist without your feeling as though you've made devoid the meaning and purpose of sex with the one you've come to love?

    Your thoughts.
  2. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

    hmm.. it's an interesting subject
    because as far as polygymy goes, I am not for it, but I see no wrong in it as far as if both the people want it

    however, if it was a common thing:
    would it put greater stress on couples who practice monogamy?
    what about the spread of STDs?
    would people with multiple wives(or husbands) get different tax breaks and such?
  3. The question regarding polygamous marriage and tax breaks is an interesting one. I'd be willing to be their structure is different than that of a monogamous couple, but the qualitative difference therein is something I'd have to look up, which I might actually go do later today.

    The biggest question for the monogamous is: does monogamy go against nature and does it therefore create a greater stress on the people involved given the consistent biologically-induced frustrations? I think A:Yes, monogamy does go against nature, but whether or not it causes frustration in a man would be supported by anecdotal evidence rather than anything of empirical value. I suppose it depends on the man and possibly, at the risk of sounding pretentious, the quality of the relationship and the minds involved. Possibly if the relationship is strong enough, and the mental state of those involved is condusive to the entertaining of deeper thoughts and the creation of deeper desires than that of a lesser individual, monogamy can exist. I feel very pretentious in saying so, but possibly only the less intelligent of humans allow themselves to be governed by their base desires. It would make sense, as mystics and various types of eastern peduits through-out history - those with a greater control of mental states and a deeper enlightenment - have been able to supercede entirely their own biology simply through meditation and the subsequent control of the mind.

    I don't enjoy the feeling of self-righteous indignance, but I suppose what I've just postulated probably has that sort of tone. I think if polygamy works for you and your partner(s), whether you're a mongoloid, or a hyper-genius, it is a satisfactory justification for doing so, I just simply have a different opinion on it. Possibly it is only of a subject nature and not an object one.
  4. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

    I feel theat monogamy does not go against human nature, but rather the difference of opinion on the matter is part of abstract thought, and therefore part of human nature
  5. naughty_nun

    naughty_nun Member

    I myself am into polyamogy, however I dont see this as free love. Infact its anything but free. I believe that it is a natural part of my life and i wouldnt change how i feel for anyone. I was brought up in a family with parents who believed you shouldnt even look at another person let alone go near them if you were married. So on my part it isnt a fact of nurture that as given me my attitude. I do however think that it is personal choice and that this kind of relationship isnt for everyone. If you are uncomfortable with it them dont do it. I have had relationships where i have been with just purly that one person but they never last. Polyamory is all about being honest, open and trusting. Never lie to the person you love and never lie when getting into a relationship with someone else it will all end in tears!

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