Polygamy can benefit society.

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Emelina, Jul 2, 2013.

  1. Emelina

    Emelina Member

    Here a sociologist/anthropologist explains that the next marriage rights battle will be for polygamy. She brings up a lot of research she has done on modern-day polygamists, not the ones still acting like it is the 19th Century. In fact, many women living in polygamy today are career-oriented and educated and the polygamist unit acts somewhat like a communal form of living -- people sharing in childcare, finances and the like.


    So could this actually be a way for people to survive the inevitable collapse of the US financial empire?
  2. djomalley

    djomalley Fanch King

    I see nothing wrong with Polygamy. Minus the weird compound marriage shit, these are consenting adults so who is anyone to say its wrong, right or anything in between. People are scared of anything that's not 'traditional'. I didn't bother with the video you posted, mainly because I don't care. When it comes down to a vote, polygamists already have mine.
  3. autophobe2e

    autophobe2e Senior Member

    my approval, yes, although my support for marriage rights for them is somewhat less certain. i think polygamous relationships are just as valid as any other, but i don't like the idea that we should demand that they be recognised by the state as it re-asserts the idea that marriage, or love itself, is not valid until recognised by an external authority

    while it is good to increase the definition of "standard" marriages to encompass a wider variety of relationships, in so doing we still shore up the importance of a "standard" to which we should aspire. and, more importantly, a standard which is given validity through official approval.

    so yeah, i'm kind of ambivalent about it, i suppose. i worry that the romantic and the practical are being conflated, which i am convinced is the socio-political purpose of traditional marriage, practical for the state rather than the couple, of course.

    i suppose if they want it then they should have it, it's only fair(er), i just kind of think that it's a shame if they do. why demand acceptance? why integrate? why be part of a dull hegemony? fuck them, love is real enough without the government saying so.
  4. Trojjan

    Trojjan Member

    They may not let it happen as it will have an impact on divorce which is big business. In reality marriage itself is selfish and an illusion. Marriage is not human nature, its a product of human society. At the same time i'm not against it if thats what people want to do, i wont be getting married tho.

    I'm with Polygamy :sunny:
  5. Maelstrom

    Maelstrom Banned

    Instead of attempting to legalize marriage for anyone who does not have the support of traditionalists, we should simply abolish marriage altogether.
  6. Meliai

    Meliai Banned

    I agree. I simply don't think marriage is relevant anymore. That's not to say that people can't get symbolically married in their church or whatever, but from a political standpoint the government doesn't need to be involved in marriage.
  7. crazyMax28

    crazyMax28 Banned

    Like this I am ok with polygamy :)
  8. monkjr

    monkjr Senior Member

    I disagree with your point that civil marriage is irrelevant today, given that the definition of being married allows law enforcement officials some vague understanding of certain rights legally in medical (ambulance next of kin notification) scenarios, property rights transfers upon injury/death.

    Not everybody makes a living will either, so if a legal marriage paper trail is all someone has to go by then it is very important.

    But I disagree with traditionalist family structure, and feel that if you have the proper standing and the economical means and right personality to take an additional spouse without causing the neglect or abuse of loved ones (spouses or children thereof) there shouldn't be a problem.

    To traditionalists, whose values originate from Judeo-Christian principles, I should point out that many MAJOR biblical figures had multiple wives, and only in the definition of adultery or fornication did those biblical figures (like David or Soloman) get in trouble.
  9. Quiet Storm

    Quiet Storm Member

    I started watching that show called "Sister Wives" -- with a polygamist who had 4 wives. I was curious and wasn't cool with the idea.
    Then the show grew on me, I saw that they all loved each other. The children had to face issues at school and home, as well as had to be taught the ways of polygamy.
    Personally I don't agree with it. I observed the wives having to share affection, personal time and time for sex with their husband. It was hurtful for some of them.
    I wouldn't and can't share a husband or want to be shared.
    I want a unity and a life partner -- a one on one personal bond with the man I love. I want to be the apple of his eye, his queen - his one and only.
  10. MikeE

    MikeE Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    Lets suppose that Bob, Mary and Sally are married in a polygamous marriage.

    Do Mary and Sally regard themselves as married to each other?
    If Mary has a child (Bob is the father) does Sally consider herself a mother to that child? Does Mary agree with that assesment?

    If Bob dies, are Mary and Sally still married?
    If Bob and Mary die in a common accident, is Mary's child now Sally's resposibility?

    I'm asking these questions not to point out the variety of legal variations that are possible, but to highlight the non-legal complications of poly-marriage.

    If a pair marriage is two people committing to each other and their children, what is the commitment that three people would be making to each other and their children.

    The number of relationships involved goes up geometrically with the number of people involved.

    (BTW, before anyone makes unjustified assumptions about my opinions, "difficult" does not mean "wrong" or "bad")

    Poly-marriage becoming more common would require an inquiry into what commitment means and the different forms that it can take. That explicit investigation of commitment might cause people to consider what their commitment is when entering a pair marriage. Polygamy might strengthen pair marriage.
  11. Aerianne

    Aerianne Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    I've been in a polyamorous relationship but of course it never came to polygamy.
  12. LetLovinTakeHold

    LetLovinTakeHold Cuz it will if you let it

    I don't really have an opinion on polygamy, but I don't think government should be in control of marriage.
  13. autophobe2e

    autophobe2e Senior Member

    would it? sounds like that might err towards the prescriptive...
  14. MikeE

    MikeE Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    ^^ It might end up that there is a standard prescriptive one-size-fits-all poly marriage contract. I see it more likely that individualized support contracts between people, that aren't recognized as "marriage", will be the starting point. Bob, Mary and Jane will answer my questions differently than Sam, Dianne and Sarah and will have a different contract.
  15. autophobe2e

    autophobe2e Senior Member

    i think i would support the eventual replacement of traditional marriage with more individualised contracts, provided that the nature of the commitment or arrangement between people, in as much as it does not relate to property rights or economic arrangements, is left to the discretion of the parties in question, and not made the purview of legal institutions, unless, for whatever reason, it is desired.
  16. sunfighter

    sunfighter Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    I think anyone who believes strongly in freedom should support polygamy. Why should the state have any say?
  17. MikeE

    MikeE Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    Why should the state have any say? Because the state is expected to recognize and enforce the marriage contract.
    The typical example of making medical decisions for an unconscious patient. Who?

    If the state is expected to enforce the results of marriage, it should have a say as to at least the record keeping and indeed the boundaries of marriage.

    If a spouse has emergency medical decision making power, it would be inconsistent (and a big hassle to the state) to allow someone who is incapable of making decisions about their own medical care to become anybody's spouse.

    The state is a stakeholder in every marriage, it should have a say.
  18. Cherea

    Cherea Senior Member

    Benefit society?
    Collapse of the U.S. financial empire?
    Communal living?

    Wow. And here I was thinking one marriage was bad enough...To me, that's as mystifying as why gays would want to be married. To be as miserable as straight people?
  19. daisymae

    daisymae Senior Member

    I don't believe polygamy would benefit society. It seems to be more about sex than marriage. It's never multiple husbands... Just multiple baby factories.
  20. monkjr

    monkjr Senior Member

    That's just the dark side of it, as does one-to-one ratio of marriage has a dark side to it as well.

    If multiple wives became legal, it would set up the legal argument to allow the opposite set up as well according to the law from a civil perspective, the whole 4th amendment equal treatment under the law argument.

    True, various religions would have trouble with it, but they couldn't stop it.


    The legal status and well-being of children from these types of relationship setups is concerning though, because your right, this issue has the reputation of being more about "creating a harem" than about genuine relationships.

    The only way to test that stigma, is to see if good people make this relationship setup work, and to an extent the law must require a certain amount of material wealth that is ensured to the well-being of the spouse(s) regardless of gender and children.

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