Polyfuckery And Ethical Sluttery.blog

I've never been in an open relationship, but I think it is the most ideal type of relationship because it follows the fuck yes principles of living.

Fuck Yes I want to be with this person - Every day you wake up still wanting to be with the person you're with. Living well together, teaming up together and sharing intimacy and honesty. You have every right to fall out of love with each other, but you are not insulating yourselves from it by exclusivity. Every day you are fuck yes still in love with your partner.

Fuck yes I will do what I feel good about - Having a moment with someone else, an emotional connection, playful flirting or an extended physical affair is not cheating, it is not a violation and is not shameful. If you are moved physically, emotionally, spiritually in a way you feel fuck yes about you should fucking go for it.

Thoughts and experiences?

 

This thread title is misleading and evident of my desire to use the work fuck a lot in the OP.

But I'll go ahead and get more personal since I called it a blog.

For myself, I've always felt an open relationship would be ideal for several reasons not the least of which is it would take my manic sex drive off of 101 reasons I'd make a terrible wife [just 100 more to conquer]. I think I'm one normal about 70% of the time, on low about 20% and on high about 10% of the time. If I had a partner that understood and accepted this about me, we wouldn't hold each other solely responsible for each other's sex lives.

I feel like it can strengthen a good relationship to be free to adjust your boundaries as you see fit, given the situation that you are in. To live unrestricted without making your partner feel discarded.

 

My husband and I just decided to open up this aspect of our relationship here recently. It has opened up the communication of our relationship so incredibly much and we truly feel it's been the most fulfilling decision we've ever made for ourselves.

It's so wonderful to be able to go to my husband and tell him about the happiness these new relationships give me and I truly enjoy watching him grow from his new bonds as well.

We've had a few struggles but it's helped us overcome many of our weaknesses together through accountability and consideration for each other.


The fact that the idea of this is such a taboo thing has become other-worldly and changed my communication with other people on a daily basis. I think it's all good, but I'm sure that's debatable. I'm interested in seeing peoples different ideas on here.

 

why open relationship? why not just be single and avoid all the drama??

 

Why assume there will be drama? And why stay single if you connect with someone and trust each other?

 

well usually when you start a relationship with someone exclusivity is involved. if i was in love and in a relationship with a girl i just couldn't be ok with her sucking other guys dicks! thats my whole! mine!

 

But why feel the need to place ownership over someone you love?

 

because when i love someone i want them to think of only me and i want all their time and attention and energy and i dont want them to get any kind of sexual pleasure that isn't from me and basically i just want that person to be mine. all mine.... my precious!!

 

u never felt that way?

 

But just because they do doesn't mean they don't love you any less. That is a common idea for people, but it doesn't make it any less fundamentally flawed.

If you truly believed that you were not interchangeable with another human being, would you feel the same?

 

I always felt open relationships were ideal until I experienced it. I no longer feels that way...sounds nice but not for me.

 

And that's fair enough. It's not for everyone. I've known of people to have some bad experiences, but I don't want to let that stop me from having my own experiences. Humans learn by doing. I just kind of have to trust myself and my husband.

 

actually,
i think that when your in a relationship, its the exclusivity that makes sex so special, the fact that its something only we share.



so let me ask you a question, did you, or your partner ever experience jealousy at all, at any point in your quest for an open relationship?

c'mon don't lie, i bet someone at some point didn't feel 100% about it.

 

To be fair, we haven't gotten that too far into other relationships. But we've had little issue so far.

And by "little issue" I mean no one is perfect. We all get jealous once in a while, but that's the beauty of polyamory.

The IDEA is, when you DO experience jealousy, you as your self WHY. Typically, the reason you feel jealous is attached to some kind of insecurity about yourself or your relationship.
The beauty of poly relationships is the intimacy that this new communication creates between you and your partners.

 

while i do agree that the root of jealousy is sometimes some form of insecurity, i don't think that this can be the only cause of jealousy. i mean, what your saying is that there is no legitimate reason to feel jealous because it all comes from insecurity.

thats not why i feel jealous. i would feel jealous if i am giving 100% of myself to a person and that person is only giving me 90% (and maybe 5% to two other guys on the side!). if im truly in love with you and im going into this relationship 100%, i expect you to do the same, any less is unacceptable to me.

if you feel jealous you have to sit there and analyze yourself for some kind of insecurity, that doesn't sound too pleasant.

baby if i loved you, i would do everything in my power to never let you feel jealousy or any negative emotion ever, and i would give myself 100% to you, and only you, and i'd promise to fuck you so hard you would never even think of being with anyone else ever again.

 

I just think it depends on each person/couple whether an open relationship may work for them or not. I certainly don't think it's "wrong" per se just because it's not a monogamous thing. It's just a tricky matter because all parties involved need to understand and be comfortable with the whole idea, and perhaps the most important thing of all is that strong love and trust need to be established between a couple before someone else becomes involved. I think that all parties need to have all the right ingredients if they want an open relationship to work, or else it may cause problems. But if they do then I don't see any problem with that.

 

actually i would say the opposite is necessary for an open relationship. in the past the girlfriends i let my friends fuck are those that i don't care enough about to be jealous.

 

i dont believe in it.

i think that if you know your not getting 100%, your not going to give 100%.

i know theres a difference between love and sex, but i believe when your truly in love with someone, you wont want to cause them any pain, like feeling jealousy.

and i dont believe any of these open relationships are 100% free of jealousy, as we have already established with bunnielight.

why try to "deal" with your feelings of jealousy, when you can just avoid them by not having sex with people outside your relationship. if you still feel like having sex with multiple people, you cause alot less pain by staying single.

you can have "fuck buddies" which are like an open relationship because both of you are aware that your fucking other people, but the difference is that your not in love with them, so they dont cause any jealousy.

 

Well, I think that those who don't believe in it definitely have a right not to believe in it. Like, it's not your thing, totally fine. But to impose such ideas on others while essentially dissing the opposing views, to me at least, seems like a totally one-sided, selfish, ego-driven behaviour. That's my opinion so those who disagree are welcome to do so.

I'm currently not in any situation that is classified as polyamory, but I'm in a bit of a unique(but extremely genuine and loving) relationship and I definitely think about the well-being of my partner where her intimate experience is concerned. Despite our huge age gap, we are both still virgins and really neither of us has much experience under our belt. So especially as the older of the two, I just can't help but think that somewhere down the road, she just might wish that she had more opportunities to explore in that aspect. That was also something one of my best friends(female) was saying a little while ago as well. Funny thing is, my dude best friend thinks my girl would never be like that, lol.

But really, whatever happens happens. I still believe that, for something like polyamory to work, a great deal of love and trust need to be established between a couple prior to any situation involving a third party takes place. Reason being, without those things, there's only selfishness left as far as I'm concerned. Instead of being considerate, if in an unconventional way, that one wishes for one's partner's natural needs to experiment, to go on a journey to become their better self, to grow in an ultimate sense, one's wish is to possess, to own, one's partner in the name of "morality" while, if unintentionally, in essence disregarding their needs and potential to excel in life.

Mind you, neither my girlfriend nor I are ready for anything polyamorous at this time. I don't even know if we ever will be, for that matter. But personally, I am open-minded enough to consider the possibility, and I certainly love my girl enough to wish that she gets as many positive and meaningful things(sexually or non-sexually) in life as she possibly can. The most important thing is communication. A couple must make sure that each party is on the same page as the other one. And if the page says "monogamy", then no problem. If the page says "why not try an open relationship?", then how can it be bad, provided that the page has been written by both parties based on love and trust?

That's what I personally think.