Polyamorous

Anyone else here feel like they’re poly??

 

surprised out of the all people on here, others aren't interested in this. I would love to live with my wife and our gf.

 

No, but I have no problem with those that can manage that lifestyle. I have friends who are in a committed threesome relationship. They have taken symbolic vows. They are great people and coexist well together.

 

That sounds terrific to me.

 

I believe the thinking of Polyamory is misconstrued being limited to sexual relationships. If that would be the true definition I would fit the mold. But it is not. Polyamory is having intimate relationships with more than one in all aspects of life and the others have the same relationship within the group. I have sexual relationships with several women but an intimate relationship with only one. Therefore I am not Polyamorous by definition. My lifestyle leans more towards being Monogamish, a term coined several yeas ago by a sex columnist, that means having one significant partner but also having sexual relationships with others outside the partnership with consent.

 

A friend of ours lived with us for over a year and it was Great to have 2 men in my house!

 

You are correct, it’s not about sex. It’s very different than an open relationship. I think I could really enjoy it, just need to get my girl onboard, then find a 3rd.

 

What would you say if she wanted a man instead of a girl? Are you prepared for that!? I don’t think I would be. Just say’in.

 

I think i would be ok with it, at least to give it a try. I wish she had guy friends like i have girl friends. My two best friends are girls, I trust them more than any guy I know. Everyone needs a confidante or two.

 

I would love to .
It's freedom and commitment at the same time without any judgements.

 

I have a primary relationship with a woman, which involves sex on a regular basis and all the other forms of love, but not living together. Then there are other women and men who I've known for a long time that I love in all ways except for actual sex, and my girlfriend is aware of these relationships. And, I also have casual safe sex (physical affection, mutual masturbation, but no intermingling of body fluids) with men on a fleeting basis once or twice per year that my girlfriend is not aware of. According to your definition, I am not polyamorous. I accept that, but I must say that all of these relationships feel intimate to me.

The best model for describing my behavior is Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, where all of these relationships take place on the Love and Belonging layer of the pyramid. I have this basic mammalian need for physical and emotional affection, and an additional need for intellectual intimacy, which involves us human-animals sharing the inner life of what is going on in our minds.

So, maybe there could be a category called "poly-intimate". My personal "Maslow pyramid" seems to get unstable when I don't have this base of intimacy working in my life.

 

Your lifestyle is more of a open relationship or as you describe it, poly-intimate. (There is such a category) There are couple of disconnects from polyamory in your description though. Your primary relationship seems void of commitment since you do not live together, share expenses, nor have a formal agreement similar to marriage. This is a form of non-monogamy that leans towards the definition of a casual relationship. Casual relationships can and do have a level of intimacy. Even in my sexual relationships I feel a close level of intimacy with my partner I am having sex with but I am not poly-amorous with any of them. Even though these relationships feel intimate none fit the mold of being polyamory. Plus your same sex encounters are not consented to as would be in a polyamory relationship. Since there is no level of consent in any of your relationships I lean away from you being poly-intimate and more towards just having casual sex.

 

Well, I agree with what you say, except for your statement about my primary relationship. We have been going together for 15 years, talking every day, sex every weekend, vacation together, going out on dates every week-- it actually has more of a sense of commitment than my prior 20-year marriage and her prior 10-year marriage did. We just figured out how to maintain the spark in a better way than our marriages had.

 

My lovely wife and I met at a Polyamory discussion group in the late 90s. We’ve never been exclusive.

 

My wife and I have entered into a poly relationship with a close friend of ours.
Shes getting over a lot of inhibitions, and realizes its ok to love us both.

 

We had a friend that lived with us for about a year, some nights I would sleep with him and other nights I would sleep with hubby . Some nights I would sleep with Both!

 

Alice, You know I have followed you here for years.
Good for you. It’s what makes “you” a confident woman. Be looking out for a PM from me,

 

Living my dream!

 

Wow that must been awesome! Did you have your favorite!

 

Both at the same time! ❤❤