please read

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by TheMistress, Aug 18, 2005.

  1. TheMistress

    TheMistress Senior Member

    If youve read the "My Love," in the love and sex section than please read this. Tell me what you think, i wrote this to my b/f tonight(sorry its full of spelling mistakes, I dont feel like proof reading):

    Justin,
    I want to tell you that I miss you. I hate the fact that I miss you, but I really do. I almost cried at work when I had to ask Andrew for a ride home. And I was expecting that you would come home, but now its 3 am and Im up all alone. No one else that I know stays up this late. I'm so sad. I hate my life. I feel so hopeless. I feel like my mother, like I cant descide anything.Omigod, I am just like her, it makes me sick. I don't know what to do with myself. <that is what my mother would say in this situation, and I just wrote it without even tring to sound like her. i make myself sick. I wish that I didnt like girls. I wish I wa s a normal straight fucking girl who loved guys, and was all boy crazy like most girls are. That way we wouldnt be going through this. Living together makes evrything harder b/c of the stress of finding new living arrangements, and blah blah. not to mention that I will have to start sleeping alone, without you and not have your beautiful face to look at in the morning anymore. I talked with anna tonight, I feel like I have my head on backwards, even worse, I feel like its gone, or like it was never there. fuck i dont know. see, there i go again. Oh baby, I wish youd come home. I need a hug. you make me feel safe. I thin k that s another thing, I feel so comfy with you, like I know that whatever happens i will have you, and I feel like i have total control. Thats not good because it gives me the opportunity to dick around. I just really feel that my being with you is unhealthy for both of us, especially for you right now. I KNOW this: that if something isn't done about the ANna thing, it WILL continue to be a problem for the rest of my life. I need to do something. I need to figure things out. I think I/m going to go see the psychologist that my mom sees. I thin k that he may be able to help me think clearer and help me learn to sort out and solve my problems better. I'll call tomorrow. Justin, I want to do something. I need to change my life. Im so unhappy with everything. I tired of being so sad, I sick of being so confused, and most of all Im sick of being unconfedent in every decsiion i try and make. I hurt justin, I hurt so bad, and Im doing it to myself. I think I really hate me this bad that I do these horrible things to myself.
    I hope to see you soon,
    love lindsay.
     
  2. Libertine

    Libertine Guru of Hedonopia

    Mistress,

    You need to get control of yourself, sweetheart. You are going through an emotional hell obviously, but you can't let these things overcome you. Until you embrace yourself and who you are as a free agent, beautiful, powerful and unique, you'll be geared toward this dependency.

    You are an extremely attractive female, with a great personality and wonderful online presence. Control your experiences, control your reactions to your emotions. Think about how you feel and create a way to express yourself.

    Much love to you - LIBERTINE
     
  3. SelfStyled

    SelfStyled Banned

    Hi Mistress.

    Couple of things:-
    1)Why did it all go wrong with anna?
    Is that completely finished with?
    There was concern expressed here re her violence I know.

    2)And the situation with Justin?
    What can you offer him?A relationship again?friendship?a chance of a new start with him?

    All I can say is , be prepared to accept that your emotions can change.
    Its not like a written contract.You can talk about the past but youcant change it.
    You can feel the present.You can prepare for the future.

    Youre 19 years old and beautiful.Youve broken 1 or 2 hearts , may well break more and maybe have yours broken a few times.
    Maybe thats hard to accept but thats the fact.
    All your emotions are involved.Youre not ill.Sure it feels bad , but time will heal.

    re your letter , remember its not just how you feel.What can you offer him>?promise him?tell him!Hes just as confused as you are.

    Think of it this way.Theres a path for you.You might want the short one , you may worry youre taking the wrong one.But in the end , the destinations will be worth all the hardship.Even in the darkest hours , you must feel something /someone(?) helping u along.

    Good luck!
    Self Styled.
     
  4. old tiger

    old tiger Senior Member

    Mistress,

    Libertine and Self styled have given excellent postings here..
    I would only say*just follow the voice in your inner self*
    You will be happy..no doubt about that..just make your choice..
    the worst prison..would be a closed heart..
    remember...life..is like a rainbow..
    sunshine&rain are both necessary..
    to give it its beautiful colours:)
    Wish you happiness..
     
  5. TheMistress

    TheMistress Senior Member

    thank s everyone. Im having a rough day today. sleep...
     

Share This Page


  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice