Please Please Please Help Me!!!

I'm having a crisis at the moment and I really need some advice, I'm not thinking straight right now.

My girlfriend and I (yes i am a lesbian) have been together for 6 years. We've had our ups and downs, more downs than anything. But this weekend we rolled with our best friends and we ended up all eating each other out we were so fucked up. My girlfriend didn't say ANYTHING the night it happened. I was texting my best friend which is the girl I ate out, and I told her that I am mad because my girlfriend doesn't let me fuck her with the strap on. Well my g/f saw the text got all pissed off and is now FORCING ME to set up a threesome with the girl just so I can fuck her with the strap on. my g/f is being very mean and calling me names and took off about 3 hours ago. She wont come home until I tell her a date and time of when I want this threesome to happen. I don't want this to happen because it will fuck up our relationship and not to mention my friendship with my best friend (who is the other girl) I live in Miami and if I break up with my g/f i have no where to go...no where at all. I don't even have family. What the fuck do I do? I love my g/f so much but this situation is really making me question everything?

 

just chill out and wait for everything to calm down

 

ummmm, first of all, it is probably wise to keep your sex life with your girlfriend to yourself. it's no one's business and it's disrespectful to her.

also, if you are going to disrespect her and discuss your sex life with other people, it's probably best not to discuss it with people you have had sex with...even if that person just so happens to be your best friend.

then there is the whole question of...what the fuck were you thinking getting into a...foursome...when you you know it ruins relationships.


having nowhere else to go after a break up is not a good enough reason to stay with her. she deserves more respect than that.

you've got to dig yourself out of a pretty deep hole.

 

i don't really have any advice. it does seem like you complain about her quite a bit. might be something to think about.

 

But she won't come home at all. Do I just ignore her. I'm afraid if I do that it will make the situation worse. But we have been fighting through text messages for like 3 hours now. I have no more tears left in me.

 

um, she left bc she needed a break. so give it to her.

 

wow..and sorry! :grouphug:

maybe instead of sex you all could just talk. seems like sex is going to mess things up more. i'm confused as to why she would insist upon sex.. seems odd. seems she's mad and not thinking straight. let her cool off some before trying to have a reasonable conversation about things.

 

Thank you for your honest opinion. I needed that. The only reason I posted it online is because I don't want to discus this with the other girl is because my g/f told me not to. I'm sorry but I had to talk to someone about it. I know the whole thing was a bad idea but we were all so trashed, I don't think I will be taking ecstasy again though after this experience.

 

My point exactly I don't want to do it but she is forcing me to do it. She told me I have to set the date to do it or our relationship is over...I want her not anyone else. I keep telling her that but she keeps screaming at me. WTF it's a two way street we both did it. If she didn't want it she should have said "hey I don't want to do this" and I would have stopped what I was doing, but she didn't. I don't get it! I think she is trying to fuck with my head.

 

i'm sorry you are in this situation. the fact that the girl you had a foursome with is your best friend and the person you decided to vent to...that's really really messy...

i don't even know how i'd go about fixing it, but not doing ecstacy again sounds like a good start.

 

let's not be unreasonable... only doing ecstacy with male friends should be safe.

 

If I leave her the only place I have to go is a homeless shelter...I have no where to stay. She is the only person I have ever loved, this is so confusing.

 

No she specifically told me she is not coming home until I tell her when i want to have the threesome. It sounds childish but that is how she is.

 

I think if you set up a date with your best friend it will also finish the relationship.

I am sure a lot is being said in anger and maybe doing nothing is the best idea in the short term.

That it happened with a friend muddies the water, so you may wish to back off of that friendship and concentrate on your relationship right now.

Hope the situation improves. Hang in there.

*edit* For the record, no one can force you to do anything you are not willing to do.

 

just chill, she will calm down eventually

 

Oh come on. I spend so much time trying to convince everyone how childish the heteros are, only to get a thread like this

 

MayQueen.....your girlfriend is really abusive. I say this based not only on this post of yours but others i have read over the past year. I understand that you love her and care about her but she treats you like crap. On many occassions you have talked about how she yells at you and makes you feels bad only to apologize later. Now she is telling you that you have to set up a threesome or else the relationship is over. That is so controlling and it is sexually abusive. Nobody has the right to make you do something sexual and to threaten you if you dont do it.

The thought of leaving and going to a shelter is probably scary as hell. However, I think you have seen her go through the whole cycle of abuse (things are good ....then there's tension....then an explosion...then things are good again etc) enough times to know that she isnt changing. You deserve to be treated better. I wouldnt arrange for the threesome if I were you. Maybe you can crash at a different friends house for a while? Look for a roomate and save up some money? You can plan to leave slowly. It doesnt have to be a sudden move. I wish you the best of luck. You shouldn't have to feel scared the way you do. You deserve to feel happy and loved.

here is the number to the National DV hotline 1-800-799-SAFE

 

Threesomes can really complicate relationships as it did for me in the beginning of my relationship, but we got through it. Whats more important to you... your friendship or your relationship with your other??? If she won't calm down until you make the date... then I would make the date. She feels inadequate because of the text message and vulnerable because of the threesome. If it were me, I would text your girlfriend and be like I don't want this, I want you. I'd give up everything for you including using a strap on... but if I can't have you unless I set this date. Then I will set this date. If she texts you back set it, then set that shit. Once things calm down, you can talk about canceling the date and fixing whats broken. Good luck May. Nothing but positive energy and love your way from here.

 

no, do not go through with the strap on thing. you don't want to do it, and neither does she! think clearly, step out of the cloud.

if going to a shelter is your only option, maybe you should do it. maybe then she'll realize that you're serious about only wanting her.

 

you could always set a date in 2055.

i always thought your posts were about how childish women are, so this would make perfect sense.

but then i usually just skim your longer posts, so i may have misinterpreted some.