What is this! You incompetent gorillas! Intimidation and arrogance. You beasts! Please no more. I do not belong here. My dreams, My fantasy and science fiction books, that kept me awake night over night. Reading, dreaming, forgetting.. I do not belong here. Only in dreams, warmth remains. Sorry father. I never ment to be here.
bah... how do i get back to sleep? I don't know..i'm 18.. trying to get my highschool diploma trough a thrid party goverment instance (not doing highschool anymore.. got kicked out).. and what then? College? and then?... years of repetive work day in day out.. living in this sick society where growing old stands for losing all your emotions...being broken in pieces until there is no dignity left.. *sighs* ... i wish i could still live in the illusion of ignorance...blind people don't suffer as much as those who see all the pain around them...
Nice... i wish i could just do that.. but i'm lazy.. i wouldn't surive a day in this society.. my parents would kick me out.. and i would be stuck working in a factory or some kind of inhumaine job.. bah.. i'm jalouse that you managed to do that.. only thing i want is just quit with all this nonesense.. this world makes no sense at all.
I only see the path of dead that remains.. but i suppose the future brings what it brings..i guess i just have to bare it and slowly go insane till the point i'm like all the other brainless morrons that find joy in earning money and wearing expensive clothes and making meaningless love... bah.. you're right.. i'm just whining and i don't know why.
because it's madness, man. it's fucking INSANE! and you know it. if you go to college at least you can study something you're interested in... a lot of my friends are anthropology majors. personally, I can't do all that, but it's pretty interesting.
Yea.. perhaps.. my dream is to study game design.. i like computer games more then anything (besides books perhaps).. *sighs*.. i just like alternate realities, those seem to be the only ones that can still give me joy and forget about the insanity of this world.. you're right stalk.. i thank you.. i should just keep fighting.. i'm just afraid that i'm going to loose myself.. idealists, dreamers.. they belong to another world.. blah.. sorry for all the whining.. being down and a little bit wasted... stupid me.
it's an interesting field..especially with the way the technology is developing. soon I think humans will be able to totally immerse themselves in virtual reality. what a trip...
..yea.. sorry if that was a bit vague.. i mean.. what junk will need his daily heroine shot if he can just link up to a alternate reality?...can you see this new generation of people who prefers the cyber reality over this world?.. but perhaps the goverment would make this kind of technology illegal.. we wouldn't be productive anymore if we just lived in a virtual reality eh?
Pellinore, today I've been reading your poetry posts and I have to say I think you have some amazing qualities in your writing. A job is a job is a job. College is a door. Please believe that and try to hold on to getting through whatever you have to do to get to that door. Once you get through the door it will still be a pain but you have to remember there is a very long hallway and along the way there will be other doors. Imagine a 1000 piece puzzle sprawled out on the floor. You have reached 10 pieces or so and they are not fitting yet, but as you walk life's path, other pieces will come into your hands, and then others... at some point it will start to make sense and something will connect. A job is a job is a job. Sometimes it can be just what someone needs to put food on the table, a roof over your head, and time into your hands to write poetry. Please keep writing your poetry and start "looking out the window" and writing about what you see. A falling kid brother is a good example to writing by looking out... You have a gift in your writing that needs to be developed and shared. Keep posting and thinking about poetry. It is a great rope to climb. Look forward to more of your stuff. Vetty
Thank you.. just had been terribly depressed lately.. even got my arm wrapped up in bandage right now.. and don't ask why -points to the blooded arm poem-.. Had a talk with a friend yesterday.. she told me the same as you said.. i only wish my parents wouldn't be this negative.. they keep telling me to sacrifice everything just to get my highschool diploma.. just creates a very depressing atmosphere here at home.. but i guess the future will bring what it brings.. i guess i should just live on.. even if it is for the few moments of joy still to come.
hi what a picture ,a path you write of. in dreams we can feeel free ... like life at times .be who you are ... lovely poem.. of animal, human emotions.. {thats what i get from your words,,} lovenpeace from saff.
