Hey man, glad to see that we talked you out of suicide... that would have been a bummer. Do you want to know what I make of all of this? I could be wrong, but it seems like you bottle yourself up. Everybody goes through stresses, being bullied, and sometimes more extreme scenarios. But I think that you're resulting to these actions because there's no other outlet. You need a release, but first you need to know something: You're awesome the way you are. You need to have the self reliance that says, "Let's do this. If I fail, or [so and so] doesn't like me, then at least I like me". Really, take some genuine time to reflect fully - it's definitely worth it. Realize that you need to express some emotions. Let's start by being honest. How do you feel right now? Happy? Sad? Angry? Depressed? Enlightened? Write it down. Declare it. "This is how I feel. Fuck what [so and so] thinks, fuck what [so and so] does about it. This is me". Obviously, you're going to want to bend these emotions - but don't expect it to happen overnight; it might take some time. Obviously, I'm guessing you want to feel happy, so what I want you to do for the rest of your life is WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO. Whatever will bring you more happiness, whatever makes you feel great inside - Be passionate about it, and give it your ALL. I can almost guarantee you that eventually, you WILL break these chains. and if you keep at it, I ABSOLUTELY guarantee it! Sooner or later, you will be the master and controller of your emotions. But like I said before, you have to be honest and declare how you're feeling ALWAYS. You can't change what you cannot admit. PS - you rock. don't let any piece of shit tell you otherwise.
thank you for being there to listen, divinitywithin, you've a kind heart.......it has given me some resolution that im not going insane.....
I think at 19, you're ready to leave the nest and too scared to do so. Your problem sounds like you have too much time on your hands. You should ask the question of what you want to do in the next year. Same ol crap, or try something new? Move away from where you are now. Another state maybe. Part of your problem sounds like environment. I like to move every few years. Meet new people. Try the Peace Corp. Go back to school. And get a bicycle. Exercise is best for depression. Even better than medication in most cases. Ride it enough, you'll be tired at the end of the day. You can sleep better too. My best advice is to stop moaning about life and do something to change it. Don't think. DO! Get off your butt and make it happen. x
just don't think so much, man. you're inflicting alot of pain on yourself. accept what you are and everything that comes with being you, and do the same for others. believe it or not, but for the most part, it really is that simple. simple, but not easy. if you put in the effort, your life will change.
Exactly what he said (above me). Once you've had a chance to reflect and see why you feel this way, just drop it. That's right, it's not called denial [like many many people would like you to think for repeat business]. It's called honesty. It's called "I know WHY this happened, but now it's time to just live my life". And that's the best thing one can do!
Hey man It may be time to learn some techniques for managing your self...know that every emotion has a breath or breathing rhythm associated with it...the breath is the connections between the mind body and spirit. there is a rhythm associated with anger and one associated with depression.....observe your breathing and develop the habit of taking a deep drawn out breath to change the way you are feeling...good way to do that is to go work out and pay attention to your breathing......look at my website for more info <edited>
