Please Help Me!

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by -moonshine-memi-, Apr 16, 2007.

  1. my sister met her husband when she was 15. he was 21.

    at first my parents wouldnt let them see each other because of the age difference. my sister lied to them and went behind their back to continue contact with him.
    my parents gave up and thought if its meant to be it will be.

    well they got married when she was 19. they had their first child one year later. and their second 5 years later. my sister is now 26.
    i have never been very close to my brother-in-law however i have felt that he understands me and treats me as an adult.

    when i was younger he used to slap me on the ass and stuff like that, i got freaked out and avoided him.

    my sister and her husband due to financial difficulties have moved into my parents house for this year. since they moved in i had been talking with her husband about all sorts of stuff and continue to get a weird vibe.

    during one of our discussions i found out that he does not consider my sister to be the love of his life and he has in fact been unfaithful.

    putting the fact that he creeps me out aside.


    i dont know what to do... due to recent events my parents would like them to move out. however i am worried that if she leaves and then finds out about her marriage that she will feel she has no where to go.

    is it my place to tell her?
  2. Cutted

    Cutted Cutted

    It is not your place to tell her now. You need more evidence that he is cheating. You may have misinterpreted what he said, or your sister may feel that you are saying this so they will split up so you can get him. Or that you are the one who has been having sex with her husband.

    And there are two children involved. Better not to say anything unless and until your sister asks you if you know anything.
  3. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

    personally id tell her. not bluntly, but ask if shes had any worries, relate your conversation to her without adding to what he said at all. i mean, shes family and its better for her to know sooner rather than daeling with years and years and years of lying
  4. Marija

    Marija Senior Member

    i think yes, but not right now
    whait thill things settle down, in menawhile talk to her husband again and make sure that you didn't misunderstood something he said

    when you feel that the moment is right and that she will be strong enough to handle it tell her
  5. mlee27

    mlee27 Member

    this is your family, my older sister was married for 19 years and from day one i knew (because he told me) and observed infidelity and lying about drugs. damn straight i told her and of course it caused some strife between us, but we are sisters and you learn to forgive and forget. they just in the last 2 months have gone through a bitter divorce after 19 years and 3 kids, she smartened up ans unfortunatly she wasted 19 years of her young life on an asshole the only thing good that came out of it was her 3 beautiful kids. tell her
  6. soaringeagle

    soaringeagle Senior Member

    yesssssssssssss u must tell her but like was said without adding anything or giving your opinin only say hey, im lil confused..he told me this & it made me feel weird..just give her the facts of what was said nothing more dont try telling her she should do this or that just let her know your there for her..she may already know..shjhe maybe prettending to have a love & familty life for the sake of the kids & she may put up with abuse cause hes all she ever knew..she maybe very scared to dump an asshole cause thge asshols the only guy shes ever been with..&..if hes that big an asshole i bet you anything that hes got her believing that she canyt do better..& doesnt desserve anything more
  7. i would tell her. soon. and, like soaring eagle said, just say exactly what he told you. dont tell her what to do or anything, just let her deal with what he said.
  8. I agree with wanderin blues. Tell her, EXACTLY what he said, and DO NOT tell her how to handle it. Think about it this way, if she ever finds out and also finds out that you knew the whole time..... I think you know the rest. Tell her
  9. i did end up telling her, about 3 months ago... she took it well and said she felt her children were not in danger.
    i left it alone.
    so on tuesday 4 cops show up with a search warrant from the federal police. he has child exploitation charges against him.
    and my sister is still sticking up for him.
    he is a sick bastard. and this is fucked.

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