Well ..... here goes... im prude hahaha yeup . and, its particially because i HATE doing anything more then kissing and its my ex boyfriend's fault. we only went out for like 4 months and i hated to even see him because every 2 seconds he would shove my hand down his pants or make me give him head and it was everywhere we went, even sitting at the front doors to a mall... and i dont want to have to be in a relationship like that ever ever ever again. I feel like if i give in and do anything else with a guy that its going to happen all over again. I just want some advice or something and i want to know if anyone else is in the same situation or anything near it. im sick of being afraid and i want to have sex but i dont want to go through anything like that ever again .
your ex-boyfriend's behaviour is completely unacceptable! don't let another human objectify you that way. sex is sacred. very, very sacred. so many treat it like candy, but it is creation. your power is sacred. don't allow it to be abused.
I can say that you've definitely been traumatized by that piss-ant. I don't blame you for being "prudish". I wouldn't call it that...I would call it protective. He abused you. My ex did that to me, too. Always forcing me to do things. I'd never say I was raped, but definitely abused. You'll find someone (WHEN YOU ARE READY) who will understand why you are so timid when it comes to things like bj's and such. My husband now, I've told him everything that happened with ex, and he knows that he would never even try to pressure me into doing something I'm not comfortable with. He lets me go at my own pace. Which, is really what everyman should do.
Yeah, sounds like you lack the confidence to say no - how did he "make" you give him head? Did he physically force you, or emotionally bribe you??? If its the first then you need to do something about him, cos he's going to be the same with other girls, if it was emotionally then you need to work on being stronger mentally in your dealings with men, basically learn to say no! Anyway, all you have to do with the majority of men is say what you want and most of them will respect your wishes - and if they don't then just kick them square in the nuts.. This guy sounds like a total prick, but don't let your experience with him put you off men altogether, most of us are totally decent!
I've never been in quite the same situation, but I have dated jackasses that tried to pull that crap on me. My advice -- the FIRST time he tries to pressure you for ANYTHING, dump his ass. I'm not talking about making the first move, cuz if he never tries to kiss you, and you're rather timid, well, will you ever get around to kissing? But if you pull away & he does anything other than be respectful of your feelings, you don't need him. When things are ready to progress beyond kissing, if he pushes you for a hand job instead of trying to pleasure you, he is probably a selfish partner & you don't need to waste your time on that. Sex (not that you're ready for full intercourse, but I'm including foreplay here) is a million times better when both people want to make the other feel good, not when the guy just wants handjobs & head all the time. How on earth did you not bite it off by the second or third month you were with this pathetic excuse for a boy?
