I think I'm too nice. People around me are always trying to take advantage of my good nature and never appreciate what I do for them. Perhaps I have a big ego? Everybody I have ever met have had some selfish motive or the other. I feel very tempted to be 100% selfish and just forget about others. I want to fullfill my desires that I have been supressing for years, yet I fear the law of Karma. The ways of spirituality is not something I feel ready for yet, what should I do?
Selflessness means treating yourself as you would treat others. This works both ways. You wouldn't let someone else be walked over. Don't surpress your desires, better to work out why you desire something. Also there is nothing wrong with following your dreams, just be careful that what you are following is actually your dream. Blessings Sebbi
Are you seeking a reward for your good actions? Yes, well most people are concerned with themselves, they see themselves as an isolated being not connected to others. This is a normal stage of human development. Practice working without concern for results. Maintain your good nature for yourself, not others. This may sound like a contradiction, it sounds selfish to only concern yourself with yourself as it seems to imply that you are not concerned for others. However, the only true influence you can have on others is by example. As you maintain your good nature others will notice. Those that are ready to improve themselvves will follow your example...disregard the others, you can do nothing for them. At the same time be firm. Like a mother to her child you must be loving and unforgiving, each in its proper time. A mother that lets her child take advantage of her spoils the child. Do what you know is right. That's all any of us can do.
Da hell, of course people should seek some sort of social reward for their good actions. It's not unethical to seek appreciation for one's good deeds. Otherwise, whats the difference between the good and the bad? That doesnt necessarily mean they should be rewarded with money or people should applaud them in front of crowded shopping malls. You dont do the "right things" bcuz they are right. Otherwise good and bad had to be self determined, not human-centric. You do the right things bcuz you reward yourself by feeling better OVER PEOPLE THAT DONT DO THE RIGHT THINGS. As an individual, you justify the space you take up in the society. Because everybody wants an honest person by him and not many can afford it, you, as an individual become more valuable with your rare "features". At least, that's why I'm an honest man.
try to be more assertive then. im myself am trying to be a nicer person. but seriously, dont always be so nice and people wont take advantage of it.
The spiritual path is always before us, in front of our nose, within. There are many ways in which to do good. Working on yourself, or for others, each can serve to further the good.
I have the same problem too, sometimes I ask my self "am I stupid?". And answer "yes you are stupid". Brothers kill brothers for a few dimes, fathers rape their children, when a person looks at another he thinks "what can I get from him", when someone leaves a room the remaining people start talking about him/her, when they see someone weak they step on him ..... And in this world dear friend ypu are STUPID just like me. Because you try to help someone when everybody is building barricades for others, you try to give something when everybody is trying to steal, you try to share something when everybody is pure ego.
Having a giving selfless nature is key, but if you are seeking a karmic reward for good actions is that really selfless? The nature of selflessness is bliss and peace, the inner heart is where the giving nature grows from. The reward is in the inner state of being yet it is not a reward because selflessness grows from that state of being, when you become aware of your heart of hearts, you are not just good natured, doing good things, you are good, you are love and light, and bliss and divine or what buddhists call the buddha nature... you help others because you see that they are you, and you see the benifits from blissful compassion as talked about in one of the sutras, compassion feels good, the heart of eternal compassion, the heart cries yes but the tears are recognizing the pain of the world and recognizing the inner peace that resides in your own buddha nature at the same time, laugh with compassion, laugh often, it is important to find balance within, love yourself, find peace within yourself... allow for a desire system, but do not identify with it, sure you desire things, we all do, but don't identify with it, then when you don't get what you desire it doesn't matter, because you are not like i am my desire system, you are not your desire system, go within and figure out who you are. GO within and build a courage, build yourself, heal yourself to heal the world! Then kindness is not something forced, something you do out of karmic fear, it just happens, it flows like a river, and you are washed with the buddha nature. and remember, it moves along, it is gentle, it is a practice, you must have compassion and love for yourself before it goes to others... in loving-kindness meditation that buddhists practice, they stare with themselves, then move on to others, because that compassion and love for you is the base in which you build a giving selfless nature, sounds paradoxical, that is because it is! It is a cosmic joke, it is playful, and it is right! beyond the rational mind! may all beings be safe may all beings be happy may all beings have peace may all beings be free In endless laughter, That which I am
