People Whose Funerals Deserve Low Attendance

Discussion in 'The Whiners' started by Orsino, May 29, 2004.

  1. Orsino

    Orsino Member

    People who complain about the weather.

    People who thank God it's Friday.

    Women too lazy to put the toilet seat down themselves.

    Female comedians who tell jokes about toilet seats being left up.

    Men who leave the toilet seat down and piss on it.

    Men who are too lazy to put the toilet seat up themselves.

    Old people who think they're wise, but are really just as stupid as they were when they were young. (Only now they have a larger repertoire of rationalizations for all the lies they tell themselves.)

    "Vegetarians" who eat fish. (pescetarians)

    Environmentalists with houses.

    People who talk during the movies.

    Women who are mean to men because they know they won't get hit.

    Kids who ham it up to be cute. (If you think that little George Bush of yours doesn't know exactly what he's doing, you oughta be the one in the diapers, you dumb shit.)

    Adults who goad on intentionally cute kids because they get off on seeing kids trying to impress them. (I.e., power-lusting asses who want kids to grow up psychologically dependent on the approval of others.)

    Bicycle messengers who think it's ok to ride down a one-way street in the wrong direction and give pedestrians heart attacks, just because their vehicle doesn't have a motor. (If anyone whacks you in the head with a crowbar and knocks that bag of Chinese food out of your hands, don't expect an ambulance anytime soon.)

    Employees who chat to each other obliviously while long lines of customers wait for them. (Then have the nerve to talk to all their friends about how annoying customers are.)

    Any employee that gives you the impression that they resent you for the inconvenience of making them contract their muscles, breathe, and earn the paycheck that enables them to continue living their pathetic fucking life.

    Any waiter with a bad attitude because of their job. (you know.. you can quit if you don't like it)

    People who take elevators to go one floor. If you do this, you damn well better be limping or on wheels. If not when you get on, then at least when you get off. (And if you need help satisfying the handicapped requirement, the rest of us will be more than happy to help you out.)

    People who take up two seats on a crowded bus.

    Technophobes with websites.

    Men who hate small dogs. (Four words: Get a penis!)
  2. flowerchild17

    flowerchild17 I practice safe sax.

    I dont really see the point of this... Get a life man, if you have nothing better to do with your time than to think that shit up....
  3. Orsino

    Orsino Member

    Yet.. full of logical reasoning and reality.
  4. pandiebeer

    pandiebeer Member

    I read that thinking names of people I know who are just like some of those. Men who leave the toilet seat down and piss on it, employees who chat to each other obliviously while long lines of customers wait for them, kids who ham it up to be cute, adults who goad on intentionally cute kids because they get off on seeing kids trying to impress them, those ones REALLY stick out and are really paired up with people I know.
  5. acetonephish

    acetonephish lickage

    i hate it when people talk about how someone else shouldn't be hateful, yet they preach about their message in SUCH A HATEFUL WAY.
  6. kier

    kier I R Baboon

    well isn't that a nice positive post :)

    oh, you missed out preaching

    and i doubt you realise that employees are people too. have you ever spent 10 hours without some sort of entertainment behind a till?

    if you're feeling down, then talk about it, don't start being negative towards others
  7. flowerchild17

    flowerchild17 I practice safe sax.

    very well said!
  8. marymicrogram

    marymicrogram Member

    What an excellent opportunity for us all to demonstrate how we are too holy to take a joke. I can't believe everyone is throwing a fit because it is hateful not to go to someone's funeral because of his or her toilet-seat habits. If this were a serious post advocating not going to the funerals of environmentalists who lived in houses, yes, it would be hateful. But seeing as it was obviously not a serious post: calm yourselves.
  9. Orsino

    Orsino Member

    Hahahaha... I love peoples reactions to this meaningless nonsense.

    OMG... we're all going to die if we laugh at this!

  10. Fractual_

    Fractual_ cosmos factory

    did you write that? :confused:
  11. NotALabel

    NotALabel Member

    Haha...Thanks man, that cheered me up :)

    as did all the reactions, hehe
  12. flowerchild17

    flowerchild17 I practice safe sax.

    I'm basing this on what the OLD OLD Young Hippies was like... full of great, meaningful conversations with great young people. Now it's just petty, meaningless bullshit. I really was looking forward to a new start to this forum, and it's already gone down hill with mindless shit...
  13. PITPAT

    PITPAT Member

    come on guys, just for laughs.
  14. Orsino

    Orsino Member

    Depends on how you see it. It's meaningful to me. We all make a part of it wether you see another or what they do as pro or con. :) I love and can't stand this place so much at the same time I can't see where to begin. If we were all the same people there would be no diversity. Without diversity we're all the same person just in a different body. Yes, a few different personalities but if we were all the same people on here all the time and there was no balance it wouldn't be much of a place, thus being why peace cannot be achieved as there as an equal and opposite (net) reaction and force for every action both mentally and physically.

    ~ George
  15. kier

    kier I R Baboon

    right, sod this, im in a sour as fuck mood

    you are slagging off workers in many industrys....wonder why, is it because you won't have to bloody work? jesus, have you no idea what it is to realise you have to suport yourself? i guess not

    oh, this is funny? is this the stuff that makes you laugh?

    want to know what makes me laugh? sweet things, happy things, not this sick as shit shite

    lighten up? killjoy? this is dark humor, so don't you think asking some of us to lighten up is just a touch cliche?
  16. kier

    kier I R Baboon

    oh and tor, nice personal attack, way to go...
  17. flowerchild17

    flowerchild17 I practice safe sax.

    That's not what I meant AT ALL Tor, and you know it. It's not like I'm trying to get everyone to be the EXACT SAME as they were before, but hey, I think there could me some more half decent conversations up here than mindless bullshit. Seriously... It's good to have jokes here and there dude, but this is just stupid. *sigh* I dont understand how people could find THIS thread amusing. This forum used to be full of great conversations, and there was still some humor on the side! That's how it should be... a good ratio between jokin around and serious, meaningfull posts... not all mindless bullshit like this.

  18. flowerchild17

    flowerchild17 I practice safe sax.

    It probably was directed at ya hun. He didn't mean it in a literal way, just dont take him seriously....
  19. Sunnie

    Sunnie Jes-Jes

    Actually, that's only three.
  20. Orsino

    Orsino Member

    yeah... and someday, i'll play spin the bottle with former presidents and George Bush will have to kiss my ass (mostly mentally, but physically and literally for shits and giggles). Just because a person's ideals are different doesn't mean they aren't full of shit. I respect that.

    ~ George

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