People That Get Married Over and Over..

This is an issue that has bothered me for a very long time. And you all may want to move it but one that I feel compelled to address and I doubt my Facebook friends want me blowing up their feed with this rant.


But people that get married over and over again....young people specifically.

I have a friend I grew up with who is engaged again. She is maybe 22. For the past several years she has been moving from state to state with guys she barely knew. Most of them she meets online. The last one, she married.

I slowly find out what she's married to an abusive meth addict. This past year she finally got out of it, moved back home, went to rehab. She was on a good recovery and doing well. And then things started getting weird again. Just shit talking and negativity. Googly eyed obsession with this lover and that. As I see her Facebook relationship status change every few weeks. Announcing several times the guys blatantly cheating on her or abusing her.

Until she announces today that she's getting married in a few months.

(NOTE: This has all happened over the span of a year and a half)

Maybe it's none of my business but I see this ALOT. I have a hard time understanding it. It upsets me that this generation and the next is becoming like that. And maybe even before mine in some ways. My mother was like that her entire life. Jumping from one bad relationship to another. People can't seem to just enjoy their life as they make it. Why??

I also feel that I don't have much place to talk. I'm 24 and married. I have questioned it in some ways. But marriage isn't easy and if for some reason we didn't work, it would be a long time before I would put myself in that position again. Loves, romances, I feel, are one thing. But the dependency and need for that...such a need that you feel you should legally bind yourself to this person...why? Why do it over and over again? Doing that one time, I get. But once you reach that and go through the shit it takes to either get out of it or make it work...

I don't understand the logic of trusting someone like that, that quickly. I knew my husband for nearly half my life before marrying him. How is it so easy for these people that continue to get harmed right and left? And are aware of that?

And hey, if you've been married multiple times like that and don't regret it, please share here whatever you want to share about it and why you wouldn't have it any differently.

 

It's called need. Some people have it, others don't.

Oh, forgot: never married. Never will.

 

I dont get it. I'm in a long term relationship but I can't bring myself to marry even once.

I understand marriage is sacred to some but if one doesn't view it as sacred, why bother? If someone is on their third marriage it obviously isn't sacred to them so why do they keep doing it?

People are a mystery sometimes

Also, I really can't stand women who jump from bad relationship to bad relationship.

 

Yea, like Meli said... it is super irritating when women jump from one bad relationship to the next....whether they get married every time or not. I had a friend like that that I went to high school with. She's a year younger than me and has already been married and divorced three times and is currently living with a guy, that I feel is abusive-- not in a physical way but in a controlling way. I really don't and can't talk to her anymore because of this because she just can't be gotten through too.

But I don't know... I've been married now for over 12 years myself (first and only marriage... most likely.... because I doubt we would ever not work out...there's always the other reason marriages end-death- so I don't know-in theory I could get married MAYBE one more time in my LIFE if that occured... which is a really weird thing to be sitting here thinking about btw.)

My mom was married once and it didn't work and she never got married again.

I feel like if for some reason my marriage didn't work I'd have no desire to get married again or even be in a relationship again. But that's just me.

And really is someone is the opposite, what's it to me? Nothing. Except I can't really be friends w someone like the girl I mentioned from high school because there is no getting through to them and the frustration isn't worth it.

 

This not just a trend with younger people it also seems to be one with silly old farts as well.

I am assuming that most people who marry numerous times do so with the optimism that the next marriage will be better. Sometimes it is and often it is not. I actually think that second or more marriages are more difficult as we by then tend to come with baggage and prior responsibilities and commitments that sometimes do not end with a divorce decree.

To each their own and if marriage is what they wish to partake in then hopefully it works out for them.

 

Some people just seem to need being around another person. I live alone and am perfectly content with my solitude. I do go out in the world but mostly like my own door and four walls.

 

For years, I felt the same way. If you aren't 1000% sure, why not just live together?

I have a friend who has been married several times. She's tried to explain her thinking to me, but I still don't get it. I can respect being pro-marriage, but I'll respect it more if you're actually good at it.
:leaving:

 

I was married twice, once young and then just a few relationships in between that were serious enough to be together as BF and GF but not to ditch a job or refuse a move out of town for better work and get married to them. I did get married a second time but I don't think I will again.
Mind you in the eyes of government you are married after so long of living together as a couple so its kinda the same, commitment without the ceremony so a wedding is just that, a burn of dollars with a promise. My weddings were cheap and low profile, both, because I am not all about the glamour and cost of doing a big show for others. Actually I don't care to stand in front of big crowds so my first one had four friends and the notary kinda guy and the second had four friends and a notary kind of guy. A couple hundred bucks for the guy in a suit, the food and some booze, and a really good get together afterwards with good friends.
Honestly, after the ceremony I didn't feel any different then I did before except there was a ring I needed to wear to prove it, I guess. I can commit to a relationship while living in two different homes as long as I feel he can. It's really no different from when my first marriage included us both going off for months on end to the Middle East, Jamaica, courses, and even tours the military sent us on for other reasons like a stint to cover a shortage of people or a project that needed people for a few months to complete. A few times we were 6 months apart, once he was gone for six months and shortly after he returned I was gone for three months, but technically, we were married, haha. Only once we were together on a trip they sent us on, Germany for three weeks, now that was cool but it was part of a stint he did in the Middle East.

 

idk...I just worry about what I am doing and not worrying about other people's lives that have nothing to do with me......sometimes, i wish they would just bug out of my life...some people wth all of their judgement calls and interference about many things....

"If you can't help me, then don't hurt me, either...." to quote someone very close to me....my mom.....

 

That's a good policy your mom had. I try not to judge either, if peeps want to get married 8 times then it's good they can spend and enjoy those ceremonies. Me, I just don't want to do it again. It wasn't a bad idea but even my small ones were stressful, I don't do stress well so I don't try to do things that need timing and perfection.
I don't do funerals well either and my family isn't big on them so we don't do them, been to two in my life for good friends and hopefully no others will happen. If anything for me when I go it will be a small family gathering and that's it.

 

Elizabeth Taylor married quite a few times and many times to the same man....lol

anyway.....whatever floats your boat, as they say.......I hope everyone finds true happiness.....and everlasting love....

 

It only bothers me when it's someone like my friend that I knew since we were in jr high... someone who would call me all the time complaining about her relationships and asking me for advice...and never listening to my advice. Otherwise yea, doesn't bother me what other people do in the slightest.

 

Zsa Zsa Gabor is another from that era.

Hollywood celebrities are good to consult with for advice about being a serial divorcee.

http://www.ranker.com/list/celebrities-with-the-most-marriages/general_crack

 

WOW! I often wonder how anyone in Hollywood can stay married. I know what I go through with interference form people. Kudos to the people in Hollywood.....Holy shit....

 

Its more of a trend with silly old farts though isnt it, than young people, and its always been that way.....just none of us really paid attention when we were younger, or really didnt want to know

 

At the top of that list is Bonnie Bakley with ten marriages, the last one being to actor Robert Blake. People may remember that her life ended with a homicide in 2001 that remains unsolved.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonnie_Lee_Bakley

 

You could have something there. Perhaps a hang over from being raised in an era when it was considered "proper" to marry.

 

You live and learn, I guess. :watchplant:

 

As much as I respect that way of thinking, if they really wanted people to "bug out" they wouldn't post every detail on Facebook.

And then text or call me every time they're in a tragedy. They expect everyone to help them but themselves.

So yea, I'd like to disconnect myself from them. Especially when they want praise and congratulations every time they jump into another unhealthy relationship because they found "the one".

 

yeah, most women piss me off too..