People at college/typical girls

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You let people get under your skin way too easily.

 

from my observation, you sound a bit paranoid....sound like the way I feel when Im stoned in public. I feel like everyone's looking at me and talking about me....its only 'cuz Im high. I think you are blowing this out of proportion. I wouldnt let it get to you so much! Its probably nothing at all.

 

No one can make you feel small, only you can allow that reaction in you with regards to anything anyone says or does. You own the reaction.

You appear to have some real time issues and I honestly think you need professional help to deal with these.

Your posts are numerous and basically very much the same as in issues.

Perhaps you need some help to deal with how you deal with it.

Wishing you healing.

 

Maybe these folk are being as judgmental of you as you are of them. Especially the ladies. You get what you give.

 

Dude:

Your on a hippie web site. My hippie attitude is to minimise the ego.
To look for internal rather than superficial atributes in peers.

To allow the sometimes agressive moves of others just wash right off my
back cause I'm in with my people and some stranger isnt going to weigh-in
heavy with me.

I'm not intersted in projecting any image. Except as a good worker and to serve the clients at the firm.

Perhaps though because i'm married and settled for so long I fail to
understand the importance of place and social standing for a young man.

Stay in school, focus on career and proffesion. Once established in your field
you will come into your own as a person of consequence.
Earning the respect of your profesional peers is more satisfing
than that of some stranger at a doorway.
Earning the confidence of a paying client is the very purpose
of profesional life itself

Do not allow life's distractions to de-rail your quest for profesional advancement.

 

Chris, I don't really understand what you are looking for or what you really want.

 

You seem to look to others too much for approval. Who cares what others think of you? If you don't smile and laugh in public for no reason because you're affraid of being judged, mabey you need to look inside and figure out why you are so worried about others opinions. Remember what Larry Flint said: Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and most of them stink.

 

You sound a bit paranoid. Most people are locked up in their own little worlds, don't take it personally.

 

dude, you really need to get over yourself. You may think you have problems. You may not like your face or whatever... many people go through this at least once in their lives. But you have to realize that physical looks aren't important even if you were ugly. Personally, I can't see ugliness anymore because I've come to these realizations myself. I was in your position once. Hated people, hated the way I acted towards myself, beat myself up over my appearance... But you will realize that Beauty exists in the soul not in the flesh shell. And that's not just something ugly people say. This is called maturity.

One day you will meet the girl that can see the depth of your soul and not judge you based on your appearance. And you will be glad because every other person who judged you before will become unimportant. The ego will die in a sense and you will be happy with yourself.

The grass is always greener, though. You are every bit as equal to the beautiful people in the world. Maybe some of these people act the way they do because they feel insecure with themselves? Perhaps half of them can't count change properly... but they have perfect hair... ya know? True Value isn't judged on physical appearances.

But it sounds like you lack confidence also. Especially around the females. Trust me, confidence is 10x sexier than anything on your face. Just try to be real with yourselves and others more often. Do activities you like and think about things, try to find out who you really are. This sounds like an identity problem. Who are you inside? What are your likes and dislikes? Why do you get angry? How can you improve yourself? Don't concentrate so much on the negative aspects of your life... And don't bitch so much. Kids in Africa are starving to death today. Many of them would give up their legs for the blessings you possess. Or maybe even just a meal... think about all the blessings in your life and give thanks for what you have. You could be a lot worse off and have a lot more to bitch at.

 

It is your life right? Live for yourself. For example, some guy comes up to a certain Indian guy the other day and tells him he hates Indians, they are smelly and they are stealing good jobs from Americans. listening to this, the Indian guy laughed, and went back and did what he had to do. he is not living for this racist guy, he is living for himself, he does not care about what this other person thinks of him.
Notice that other people are in their own world, they are acting on their own instincts and most of the time it is not about you, it is about their problems.

If some one calls you gay for laughing, it is not your fault, it is his own insecurity.

Again, this is what you think others think. When you stop living for other people and start living for your own happiness and yourself, then you will be happy in personal and professional life.

Success is not limited to good looking people.

If you work hard in life, go to a top position , then that makes you more attractive for women.

Its okay, if you want to talk to people , just go and start a conversation, you have been programmed to think about what other people think of you, hence it will be a tough habit to break.

but you see, most of the time, you don't know what people think of you, you just think you do, and you create problems for yourself through negative pessimistic thinking.

So I know, you are afraid to open up to people because you don't want to get hurt, but don't you see, you are hurting yourself by not talking, by thinking about what judgements they will lay upon you. Stop doing this to yourself.

You are digging a hole for yourself. Stop doing this, and start being happy with who you are and go out there and just talk, if thats what you want to do.

People have the right to be happy, just like you have the right to be happy.

Happiness comes from with in yourself. YOU can only be happy if you want to be.So just be happy man, stop thinking so critically about yourself and others. its not worth the headache. Trust me, i say this through personal experience.

Happiness actually increases life span, increases clearer thinking. You will solve your math problem more easily with a clear happy mind than with a depressed mind.

when you are comfortable with yourself, with full confidence with your self. You don't need other people to listen. You can be happy and do the things you like. yes?

why? if you feel the urge to laugh , just do it. I laugh alot sometimes, so much that people around me laugh seeing me laugh. Laughing releases endorphins, makes you happy. Just do it, be happy. that way you will live a long healthy life, instead of a miserable short one. yes?

 

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Ok, Imma gonna ask 'cause I remember someone mentioning it before and I'm almost in a good enough mood to care.

Chris, do you have Asperger's ? If so, you should be hooking up with a support system to help you along socially instead of ranting on the interweb to people who can't really help you.

 

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Chris - sounds like you are having a nervous breakdown - go see the college psychiatrist right away.

 

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Try seeing a psychologist at school. They have them.

 

Oops, sorry man. I didn't know you had aspergers syndrome. That would explain a lot. You seem to be having a real problem relating to others. I would suggest seeing if you could take some time off. You sound like you are under a lot of stress, and it's affecting you in a really bad way. Take care of yourself or there won't be anyone left to take care of.

 

I did a bit of googling last night and there are a few forums I came across that are specifically for Asperger folk who are attending college. Hook up with these folk. They're likely to give you more helpful advice than any of us ever could and at the very least, you'll get to read about others and maybe learn how they dealt with different situations.

Even the smallest of college's should have a councilor of some type. Now they may or may not be equipped to help you but at the very least you can find out if there are any Asperger workgroups on campus (if your lucky) or if there are any support systems you can use that are off campus. My point here: If they can't help you directly, they can point you in the right direction.

Now I'm curious as to why you were never set up with some sort of social support when you started college. It probably could have saved you a few years of grief. Do you ever tell people about your Aspergers? Are you open about it or is it one of those things that you don't like to talk about because you want to 'have a certain presence'?

Don't be too hard on M. He probably knows that you're trying to look confident and cultivate this 'presence' that you're talking about and his suggesting was meant to be helpful, as walking straight, upright and determined does put out the air of confidence. Appropriate reaction here would either to take it as helpful if you're in a good mood and straighten up or if you're feeling nervous or tired or just having a shitty day, then the reaction should be more ' Yeah...but some day's ya just gotta slouch, ya know? ' That way you're acknowledging his suggesting, you're not getting offended by it and you can let him know to back off politely without anyone getting too upset.

From what you've said, I think you could possibly find a good friend in M. Thinking that he sometimes 'hates or envies' you is probably a misinterpretation of signals. Does he know about the Asperger's?

College Students with Aspergers Yahoo group

 

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