I have been shy all of my life, but now its really getting to me and anxiety has started(socailly) They only way I can seem to escape this is through alcohol. I havn't had a gf since high school, and Im about to turn 21. Any suggestions would be appreciated on how to overcome all of this. Thanks all for reading and may peace be with you all. Shawn
I used to be fantastically shy. I still am ridiculously shy around women to whom I am attrated. Other than that I'm fine though. My problem was that I thought that I was a schmuck. Once I realized that I am completely awsome I wasn't shy anymore. It should be the same for you. Once you realize that you are totally excellent and not at all a schmuck being shy won't be a problem. If you are one of those folks who has lots of fears about being embarrased and doing dumb embarrasing things start thinking through those fears. Whatever they are they are unfounded and useless.
When I was younger, I was shy - I don't know if I'd describe myself as painfully shy, but nowhere near outgoing. Maybe if you can find some likeminded, good people, that will help you.
The Anxiety your Feeling is Due to Reflexive Thought's that you've Trained yourself to Think when in a Social Situation...The Solution is To identify these Thought's as they happen ,be aware of the negative things that can race through your Mind ,they can be thought's of putting yourself down or feeling that your not good enough or that your out of your depth in a certain situation ,or they could just be muddled half thoughts ,but just become aware of them as they happen because it's these distorted thoughts that create the vicous cycle of anxiety ,once you become aware and Deal with these Thoughts and Realise they are not True ,Which take's time and patience you'll start to see an improvement in yourself..but it take's Time ,and Dont avoid social situation's even if you know your going to become anxious ,start small and work your way up...half the battle is facing your fear and anxiety..Good Luck Man ,i know how you feel! ,Remember the alcohol cant help you ,only delay your rehabilitation ,all it is is a cycle of negative thought ,Break it! and be free..it's not impossible by a long shot
How about next time you feel shy you just hold your head up high say to yourself 'I am Shawn and I am great' over and over again untill you being to believe it. It's something I was told to do once when I was younger and shyer...It's always worked for me anyways.
I was very shy when I was a youth.I'm assuming you're shy around girls you're attracted to and not everyone in general (because that would be another issue).The way I learned to become less shy with women(or in your case girls) is by first getting used to talking with women that I wasn't attracted to and that didn't intimidate me.I would talk to any woman that would talk to me.Let's say I could talk to a girl that was a "5" or less.After awhile when I got comfortable with a "5",I would then start talking with 6's or 7's,etc. until I got to be comfortable talking with most women and began to realize that pretty women are like less attractive ones, in general terms, when it comes to conversations.I used this gradual method and got more confident as a result.Good luck! ~peace thru music
The best peice of advise I can give is change something about yourself that you're shy about ... I changed my image completely to something I never thought I would do and that got me right out of my shell. Just basically learn not to give a shit what people think. My shyness was agonisingly bad ... I still get shy but it doesn't bother me too much any more.
Hey, thanks a ton for the advice, and you all are right, I shouldnt care what other people think, and I think that is my main problem, I always feel like Im being judged. Ill take all of your advice and hopefully will see a change in the near future.
well, maybe you aren't as bad as you think - you should try desensitization - I used to be shy, then I got over it by forcing myself to do things that scared me. Mostly going places by myself and talking to strangers. I started with movies and worked my way to Bike Week & Ozzfest... that was a little nerve wracking, all my 'friends' were supposed to go, when it came time to leave they all wanted to know if I had bought any extra tickets - yeah, right!! The whole drive down to the show I kept thinking 'what the hell are you doing, a girl, goin to Ozzfest, ALONE... but I'll tell ya what, once I got in the gate I was so excited and had the best day ever! Everybody was so nice to me, and if anybody asked who I was there with I just waved my hand in some direction and told them 'I'm meeting some friends' - which was true! Now I'm obnoxiously NOT shy... and really don't give a damn either. I'm having way more fun!
ok, here's a weird solution that I found helped me get over my shyness: Start going out and doing things on your own I found walks in the country were always a good one. generally when I was going through my shy period I just sat at home watching TV or playing on the computer which completely turns the brain off and stops it reacting to things the same was it would if it were used often. Now I'm not saying that a walk in the country will make you use your brain, it'll just make it addle in a different way which is a lot more positive, and you get a bit more fit at the same time...
To add to my previous post,the goal is to become comfortable around women and the steps are similar for learning to overcome most fears, I think.You do it a little at a time until you've faced the fear and conquered it. ~peace
