Orgasm during rape

So I wanted to ask this on a forum where I didnt know anyone to get open responses.

To cut a long story short, I was raped 2 years ago by a boy. During the rape I orgasmed. I had a hard time dealing with this and coming to terms with it, and its changed my life a lot.
The part I struggle to get over, apart from the actualy rape itself, is whether it meant I enjoyed it or not and why it actually happened in the first place?? I certainly didnt enjoy it in the mental sense, but part of me must have done.

Has anyone got any light to shed on this, or is it just me? Sorry for the heavy thread, feel free to move on if its too much.

 

I honestly think you need to talk to a counselor about this.


Wish you the best

 

your vagina responded to penetration , not necessary emotional response ..
While you may and do feel violated. this happens to millions of Men and Women everyday, therefore you are not alone. You should seek some professional counseling.

It happened because the male had no respect for women or himself. but if you could press charges, It may be something that you dont want to experience again, whether it be a court room confronting the attacker. Aswell the court process will not really give you closure. If he did go to Jail. I doubt that he would have a hard time, other than the time he was taking up in jail and wouldnt feel very remorseful.

Time for you to move on. Maybe find someone that loves you and not focus on such incidences of the past. The more you focus on the new, the later will dissolve. This may not be an easy task.. But find value in yourself. And if it helps, think the man raped you because your a desirable women and not a piece of trash.. Change your mind and change yourself..

GOOD LUCK.. :love:

 

if you didn't enjoy it, you didn't enjoy it.

agree with the advice on counciling

 

I'm sorry to hear that you were raped, Sqriffiths. But you needn't feel guilty about the orgasm bit. The body often responds to physical stimulation independently of what you are feeling emotionally. I've heard of this happening to other women who've been raped as well.

I don't agree with the last part of Orison's post, though. I think rapists see all women as trash. It's an expression of misogyny.

 

Rape is a crime of violence, the sexual component is not meant for pleasure but for humiliation and control. I agree that you (OP) should seek help (therapy, support group, etc) so that you can understand that you have done nothing wrong. Your body responded out of fear and stimulation, not because you were aroused.

OP, please talk to someone (you can PM me if you need someone to talk to, or need help finding a support group in your area). Do not keep berating yourself because your body responded to something that you had no control over. Orgasm during rape is not uncommon. (You can google your thread title to see what I am referring to.) It does not, in any way, mean that the you enjoyed it. It was a physical response to an adrenaline rush and stimulation, not sexual arousal.

~~~
As for orison's comment "think the man raped you because your a desirable women and not a piece of trash." I disagree. Telling a woman 'ya got raped because you're beautiful' is not the best idea, and actually puts some of the 'blame' back onto the victim. While I understand that it was meant to be supportive, unfortunately it can (and does) have a negative impact on rape victims. Telling someone 'he did it because you're beautiful' can make the woman hate her physical appearance.

OP, tell youself that the rapist is an asshole that used fear and intimidation to take what he wanted...do not take the blame for his sick mind.

 

Agreed. I'm a bit disturbed that anyone would hold the attitude that only "desireable women" can be raped. That in itself is a very misogynist comment, although I'm sure it was not intended to be so. It's insulting to both those women who would be deemed physically attractive by the masses, and also to those who wouldn't be.

 

Im sorry I have a COCK .. maybe I shouldnt have answered at all..

keep letting yourself feel like a victim.. Listing to other rape victim women..
Common misconception that all women feel like trash after being raped.. Maybe you all need to remember the human being is a fucking animal!!! And not everyone has Morals and its more likely youll get raped buy some religious fucker anyways!!

Good DAY!

 

Note the portion in bold. The critical comments put words into his mouth that he didn't say.

He's trying to help. Step off.

 

Thank you for your responses, I guess the advice is to speak to someone about it. But its harder than you would imagine. Doing it in a faceless way on the internet is easier, face to face with someone would be traumatic I think.

Thank you again

 

He said "if it helps", and some (including me) just mentioned those comments where very unlikely to help, and could in fact do the complete opposite. I also stated that although I did find his comment to be misogynistic, I didn't think he intended it to be so. Nobody put words into his mouth. Just because he was trying to be helpful, that doesn't somehow erase the nature of the comment he made. I criticised what he said whilst also acknowledging that he was trying to help.

 

To all those trying to disconnect rape from sexual desire....

WHY the fuck would ANYONE do that if not for sexual desire? Maybe crude, sick, pathetic desire, but still, desire.

So yeah, OP is obviously desirable-this does not place blame on OP, at all. It's no better to have been raped and ugly than raped and beautiful, don't listen to people who tell you what you should tell yourself, as though you're deluding/convincing yourself.

Sex makes orgasms, this sounds like the reverse of the "it couldn't have been rape if he had an erection/orgasm" argument. People like sex, down to a subconscious/physical level-it doesn't mean that you liked being raped if you responded to sex, it just means that you're sexually healthy.

 

If you don't feel comfortable talking to someone face to face, there are several online support groups. (As I said, you can PM me if you feel the need to talk to someone, or need help finding someone to talk to.)

 

you might want to check out this

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)
Phone: 800.656.HOPE, Ext. 1 (800.656.4673, Ext. 1)
Who They Help: Rape and incest victims, media, policymakers, concerned individuals

or like His Eden said, there may be some on-line support groups out there

 

I think that everyone that has posted on this thread has tried to be helpful, which is praiseworthy.

Orison only commented on a perspective that might be helpful, rather than making a statement about what rapists think or their motives.

The perspective that he suggested might not be helpful, but he didn't make any statements about what rapists actually think, or a generalization about victims.

It is certainly valid to criticize the idea that only desirable women can be raped, it's just that Orison didn't say that

These issues are tangential to the subject of the thread, so perhaps we could discuss them on another thread.

Good on everyone for trying to help :sunny:

 

It's very interesting that you had an orgasm. You have been advised here not to feel guilty about having an orgasm because only the body was involved, not the mind. This is obvious rubbish. An orgasm is always a mental experience; it can't happen otherwise. I think you should come to terms with the fact that you enjoyed it. Don't follow the advice to split yourself in two along mind/body lines. Accept that you unconsciously enjoyed it, and try to explore that fact consciously. There is nothing to feel guilty about, many people have similar fantasies. You have also been advised to seek counselling. This can never do any harm, but it is not strictly necessary if you can accept your response to what happened without guilt. Don't listen to feminists or feminist sympathisers on this issue; they have ideological reasons to encourage you to be guilty about your feelings on this.

 

Horace, you're retarded.

There is a difference between a rape fantasy and an actual rape.

The op said nothing about having a rape fantasy, nor did she say that she enjoyed the experience.

 

"I had an orgasm but I did'nt enjoy it."

"I don't harbour a rape fantasy, yet I enjoyed being raped"

To me, those propositions are oxymoronic.

 

Horace, you put two sentences in quotation marks, yet you are not quoting the OP. Here is an actual quote from the OP

The OP makes it explicitly clear that SHE DID NOT ENJOY BEING RAPED.

It is noteworthy that the word "oxymoron" denotes a seeming contradiction rather than a real one.

 

I suppose if I stabbed you in the gut and you had an orgasm then that means you liked it.
i think we should give it a go and see if we can bust that myth