We have been over 8 months 2ghether and we went threw some breakups, but now she kind of told me that things arent the same but she's afraid to end it because she thinks she might regret it.Now i think i should wait a little bit and be distant to c if she'd come around and if not , to brake up with her , and when i do brake up i wanna have the attitude that i dont care to much about her,( even thought i feel like crying when i think im gonna lose her )...At least keep my dignity
What are you being so dignified about? You're losing your girl and the most you can think about is your dignity? I can understand a bit of this. However I was on the opposite end. Please hear me out. I brought up my problems to my partner at the time. He thought that I was breaking up with him. He tried to smile and then leave quietly. I misunderstood his leaving and simply thought he didn't care about me anymore! This made me depressed and sad. Until he called me in a phonecall that was meant to be the last time we would speak because he said he didn't want to hurt me anymore or be where he wasn't wanted. I was shocked and said that was not the case. As you can see, this was a mess. So please just be honest with her. If you feel your dignity is more important, then perhaps... she shouldn't be with you anyway. She also sounds like she isn't sure. I say wait it out, but tell her that you care about her still. But if she needs her space, then so be it and you wont' bother her. You can try taking a break as you mentioned, and give her time. But let her know that it's hurting you too! She owes you an answer unless you prefer just packing your bags and walking away.
wow that sounds immature. No offense but she is already saying she doesn't want to make any sacrfices for you and is just with you because she's afraid there's nothing better-why not leave her because she doesn't like you,r ather than you don't want her to break up with you first. Breaking up with her will save her the effort, it sounds like she's like me and hates breaking up with people. Doing it would be doing her a favor. An byt the way your attitude is not dignified guys crack me up with that...we all see right through it and you end up being so undignified in your efforts to look dignified. Why worry about all that crap and not just be real?
If you have to play games, it's not worth it. It sounds like the two of you have a nasty little mess of a relationship and that you're confusing co-dependence with love (based on having read your other post about this relationship). Frankly, I never get back with an ex. If we break up, it's for a damn good reason that isn't going to go away without some serious work... And breaking up is generally a sign that one or both of you are not willing to put in the effort required. Soooo.... The fact that you've been through several break-ups already in just 8 months tells me already that you're beating a dead horse. Now she's admitting it but is still afraid to walk away... Move on and stop letting her get in the way of you possibly establishing a real relationship.
If you don't want to lose her, work on fixing the problems you two have; don't come on talking about how you want to make it look like you don't care about her. If you care, let her know.
I guess what you said is wise, but do not wait too long. Try not to communicate with her at all during that separation period.
I agree with your opinion. Especially the being distant now part, as it might help with the way she feels. I also agree with not letting her see how much you care about her if you break up. Now I'll read the rest of the thread and see if the sway my opinion.
I agree with dawn sky. it shouldn't be about playing games. Sounds to me like she wants something better but is afraid she won't get you back if things don't work out that way for her. It's called using people.
