open realationships ?/good or bad

Discussion in 'Women's Forum' started by irishkatie69, Apr 17, 2012.

  1. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    I think if both parties are equal minded then open relationships are fantastic. Everybody puts a huge emphasis on sex but for us it's so social and natural, there's no feelings, regret or guilt. It's just fun. Fun with other people. Just.because your partner wants to have sex with someone else isn't such a big deal as many people make it out to be. It's just sex. But maybe this is where our relationship differs, as we are only sexually open, we wouldn't have a 2nd or 3rd girlfriend... Well... Maybe in theory. :p but my love is tied up with one woman and I've put so much into this for nearly 20 years, I highly doubt I'll have those feelings for anybody else. But as far as attraction goes, we'll pursue when necceasary, and we always end up in the same bed together that night with a kiss on the cheek and an armful of each other.
     
  2. You have a bodacious friendship! Wee! :smilecat:
     
  3. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    See I can see if your partner was developing feelings for someone else then that is problematic and detrimental to your own relationship, but if the "open" style was discussed purely for sex.. Shit, Open your bedroom doors, the more the merrier and experiencing a 3som together with your loved one is a great experience and you'll see just how social sex can be without the hangups people think.

    Unless I'm just wired differently, I dunno.
     
    Angela36 likes this.
  4. Si69

    Si69 Senior Member Lifetime Supporter

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    Having been in a similar situation in the past I can understand your view - but sexual desires and attitudes of male and female can be very different. IMHO most women cannot separate sex and emotion whereas most guys can. So for a man satisfying his sexual needs can have much less meaning than for a woman.

    After opening our marriage with another biguy for five months and then being open for the next eight years I can say changing the dynamics will certainly be a game-changer........wherever it goes.

    It sounds as if you play together with different partners sexually. It's a lot harder at a distance when you are not going to bed together every night.

    Hope you can both work something out together; the most important thing is open communication.

    Simon :)
     
  5. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    True. :p
    We do play together most often. Occasionally I've had singular encounters, but she's still there watching haha.

    Nah we are good we are totally fine and accepted for this. I get what you're saying though, long distance must be a different challenge and not something I've ever had to deal with, then obviously there are open relationships where both parties might see someone individually and this is where I was tying up the relationship boundaries. It seems to be in the lower % of people that can tolerate this, so it's understandable that many do not like the concept. I think if your communication is that strong and trustful, it must be a solid relationship foundation and something many would strive for, even without the open status.

    Though it seems some fit more into a polygamist status too where they actually feel emotional connections with several people and while I respect the people who can do that, I certainly cannot, as my heart is tied up all with the one person. I do not have enough heart for anybody else, except my dog... and maybe the rabbits. :p

    I would just feel sad if one side of the relationship felt cheated out, say if one person had a second GF, but your "wife" was single and they spent more time with the GF. See at that point, and I'll be ignorant in saying, I think you need to let go of one for the sake of the other because it seems unfair. Mind you, this is only going from fake reality TV shows I've watched, and TV movie in general.
     
  6. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    What would you call the status of lesbian wives that occasionally have play time with another, but undoubtedly for the most part, always together? It wouldn't be classed as an open relationship to some, nor polygamist. Or are we just having a good time? :D I can say I'm in the driver's seat of it all, I'm like the Devil behind the wheel, and she's riding shotgun for a good time.

    Bunch of mongers if you ask me. :D
     
  7. Jesse49

    Jesse49 Members

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    If your love is strong and you are secure in your relationship then it’s something you may want to discuss. There is always a danger the BF could end up falling for another woman but that’s there at present. If it goes to an open relationship then the ground rule rule for extra sex partners should be keep it to sex and sex only. No romantic dinners etc.
     

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