open realationships ?/good or bad

hi all im katie and im hoping i can get some advice .im 28 and im irish but living in finland for work.my partner is in ireland and we only see each other 3 or 4 times a year now.its been in my head that he would cheat on me in his need for sex and that i should bring up having a open realationship rather than wondering is he cheating on me.but im also afraid that he would find somebody else and leave me.my head is just full of these taughts and i had to tell somebody.

thanks for reading xx

 

Open relationships can work for some people.

It doesn't sound like you are comming from the best headspace for it.

It gives you anxiety that he might "cheat" but it would be fine if you said it was ok first?

You're worried that he might "find someone else"

It sounds like you are coming from a place of insecurity.

Not the best foundation for an open relationship.

I'm not saying it can't work. I mean where your head is at is just where your head is at... it would be a learning experience at the very least.

 

Good for some, bad for most. A lot of people like the idea of an open relationship, but freak out once it's in place. Think about how you would feel if you saw a photo of the guy with another girl hanging all over him. If those feelings bring out jealousy then an open relationship is not for you.

 

thanks for the advice.i think the most difficult part would be bringing it up in conversation.maybe i should just give up my job and move home.

 

My sister's into that polyamory stuff, while I'm married and monogamous. We've had discussions about it before, and honestly, while I don't judge her, it just sounds WAY too overly complicated. Relationships with just one person are complicated enough. Add in some other people and your sacrificing depth for breadth. Love may be unlimited, but time and energy are.

Also, this may not be a very popular opinion, but I don't view sex as a need...not like food and water anyway. It's a psychological need, yes, and shouldn't be denied someone for malicious or manipulative reasons, but if you're in a committed relationship and have a legitimate excuse as to why it can't happen, then that's just how it is. I think if you truly love someone things like that shouldn't matter so much. My husband's away with the army now and I won't see him at all until August, and I'm not thinking of cheating, and trust me, I like sex. I also don't buy into the whole "boys will be boys" excuse.

Anyway, I agree with the other posters--it doesn't really sound like you're coming from the right headspace for it. It doesn't seem like something you actually want, just something you're willing to sacrifice to keep him--something you shouldn't have to sacrifice at all. Whether or not you change jobs is up to you. I don't know how serious you guys are. Wish you the best, though!

 

I have an open relationship sometimes he does get some one else but its more for me then for him. we only follow 2 rules
1. we don't bring them to our home
2. we use condoms.
3. mainly for me and its my own rule I don't drink with them .
it works out for us this don't work out for everyone.

 

bad i think. it makes for distrust/jealousy imho.

 

Thats 3 rules

 

People are sexual creatures to starve an individual of theirs sex for only 3 or 4 times a year is going to be a tough deal. Normally I'd be all for the open relationship as it works for me, but when you aren't seeing someone often to begin with, I thing their going to be replaced eventually.

 

the last one is my own rule something that I choice to do.

 

so they claim. nobody ever wants to act on it though.

 

I do.

 

Open relationships...

God bless if you're into that. Not my thing. So, good if you're both into it; bad otherwise

 

There’s no way it could possibly go wrong.

 

Never been In a relationship that was exclusive.

Never really discussed it was just assumed

 

This something that needs to be discussed as it is something that needs to be agreed with you both .If either of you have jealousy traits then its unlikely to work . There are many happy people out there in a polyamorous relationships but most are just happy in a monogamous relationship.

 

Whatever blows your goat, but Its definitely a game changer.

 

It’s the only way my wife will experience intercourse again because of my issues. How could I say no?

 

good as long as youre not messy

 

Very bad if you're looking for a long term relationship. If not, go for it and have fun!