Only really aroused by clothed girls! Advice greatly appreciated.

Discussion in 'Sexual Health' started by AltoidsAndTabloids, May 13, 2013.

  1. Hey all!

    I'm a 23 year old male with a few issues in the world of sex. I was a fairly late bloomer sexually, and only recently (within the last 2 years) done much with girls. I grew up very morally driven, but also overly-picky (my friends would always tell me I could get any girl I want, and I think that got to my head), which resulted in me spending significantly more time fantasizing and masturbating than actually getting out there and hooking up with girls, even into my very early 20's.

    Now that I'm getting in bed with girls more often, I'm noticing more and more that I'm just simply not that attracted to the naked female body.

    You see, as teenager I never got into porn. I was such an angel growing up that I always avoided it. Of course, I couldn't avoid sexual desires all together, and still fantasized about women and looked at pictures when I masturbated. Only, instead of pictures of naked girls or videos of pornography, I chose girls in skimpy clothing or tights (to this day tights, spandex, pantyhose, etc, are still a huge turn-on for me).

    I guess over the years I grew accustomed to the smooth, clean look of tight clothing on girls. I think for most guys, the clothing is the first layer, then the real arousal begins when she takes it all off. For me it doesn't work like that. When a girl takes her clothes off in front of me, I just get this sense that the "imagination" is gone. There is no more secret, no fantasy, just a naked body.

    It's a real issue, because then I have to fantasize about girls in skimpy clothes to get off, which is incredibly distracting and completely separates me from who I'm with. I wish I could just look at her and be aroused, but it simply doesn't do much for me.

    I've questioned my sexual orientation, but the thought of being with a man in bed isn't any better, and I have no emotional attachment to men at all. My emotional attachment to women is strong, but not so much for the naked body. I really think I've just brainwashed myself over the years by never really exposing myself to that kind of stuff.

    So, what do you guys think. Is this something I can work on? Should I just start forcing myself to masturbate to porn until I become attracted enough to it? Will I simply become more attracted to naked women once I get more sexually experienced?

    I need to do something, because it sucks. I also have general anxiety when it comes to sex, and not being so attracted to the girl definitely throws a bigger wrench into the picture. I love being given oral, but eating a girl out is just not pleasant to me (I do it anyway), and once it gets to that point I just start losing interest. Then the anxiety sets in and I lose my boner, then try so hard to get it back because I don't want to let the girl down, making it even MORE difficult to get hard. This leads to me physically unable to have intercourse (I think this issue is for another thread entirely, but I figured I'd toss it in for context purposes).

    I'm pretty sure a lot of this will probably be fixed over time with more experience, but any input would be wonderful.

    Thanks for reading.
  2. nicknack

    nicknack Member

    I get hard immediately hugging m fuck buddy when we meet up in a bar or wherever, but that same quick response isn't there when I know we're about to get naked. I have though had performance anxiety in the past and this is the reason IMO still having a slight effect.

    You're a late bloomer as was I. Do you feel naturally comfortable when it comes to the act of intercourse? I still feel a disconnect what with it coming later in my youth - which is perhaps part of where the anxiety came from.

    Just some thoughts for you.
  3. Mothman

    Mothman Senior Member

    Shit that sucks. Yeah man try some porn, can't hurt I suppose. Also, maybe get your testosterone checked out. You may have low levels of test. Even the sight of an average looking chick naked is a work of art to me and makes me crazy horny. I'm 36 so you should be way better off than me hormonally I would think. It may not be hormonal but mental instead like you suspect. Figure it out with a doctor's help man, you should be enjoying sex to the point of not having any kind of concerns like that hindering you. It should be natural and something you look forward too. Good luck.
  4. tuesdaystar

    tuesdaystar Interneter

    crotchless body stockings

    problem solved
  5. wobs

    wobs Senior Member

    ohh tuesday!
  6. nz male

    nz male Senior Member

    When I see a nice looking woman, I often wonder what they look like with their clothes removed & what nice figures they might be covering up with some that wear baggy styled clothes. Tight fitting or figure hugging clothes are a big turn on depending on the wearers size etc.
  7. Reverand JC

    Reverand JC Willy Fuckin' Wonka

    Lift the skirt drop the panties problem solved. Cfnm porn is good too by the way.

    Rev J
  8. neel95

    neel95 Guest

    I have somewhat similar issue

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice