One Night Stand

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by nattimorgan, Jan 26, 2005.

  1. nattimorgan

    nattimorgan Member

    "One Night Stand"
    by Garfield N. Morgan

    i
    She watched you sliding down her halls
    She let you slip in, just so you fall down on your face.
    She let you linger inside, just long enough to break.
    She said you are easy to replace.
    Like so many others who chased the dreams
    Between the bore of her needle,
    And her white powder skin.

    ii
    In the morning you discover that she has left
    But then it is too late for you to regret
    That you ever let her kiss your nose;
    Or that you ever let her sink her claws into your veins.
    In the bathroom mirror you realize the change,
    And long for what you became on scaling her highest heights.
    But she never returns a call, after that first night.
     
  2. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

    That sad longing mixed with the condescending tone works well for me. I also like the way this unfolds, precise yet covering a lot of territory. Your use of ambiguity is wonderful… I can pull all kinds of interpretations out of this and all fit so well within the imagery. You could probably do a little tightening up on the flow by cutting some of the unnecessary parts out, but overall this was another fantastic offering by you. Thanks for sharing it!
     
  3. nattimorgan

    nattimorgan Member

    Thank you for taking time out to read my poem and for the insight Fulmah.

    I am very grateful. I will bear your suggestions in mind.

    Blessed Love and Nuff Respect.
     
  4. Hippievixen

    Hippievixen Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    i've never had anyone get up and leave me in the night... i'm never the leavee, although i have been the 'leaver.'

    *giggle*

    i loved this poem, bhaskar...

    'Or that you ever let her sink her claws into your veins.
    In the bathroom mirror you realize the change...'

    i have looked in the bathroom mirror and felt the same thing...

    a freaky feeling!
     
  5. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

    I am so naive...is this is about drugs? The 'white powder' of her skin in line 6 sounds like cocaine, as does the bit 'that you ever let her kiss your nose' and the 'or that you ever let her sink her claws into your veins / In the bathroom mirror you realise the change' that sounds like heroin, or something else injected, as with the referrence to 'the bore of her needle' in line 6. This surely is an interesting poem! I understand if you don't want to say what it's about, but if you can say I am intrigued.
     
  6. nattimorgan

    nattimorgan Member

    Be intrigued no more Belle. Thank you all for taking time out to read my poem. It is indeed primarily about drugs. I read once where a part of drug addiction is due to the fact that the addict, tries to recapture the feeling of his/her first high. I felt this was somehow like a one night stand, since that initial feeling never comes back, or "never returns a call".
     
  7. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

    Wow, that's such a powerful subject to write a poem about.
     
  8. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

    ~* I've come back to this a few times. Liked it alot but this line seemed out of place in the overall feeling to me. Sounds elating and intense.

    Or that you ever let her sink her claws into your veins.

    I dunno, just sounded different from what the rest made me feel, Thanks. I enjoyed this alot.
     

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