old fashioned?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by jen910, Jan 4, 2005.

  1. jen910

    jen910 Senior Member

    I always get in the argument with my mother about how a guy should treat a woman when they're dating. She believes that the guy should always pick up the girl when going out, open doors, call everyday, buy gifts, ect.. I on the other hand do not except a phone call everyday, i dont expect him to pick me up when i am able to drive also, and to open my door or pay. Anybody like being old fashioned or like being more independant?
     
  2. Elle

    Elle Senior Member

    I guess I would say I'm more independent than old fashioned. I don't like when a man pays for me. I will let him if he insists but it makes me uncomfortable. I remember I went out with a guy once....he was beyond gorgeous....and when I met him at the door he had roses, he opened doors for me, he insisted to pay for everything....he was a perfect gentleman. And I remember thinking..this guy is too sweet ( i was a little turned off) and I never returned his calls after that. I'm sure there was more to it, but at the time I didnt apprechiate his 'gentlemanness" (if thats not a word, it is now:p). And to this day I think DAMN why did I let that nice guy get away! He was perfect and I brushed him off! But all in all, I like to do my own driving, pay my own way, open my own doors, and as far as a call goes everyday, I think those sorts of things work themselves out. I dont expect a call or not expect a call, the communication will just happen naturally or it wont happen at all. I am old fashioned about the physical stuff though. I do expect that a guy will respect that I wont be getting physical with someone I'm just seeing casually, or just getting to know. And if they are turned off by that then they are not someone I want to get to know anyway. And it's usually a good way for me to tell what kind of a guy they are and if I want to continue seeing them. But for the most part, I'm not much of a "dater", every relationship I've ever been in has always just kind of happened naturally and there was no real "dating" involved. They all just seemed to progress very quickly. Usually the guys that I have gone on official dates with are the same guys who I never wanted to see again.:rolleyes:
     
  3. gertie

    gertie Senior Member

    i like being the equal of the person i'm dating. otherwise i feel like i'm being put in an odd position, as well as a lower type position. plus with some guys these "old fashioned dating rules" in our more high tech can come off kind of suffactaing to someone like myself. i personally think the chick can call sometimes, pay at times, even (heaven forbid by some idividuals) open the occassional door for someone. most guys i know are not threatened by this and if they are, then they aren't for me.
     
  4. squawkers7

    squawkers7 radical rebel

    Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow
    Don't walk behind me, I may not lead
    Walk beside me and be my friend!

    Whoever walks up to the door first can open it. Whoever has the most gas in their car can do the driving.
     
  5. I prefer being an equal in a relationship. I pay tommorow, you pay today, I'll drive today you drive tommorow type of thing.
     
  6. Super_Grrl

    Super_Grrl Crazy love

    I like a combination, it can work itself out. Everyone brings their own values to a relationship, and there has to be room for compromise. :)
     

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