my boyfriend and i dated for 2 years. our relationship was the kind that made everyone sick -- it was just that perfect. i won't even go into how amazing it was because that would take way too long to write out. long story short, something beautiful fell apart recently, the past few months there has been a lot of tension between us for some unknown reason. perhaps because we're both growing up (4 years age difference between us) and tehrefore we are growing our own separate directions.. we didn't talk about the tension, but we both felt it. today i got home from school and there was the most heartbreaking email i've ever seen in my inbox, from my boyfriend.. explaining how he felt the same way i felt and how he has to go his own way. i can't even explain the kind of pain i feel. this was the first person i ever truly loved and honestly envisioned being with forever.. and he envisioned us being that way too. he is as heartbroken as i am, but we both know that breaking up was the right thing to do.. or at least it seems so. but then why does it hurt htis much? oh god.. i seriously need somebody. i can't stop crying, the tears won't stop, i am shaking, i feel like vomiting, i can hardly breathe.. and nothing helps. it has only been a couple of hours since it happened..w hen we talked on the phone we both broke down, neither of us can handle this. i can't escape the feelings either.. my room.. every wall is covered with something from him, every shelf or dresser is covered with things he gave me, my coffeetable is covered in roses from him, my CD player is full of CD's he made for me, i am wearing the ring he gave me as a promise that we would be together forever. i know it sounds so cheesy, so cliche, but we truly felt that way about each other. i am sitting here sobbing like crazy and i can't even see because i am crying so hard.. will this pain ever feel better? i can't imagine my life without him, and i know it's the same for him. i feel like i'll never again find anyone i could possibly love as much as i loved him, and i feel like nobody would ever possibly love me the way he did.. he taught me the meaning of true happiness. he has now also taught me the meaning of true pain. i fucking can't do this. i can't stand this feeling. i have never experienced pain like this.. i truly don't think i am capable of dealing with it.. i would rather die than have to feel this way. i know i sound so dramatic.. but i can't help it.. i truly am hurting so badly. the worst part is is that only time can make it better, and i can't wait for time. please.. if any of you can relate or just have anything to say, please reply.. i really, really need you.