ocean lips

Discussion in 'Writers Forum' started by silvertabby, Mar 8, 2008.

  1. silvertabby

    silvertabby Member

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    There were no tears, nor were there sobs, but it didn’t make it less painful, to stand on the wet sand, to taste the sea. To feel the waves in my back, covering my every step, my every foot print…Nobody would ever know I was here. Nobody would ever know I was so weak to come back here. I couldn’t get over it, nor will I ever. I’ll stay behind, stuck between sand and sea, stuck between memory and dream, between past and future in that dark cold, lonely thing…the present.
    What do you think?
     
  2. dirtydog

    dirtydog Banned

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    You need to give your reader some who/what/where/when/why. Otherwise, your reader won't be able to form a clear image of the story you're trying to tell.
     

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