Numbing and lasting longer

ive been searching around for ways to increase my stamina in sexual experience, at the moment it is at about .00001 and i havent even had sex. ive tried several different methods, as i believe it was cause by over masterbation when i was in my teens learning, i rushed alot out of fear. ive tried pc muscle training and stop and start. this helped a little bit when im going solo (gone from feeling an orgasm 30 secs in to like 2 min) better than nothing. but still when i get a handjob from my gf i struggle to get 15-30 seconds. very embarrassing and she understands but i want to lose my virginity but not if its 1 second long. so i was wondering would numbing cream help this because mayb im very sensitive or would i need to look at something more psychological? if numbing cream could work, im willing to try anyway what is a good over the counter one, mayb even an excuse to buy it haha thanks in advance
im 19 btw and yes i understand im young but like i think its not just to do with inexperience

 

You stamina issue is a common one for men of all experience levels, and especially so for virgins. To be honest, I think its somewhat unreasonable to expect to train yourself to be great in bed and expect to be great at sex on the first go. This is something you need to work with together. If you don't last long enough, its not a huge deal.

Also, it sounds like just need to calm down about the whole thing and let yourself learn what is pleasurable for both of you together. If you sense yourself about to cum, don't freak out. If you do, you do. Pay more attention to how the impending orgasm feels and try to relax. Overtime, you'll be able to get a better sense of your body and how to control it. You just need to go into it without the expectation of anything.

Numbing creams are simply a band-aid...and a marginal one at that. First, they do nothing to change the underlying issue, which is a lack of an ability to sense and control your orgasm. In fact, they do the opposite by not letting you experience your natural sensations and letting you learn to control them. Furthermore, numbing creams can have the unpleasant side effect of making you too numb and not be able to keep an erection. Finally, sex is one of the most pleasurable things out there, why would you want to diminish the sensation if you could learn to control it?

Furthermore, there is a psychological component to you not lasting long enough. The thought of intercourse is very arousing to you(and most everyone) and could lead to pre-mature ejaculation on its own. Think about it, you last longer when masturbating than when your GF gives you a handjob. In reality, your own hand is more physically pleasurable than you GF's HJ because you know exactly which sensations to give yourself, but the psychological aspect of her doing it causes you to lose control sooner.


Cheers

 

Your 19. It sounds like your GF is understanding. Go for the first time and if you last 2 seconds, who cares? It is a compliment to her. 20 minutes later have round 2. You may even be able to go for round 3, or 4 because you are young. Just enjoy. Things will change.

 

yeah but like ive even tried that and it doesnt improve me by much, so im a bit stuck for ideas when most natural methods have not worked. and you say you should enjoy sex, but i find it hard to enjoy it when all im thinking about is to last longer id prefer to be working harder to achieve one then working over time to make one last longer

 

It will work itself out. Just keep at it with her. Once you are really confortable and stop thinking about it all of the time you will probably be OK. She sounds understanding so don't worry about it.

Make sure that you ejacualte often. A full tank will almost always go quicker.

Dumb question. Have you tried condoms? They really deaden the sensitivity.

 

Read this book: " The Multi-Orgasmic Man", which has exercises on how to control yourself, even the right muscles ( the same one you use to stop yourself from peeing) and also some excercises on how to bring up the explosive energies that start to build up down there.
I have seen the book at Barnes and Noble, so check it out. Helped me out

 

take anti-depressants?

take 5htp?

 

Relax and BREATH!!!! You're probably holding your breath since you're uptight.

The 2 best techniques to last longer are breathing deep and switching up your moves.

Let her touch your junk without trying to get you off. You just need to get comfortable and learn to relax when feeling a womans touch.

Check out the book: Male Sexuality

 

Ahisma said: "Numbing creams are simply a band-aid...and a marginal one at that."

My answer is to try one and see what happens. I am also quite sensitive and a numbing agent did help me a lot. You may find that after a while you won't need it any more, so yes it can be thought of as a "band-aid" perhaps.

The trick is not to use too much. You don't slather it on like you do a lube.
If you do you won't feel a thing and probably won't be able to get/stay hard.

Just use a small drop and rub it into the skin of the glans until it becomes dry from being absorbed.

 

I think your expecting too much. Also - the fact that you are concerned about this is doing more harm than good. I think that you should just relax and enjoy yourself.

As long as your getting better and better - why worry.

 

Op since orgasms are triggered by your brain, the cream should supress the feeling part but you still have to deal with emotions, such as girl moaning while your thrusting so you might still orgasm too soon. There's techniques in these forums on how to train your brain to hold back from ejaculation.

 

tugging the balls down usually prevents cumming. another method is to pinch the head of the penis. also, when you're starting out, make sure you're on top. that way, when it starts to feel too good you can just stop until you calm down, then start again. finally, durex makes a condom with numbing lube on it.