It's been almost 2 weeks since the trip I speak of. It yielded more than enough to write about but I was much more drained after the trip due to camping/interstate travel that I had inadequate energy to write and when my energy returned the urgency to write faded a bit and I figured I'd type when I felt like it. I don't intend to write a narrative but just a summary of the events for my own reference. Although this trip was just as meaningful and entertaining, it was much less joyful and love-infused than my first three. The reason for this is because of the challenge of the group dynamic, especially in the case where not everyone is taking acid, which this was. I knew I could trip in any setting, but I hadn't really considered whether I could trip as easily with the constant presence of other people, tripping or not. My primary intention with this trip was to re-introduce a friend to Lucy. I'll call him D and the last time he'd had acid was around 10 years ago as a sixteen year old, and he'd never taken more than one dose and never wanted to. Then I discovered acid just this year and naturally wanted to tell everyone how great it can be, and when I told D about my interactions with the godhead he was highly skeptical and seemed to take me as deceived by the devil. I understood but tried to explain that the god I spoke of is no other than the piece of god inside me, and that a trip is whatever you want it to be and if you want it to be joyful and spiritual, it will be overwhelmingly that. In simpler terms I told him that you leave yourself in a way and it's a proper out-of-body-experience, and no matter how you define god, it can be highly and permanently spiritual. In the end, we both concluded that he wasn't going to grasp what I was saying till he tripped again. The acquisition of the doses was somewhat forced. I had requested 10 doses so I could turn on anyone else who would want it, but our dealer got weird thinking we were going to back out on buying 1/2 a vial and settle for 10 doses. When my friend told me this, I said to go back to him and ask for 4 doses so I could at least get my friend D and myself and that we still fully intend to get the vial later. So he went along with that and I had 4 doses on 2 sugar cubes and flew to Utah. It was hot in Utah, like mid to upper 90's so we wanted to camp high in the mountains where it'd be cool but realized it would be packed with mormon families and since seclusion was more important to us than comfort, we set up camp in the hot desert west of Provo with 4 other people: a couple and two single guys. The spot wasn't too bad; the desert trees were just tall enough to give decent shade for sitting, and in that dry climate 95 degrees is nothing if you stick to the shade. We were on an elevated bench area of a desert valley, and the other foothills offered a singular beauty as a backdrop. I couldn't believe how much less life there was than in the Pacific NW, but that it still radiated sublime beauty. What impressed me most was the silence. I could hear the breeze breathing around me and a cricket here and there, and there would be someone on a dunebuggy or something in the distance. It was sloppy getting to that point, but I couldn't have hand-picked a better setting for a psychedelic, especially since we didn't end up dropping till early evening and the temp was cooling. It started coming on within 30 minutes. My limbs would forget what my mind told them to do and each step I took felt as if it sunk into the ground. D mentioned sensing it also, that things were getting goofy and interesting looking and the horizon looked so inviting he wanted to go hike to it. Our friends had brought a disc golf basket and were moving it to different spots in the desert and would play a hole. I thought that would be a great activity until it kicked in strong but keeping up with the other players and knowing when to throw was too much already. Plus the ground around me was too awesome to walk over it too fast. D also said it was difficult to continue playing disc golf and we petered away as the others continued playing. I wanted to align to whatever D was compelled to do; I really didn't want to be a guide to him and to let him follow his own energies. We walked a little toward the waning sun and found a spot to sit. D lay on the ground and used his backpack as a pillow. He started to describe blending with the earth becoming one with it. This was great to hear and I knew it would set a good tone for the rest of his trip. I wished I could get comfortable; I didn't have anything for a pillow. But I didn't want to tear him from his groove so soon, so I endured sitting up which wasn't so bad except it compresses my sensitive spine and was distracting. I figured he'd want to get up and move on at some point. He did and we headed back to the campsite. Along the way my shadow cut a stunningly dark hole through the sagebrush and seemed like it cut into the earth. It made me remember my other self, who always orchestrates these journeys. I hadn't thought of him till then and wondered what he was going to do with me this time. D said he was going to listen to tunes in the tent so I sat on a camp chair in the shade. I was alone at that point and didn't quite know what to do with my mind. Was anything expected of me? Am I supposed to be with the others or be by myself? What will the energy do and how will I give myself up to it?, etc. I quieted those thoughts and just focused on my existence and my surroundings. After this I noticed a soft sustained noise, a quick staccato pattern like a tiny motor somewhere. i didn't know if it existed or I was manifesting it so I looked around and noticed the couple's black dog sitting behind me on the ground. The noise was his quick panting after running around the desert. I thought "great! I have a friend here." and listened to his breathing. All my surroundings seemed to emanate from the dog's breathing, like they were a projection of the energy source in the dog's throat. The voice of the Source mechanism was being transmitted via the dog, and a brotherhood of breath occurred. The same ebb and flow, yin and yang, contradictory cyclical nature of the godhead was being promulgated through the dog's breathing and he took the role of the creator and myself and all my surroundings were an energetic output of the two opposing forces; in this case the dog's rapid inhaling and exhaling, a tiny motor similitude of the universal one. I found this a very humble scenario for this to be expressed in, but it turned out to be a very humbling trip overall. I'll type again later. I know I said this would just be notes but it doesn't look like it will be, but I can say it will be briefer.
i didnt read your full post, but it sounds like the two of you had a blast! im sure your friend D wants to trip again sometime
The experience you described with the black dog was beautiful, thank you You were very considerate and showed great regard for your friends first trip. Very good, he was lucky to have you along for the ride.
Sounds like a beginning of another beautiful trip! Burnabowl, did you manage to come up to some DMT? I still say you must try DMT on your peak, your mind is beautiful and you need to unlock those doors. Anyway, waiting to read the rest of the trip, keep up a good work!
thanks everyone for posting. yes D thoroughly enjoyed it and appreciated where I was coming from. he wanted to return to normality eight hours or so in, so he could properly mingle with the other campers who weren't tripping. I told him it was a good time to drink a few beers if that's what he wanted. he'll trip again esp. if everyone doses. shifter, regrettably no I haven't invested in making dmt yet. I don't have any real excuses as to why not other than the typical ones (time, money). but we just got rid of our gas guzzler along with its huge lease and insurance payments so I'll focus on that soon. I've never done anything like it so I pry need to study some basic chemistry first. ********** as I continued in my half meditative, half edgy state people trickled back to the campsite (the edginess I speak of was entirely me wanting to share everything with the straight beings and knowing I could not adequately do so). My friend D also sat with the new group and since someone was somehow occupying my previous chair, I chose to sit lotus style on the ground. This was after finding a shady spot 20 feet away and realizing I wasn't near the group, which made them and me laugh. I moved closer and resumed my position. We were all sharing bowls of dank cannabis. The straight ones were obviously looking upon us as a source of amusement, laughing at D's inability to speak normally. I knew they meant well but it was hard to see that we were all just hanging and relaxing. In the back of my mind was the edginess that they were on a fixed plane and D and I were somewhat liquified. Analyzing the members of the group was an unpleasant distraction, and as they laughed at how interested D was in the black dog eating its dinner, I figured he was in good hands and wasn't stressing about the group dynamic the way I was. I continued sitting there and closed my eyes and bobbed my head to a song, probably a tranquil ambient or native american number, since that's what I filled my player with due to the low dose. As I bounced my head I felt my voluntary motions be replaced with involuntary ones. I was being dissolved and a new energy was growing. It seemed to circulate through the members of the group and back through me, making me move without my volition. I felt like I was being manipulated by a snake charmer, that I was being coerced to move to his melodies and dancing in and out of the basket in which I resided. It was a pure and comfortable feeling, not unlike my more complete dissolution into the quantum sea in my last account. I felt like I could somehow stay in this state and provide conduit for a positive energy flow to inundate the other campers. The atmosphere definitely changed when this dissolution occurred. Since I continued my closed eyes I couldn't see ppl's reactions but I knew they were noticing me. The way I was moving must have looked exactly like I was adrift in a sea, treading water or something. It was beautiful and transcendent to me, I just didn't know how the others were taking it. My rational self said not to worry that they were enjoying themselves in spite of me. But I knew I was entering their subconcious energy patterns and didn't know if they liked it or if it bugged them. I knew all but one of the ppl there but we had always been in a lighthearted, intellectual and spiritual free environment, so my knowledge of their inner souls was nearly nonexistent. So in essence I knew what their observed selves were like, the selves that said we're all just here having a good time and to do my psychedelic thing, but it was harder to know what their inner counterparts were like and what they wanted. Also in my state it wasn't really practical to just worry about myself because "myself" was partially a conscious manifestation of the collective souls of all present. I was them in a way and couldn't stay confined in my own skin, as that is contrary to the whole experience. I eventually stood and walked, prolly due to discomfort. The acid was getting pretty strong and I wondered if it was time to lie in the shade on my inflatable air mattress. Before I went there I peed on the designated tree and wondered if these small desert trees lived primarily off the urine of human campers. I also noticed I had pretty much lost my grip on normal reality. Who I was and why I was there were incomprehensible, irrelevant questions. I decided it was definitely a good time to lie down with gentle songs. The mattress was comfortable enough and I had a pillow and proper music, but letting go was a impossibility and I knew not why. It was just hallucinations of weird shit happening around me, not comforting or blissful at all. I eventually realized that this setting would not allow for simple dismissal of self by leaving the group and being alone with songs. I could give complex psychological reasons why, but it doesn't matter. Suffice it to say I was bound to the group and couldn't go off and be with Lucy alone like I'd taken for granted on other trips. So I went back to find the others and they had moved their chairs to a different spot. The sun was closer to setting and I sat and stared at it, speechless. I felt the familiar inferno of energy in my gut and wanted to release it, I just hadn't found the proper medium. I tried to explain to the girl sitting next to me how amazing the sunset was, but what came out was incoherent. I tried somthing more normal, like "so what have you guys been doing?" and she said playing disc golf. So that didn't go anywhere. I felt like I could use more weed, but the thoughts of getting D to get the stash was too much, so I just asked this girl if she'd help me and smoke me up. She happily complied; we were mostly just matching bowls back and forth anyway. I felt so nourished and uplifted not only by the succulent potsmoke but by the warmness and generosity of the girl. I told her I'd be more coherent in a couple of hours and wandered away again, looking for more of a love breakthrough, which seems absurd to me now. I guess at the time I wanted to be with the group but didn't want to have them see a near-comatose acidhead sitting there swaying with tears pouring. I decided on a midway point, halfway between the group and my mattress, to stand and let the enrgy do its thing. But the energy still felt obstructed. I wondered if I should give my wife and kids a call. So not moving I tried to get a hold of them which was difficult because service was limited. Once I reached them the call kept dropping so I moved to a spot away from trees and got much better service. I just wanted to tell I her I loved her as she said she's always surprised when i'm tripping with friends to call her and tell her that and how the trip always seems to come back to her. She said my 2.5 year old girl was asking where I was and whether I went to work even though I haven't had a job in a couple years. All I had told her is that I was going on an airplane because she knew what that was. So when she was wondering where I was my wife took her outside and pointed to a plane in the sky and pointed at it, saying "there's daddy!" After that her mood turned around and she seemed to have an idea of where I was. As my wife told me all this I happened to be noticing a lone plane in the sky and it helped link me to my daughter in the same way. I had been confused just like her and we both needed a device like that to feel connected again. It was incredibly tender and heartwarming and the tears started falling, but not wanting to look like a boob I held most of them back. About this time I noticed my tripping friend D and he looked fine and had a funky disconnected smile on his face. I held out my free arm and he came next to me and though it was great to form a conduit with him and my wife on the phone, I still felt the presence of the other campers in their fixed, embodied selves. I didn't want to leave them out even if they weren't psychedelicized. Plus it was getting dark and they had lit a fire to start cooking and that setting was incredibly inviting. D and I decided we were sane enough to join them. My one obstacle was finding a chair to sit on since sitting on the ground ended up being painful. D brought a chair for me but in this setting everything was sorta common property. I decided to sit on the little kid chair, which was brought accidentally by the couple. Everyone laughed when she had pulled it out of its canvas bag and I had soberly suggested it be the bitch chair and whatever items we associated with bitchiness we would place on the chair. Well I ended up being the bitch because I sat in it and it was highly comfortable. Since it was a small chair the top of barely reached my mid-back but it happened to be great lumbar support. I felt I could sit there forever. I was the bitch because I complained about back discomfort on the ground but this supported my back despite its size. It was one hilarious piece of irony that I couldn't seem to stop laughing about, which set off a string of other hilarious offerings by the group. I felt I could not give each thing its due amount of laughter, it was all so funny. I was overwhelmed by comedy at that point which was a new and refreshing psychedelic feeling. more later :cheers2:
One of our straight counterparts had cooked meat and veggie kabobs and asked if I wanted to eat. I knew i'd eventually need food, but I was pretty much peaking and knew meat was too much, but ate a veggie kabob. The warmth of the tomatos and peppers was comforting and my body was grateful for the nutrients. I felt more connected to the group after eating because in a way we were all tuning into a common frequency: the one the food provided. We were all re-building ourselves with the same common materials. I was actually able to understand everyone, but responding was difficult. After eating I figured it'd be best to allow the stereo music to dissect me since I was peaking and needed to give my normal self up. The headphones hadn't worked before because I was bound to the group and to shut out their music for my own produced bad vibes. It was much better to partake of the music that they were offering. At this moment it happened to be Bob Marley's Is this Love?. The song completely overtook me. I hadn't partied with MArley much on my acid trips but he was monumentally helpful. I could feel and see the wavelengths of the music's frequency and it was pulsing through my blood to the beat. My head was swaying side to side on its own to accomodate these vibes. I felt like the little LCD screen on a stereo that shows the different components of the sound with the bouncing pixellated graph things (sry don't know thier name). As my head rocked side to side, the energy sent my consciousness through my friends. I felt like a bull or buffalo thrashing its head side to side to defeat an enemy, except the intentions weren't malicious and I wasn't doing any of it. The thrashing was through all my friends' conscious egos and the force driving it was the collective spirit of us all unwittingly attempting to coalesce as one, and as the thrashing proceeded, the waste material of ego was displayed in beautiful ribbons of cosmic patterns, more fractal waves coming off each thrust of my head, all in time to the beat of Marley's song, Is this Love? I was certain that this was not enirely a private thing I went through. I was pretty sure that some of the others might have noticed or felt it. This was confirmed when the kid sitting closest to me, although not tripping, said "whoa that was trippy," and got up to do something else. It was unbelievable to me. I had no idea something like that would happen and it was beautiful and scary at the same time. After everyone had eaten it was time for more dank cannabis, and as the same girl as before handed me the pipe and I took a pull, the similar group consciousness feeling occurred. I felt like she was handing me a portion of herself, that she was breathing some of her soul into mine. As I exhaled the smoke it was a feeling of total purity and lack of ego restrictions and I felt totally at one with her and the rest. I remarked on this thing to her and was surprised that it was coherent and she understood. I was ecstatic that I could communicate! I went further and said this bonding with this sacramental herb was programmed into our neurochemistry from thousands of years of gathering around a fire and sharing food and smoke. It takes more than a couple hundred years of overactive industry and materialism to erase it from the blueprints of our souls. One fellow there remarked on how I was able to say something so smart being all psychedelicized. I didn't think it was smart I thought I was stating the obvious.
While we were sitting there a vehicle kept circling around our site. It seemed like it circled us from 200 yards out, then again from 100 yards, and so on. That it was driving around wasn't weird since it was a 4x4 Jeep or old land cruiser and they looked like they were just enjoying off -roading. What was weird is that they seemed to be interested in us. First fears would be cops, but most of the straight-heads were insisting that it was not a cop. Yet they kept circling which bred a whole other brand of fear in me, compounded by the girl saying she was scared. I thought "wtf? and she didn't have acid." My mind produced a very real scenario that they meant to hurt us and other than our numbers we had no way to defend ourselves. I needed confirmation from someone besides the girl that we were okay. Her boyfriend, the Animated one, was joking that he should go up to the jeep and say he was an off-duty cop and that they were disturbing us after hours or something. Then the rest of us chimed in with other possible dialogue about that scenario which made us laugh more and more. Again, I felt I could not laugh hard enough at it. Being overwhelmed by laughter is one of the greatest feelings there is. I'd compare it to the feelings of transcendental love; in both cases I cry. But then the Jeep came right up to our camp, slowed down as it went past and looked at us. the girl and I were just trying to avoid looking back, but everyone else raised their beers and shouted hello, which I thought was a good idea and meekly waved over my shoulder with my back still turned I guess they were just curious about us, possibly looking for girls to hook up with. They stayed nearby for a while, doing 4x4 stuff and they no longer bothered me. In fact I felt a lot of love and appreciation for them for dissolving the walls between our two groups. I thought that it was similar to prehistoric human tribes and how off-putting they might have been to each other with first contact. Some would say that battles ensued, but I don't think so at all. That's something people started doing when they got really concentrated and resources dwindled. With only small numbers of humanoids around, fighting would be the last thing you want to do. Primally, you'd want to join each other to exchange knowledge of resources and techniques and to find mates as well. I think the guys in the Jeep were doing exactly that. The output wouldn't have been knowledge of survival techniques, but similiar in intent. The offroaders weren't the only ones interested in us. There were multitudes of little flying beetle-type bugs. They had gotten more numerous as the sun went down and by the time it was dark and the only light around was our campfire, they were pretty much covering us. We all soaked ourselves in repellent but the effect was negligible. I checked myself for bites but I had none. there were no mosquitoes just these flying little beetle guys. They were searching my clothes for food i guess. A few made it under my shirt and that creeped me out a bit. Most campers there were freakin about them, but since I knew they weren't eating me I didn't care. What did we expect building a huge fire in the middle of nowhere? The bugs didn't have anything better to do. That bugs were present wasn't unusual; what was weird is that it was only this one type of bug concentrated and no other. D said he'd been camping there all his life and he hadn't seen that before. I said "aw fuck it's gotta be global warming then," and everyone agreed. I wish I didn't say it because I totally tripped myself out that the earth was all f'ed up from global warming and the air I was breathing was impure and deficient and it took me 5 minutes or so to remind myself that climate change isn't anything to be afraid of, that all things happen for a reason. After that I was content with the bugs. The Animated one just said if everyone doesn't want bugs they need to wander from the fire. I wandered sometimes because it was a full moon and beautiful in the desert, but I'd go sit by the fire as well and be one with the bugs. As compassionate as a human can be to an animal, it's much harder to do it with bugs, maybe since they don't live very long. But I felt like a bug and it was cool and right, that there were subcultures everywhere and you can be at home anywhere by noticing the similarities that exist between you and even bugs.
By the time the sky was full of dark night my trip took a new course altogether. It had been an erratic and humbling peak checkered with transcendentalism, but now along with the dark came the subdued onset of the comedown. It was a cheerful feeling because I was still in an acid netherworld but could freely associate with the other campers. The Animated one was highly interested in our trip and now that we were more coherent he could do stuff to us. He said he used to eat 10 strips with friends and he had glowsticks for us. He'd attached LED lights to golf frisbees and throw them into the darkness. I had expected to see a trail behind it, but instead I melded with it. I felt like i shot out of the guys hand with the frisbee and could feel it flying and I felt the subtle thud when it landed. I was thankful for that glee-infused melding and tried other forms. I imagined I was seaweed and was dancing in the water depths, totally vulnerable to the ocean currents. I sprawled myself over D's car and the cool of it penetrated to my core. It was the purest feeling I'd had that day. It reminded me of the peak of my second trip in which I was grafted into huge wheels of existence with all humanity. Totally helpless but vital to universal process. I wanted to stay on the car all night but moved on to something else. The Animated one was throwing the glowsticks high up in the as D and I watched them with childlike wonder and jubilance. One almost landed in the fire so he gave it to me. I said that I tend to be a purist and that there's so much more to acid than visuals, but they were all I wanted to do then. He said visuals were his favorite part and reminded me he gave me an unopened glow stick. I retrieved it but had no idea how to open it, let alone activate it. I stared at a while and noticed the girl was sitting next to me. Like I kid I asked her if she could do it for me and when she said yes I was overwhelmed by gratitude and hugged her. i wouldn't have let her go except she needed to make the glowstick work. So that glowstick was a guardian to me the same way my mp3 player normally is. It served as my guide to wander freely and to make it back to the group to partake of their music and spirit. Eventually I thought the glowstick was leaking on me, but figured it was just insect repellent. But then the other campers pointed out that my hand was glowing. I had the glow-jiz on my skin. My first thought was wtf to do; it seemed radioactive or toxic. But when the animated one said it was nontoxic I became totally joyful that my hand was glowing. It was like a gift and I fled the fire to glow in the dark. I cant describe being in the open desert under a full moon with a glowing hand on acid very well so you'll have to imagine it. It was incredible but more so was the fact that the glowstick kept leaking. I thought it was great because I could spray glowing liquid dots on ground. I danced to the music with the glowstick, punctuating certain parts of the song with liquid glowing projectiles. I told D and the Animated one that I was god making the universe and this was my wand and I was distributing pockets of glowing quantum stardust so entities could eventually take an incarnate form. They thought it was hilarious and pretty consistent with someone on acid. I couldnt' believe how much fun it was, but eventually went back to sit with the group around the fire. I thought I'd be able to see millions of stars in the sky, but along with the night came a bunch of clouds. I guess I brought them from Seattle and even though they weren't there during the hot day they would stay through the next day. It wasn't completely overcast so there were stars and with the full moon it appeared a stunning epic journey in the sky. Venus was out and brighter than I'd ever seen her. I could see why early humans thought it was the god of love. The peculiar color seemed to radiate that emotion, and my acid senses picked up outstretched arms coming from under the star. It was all a huge celestial council and made me feel exceptionally small. It was noteworthy that the Moon was a central figure, and all other celestial bodies were in submission to it. It reminded me of my 3rd trip, staring at the poster of Pink Floyds dark side of the moon. In that case the prism was the central figure and was convening heavenly subjects around it, only its subjects were made of the biproduct rainbow material that the central one assimilated from the source material. It made no sense to me that the sky now had this role but accepted it nonetheless. Night time outside on acid is just fuggin cool is all.
People started crashing like flies from all the beer and food, and the Animated one remarked that it was the reason he didn't eat much. So he lasted longer tripping us out but eventually it wound down to me, D and another chill guy named M. He would have been the most enthused to dose had I brought enough doses for all. The day before he said an E tab fell into his lap and he was going to take that when we tripped, but he had forgotten the pill I had to avoid saying too much about it because I didn't know how to sound sympathetic and not flame his frustration. I remembered this kid from before as being way laidback and amiable, but this night he was sullen and kinda drunk. D and I decided we would share the small amount of OC's that we had, b/c we knew M had a taste for them. We didn't even think about the fact that he'd been drinkin but in retrospect it was alright since he had no more than 20 mg's. We just wanted to make the weekend more relishable to make up for his ill fortune. he was actually surprisingly excited about the offer. Since my first L trip I haven't found oc's nearly as appealing and sometimes i forget that it's a very coveted glamour drug. It was really hard to prepare the 3 lines on a plate using the light in the visor of the car, but my acid self managed. the next few were prepared by D and he found it even more difficult, thinking that powder balls were actually solid chunks. I tried telling him it was only because we were working with oc 10's which are less dense than his 40 pill and it was an optical illusion but he didn't seem to understand that and it made me laugh how much he tripped about it, but he was relaxed in no time I always need lots of herb to fuel the contin experience so we sat under the full moon passing bowls and visited the oyster bar in the car a time or two again. that's always beyond blissful-what a great trinity of drugs, those 3 (not to undermine lucy though, she's the greatest of all). Eventually we misplaced the lighter we were using. This wasn't good because i remembered the other campers kept saying they lost their lighters in the dark, too. We used glowsticks and a flashlight to search around for the lighter but all we found was a live scorpion near M's cot. This wouldn't have been scary if I didn't imagine that scorpion had thousands of relatives surrounding us in the dark, but after I looked around and realized this scorpion was about the size of a small matchbox I relaxed and thought it was cool that a scorpion was there. He held still in striking position even after we let it alone for twenty minutes. There was also a bat flying around our area; this was confiirmed by everyone later. that was all great but I was really anxious that we wouldn't find a lighter. It got pretty stressed after a while; we had all this weed and no lighter to smoke it with? out of 6 people who all smoke something? It was too absurd and idiotic to be true. We were totally desparate after a while and woke up the other campers. D had to do it since he knew them better and I told him they wouldn't even remember it the next day anyway. Everyone was awakened to profess they had no lighter to offer :-* we felt like morons. D was acquiescent to the situation and said "let's just forget about it and do some more lines," and I wouldn't have any of that thinking since oc's are worthless to me without weed but at the same time I didn't want them to do it without me. D asked if I had any better suggestions and I said to go to bed and we can see our lighters on the ground in the daylight the next day, and he refused to see that as an option, but i don't remember why. I didn't see our stale mate as an acceptable scenario so I complied with D's proposal, mostly because we wanted to make it fun for M and I didn't want him to be in the middle of our disagreement. So we had some more oc's and sat in the camp chairs next to the firepit. Since I got over myself, I didn't really feel all that lacking for herbage, and even took a couple puffs off M's cigarette. That was alright actually....-wtf??!?! I thought, how do you have a lit cigarette, M? He said he put his cig into the embers of the fire to lite it. I was overwhelmed by gratitude and ecstasy and also extreme confusion as to why we didn't think to use the fire embers. It was quite a lesson in just going with the flow and not trying to apply all my arbitrary demands on each and every situation that comes along. We used M's cigarette to light the bowl that was packed long before then and it was exhilarating to go through that drama, mayhem and frustration and come out the other end ecstatic and united. It was just one instance of humbling irony which was a theme for this trip. The scorpion was still there in his striking position but we wanted the area so I kicked him away as humanely as I could. It was more like I scooped out a ball of sand with my foot that the scorpion rode a few yards away. He was fine we just needed to end that stalemate.
I sorta let this story fade without really finishing it, but for my sake and the sake of my next trip I'll finish it to a more satisfactory degree. D, M, and myself continued chilling, mostly star gazing and chatting though I remember nothing of what was said at this point. The sun started coming up which is always surprising with me coming down. We figured we should probably get some sleep even if it would be a couple hours. I laid on my mattress, but the sunlight was distracting and I couldn't sleep much for the two hours I laid down. By and by the straight campers arose from their tents to smoke bowls and have breakfast, and I thought it'd be better to hang with them than to force unlikely sleep. After starting to walk I noticed I was more fatigued than I can remember ever being. I realized that things were still amplified from the cid, and if tired is what I was then I was going to be transcendently tired. I could remember the details of the preceding day, but forming a decent thought or sentence was out of reach; I was pretty much a zombie. I thought that was too bad since I couldn't talk much to the others on acid and now I couldn't talk to them due to immobilizing fatigue. Now in that circle it's alright to sit and say nothing but in my case that was aberrant behavior; I'm normally highly vocal and rhetorical with them but all I could do was coexist. This whole trip was highlighted with feeble helplessness, which was portended by the fact that I hurt my wrist a couple days before the trip and had to have a brace on with a head full of acid. I could take it off but then the pain would be amplified. All of it had a place and a theme and I have no regrets. Lucy made a strong case to me that I should be more open to being served by others. It started getting hot and it was only noon so the shade wasn't too abundant yet. I had to sit lotus style at the base of a joshua tree to stay cool and after a while compressed my spine. I thought it'd be a great idea to do a self-adjustment with my chiropractic thing called cervical traction. It's basically like gently hanging yourself but the pressure from hanging is applied in a way that stretches the neck and upper back and I can usually get full correction in those areas when I do it, which increases lung capacity and I get an oxygen rush which is quite a high. So I did that from a tree limb and felt alive and refreshed and the Animated one wanted to do it and I said okay but my spine is loose from going to the chiro and to go easy cuz his spine is different. It didn't do much for him and he said he had a problem with his neck that chiro would help with. I told him to go see one, it can be cheaper than you think. Some ominous clouds moved in and I could see lightning flashing, which freaked me out a bit. D said "don't worry it's not going to stab us!" which I found hilarious and still do. He then asked why I was nervous about lightning living in Seattle; doesn't it rain all the time there? I said yeah but it seldom has lightning storms. I can take 40 straight days of rain easily but lightning was not something I like esp. in the comedown period. Along with that came a supercharged downpour, something also relatively alien to someone from the pnw. Plus I was thinking that the lightning could sense my fear energy and would be attracted to me and I'd get "stabbed." We packed up everything and got in the cars to stay dry. I wanted to go out and face the lightning so it would know I had no fear but stopped myself because that wasn't required and the safest place to be in a lightning storm is a car. It was fun to hide in the car and smoke bowls but we eventually decided to leave. I had to get back for a family function with my parents, siblings and most of the extended family. I knew this it'd be okay the day after acid but I didn't anticipate getting no sleep, so it was tough to converse but I managed. I was glad I had been camping since it was easier to play the tired card to explain my despondence. Later in a discussion with my mom about values I brought up psychedelic sacraments and how they've been integral to the spiritual history of most cultures, and can reconnect modern ppl to their indigenous spiritual roots. I could tell she saw sense in what I said, and I could almost see the ego reaction kick in, reminding her of what she's supposed to believe. It always a step forward, another step back with ppl like my parents in that sense. My younger brother and two of three older sisters are hella cool though. I had the same discussion with my brother and he was surprisingly convinced that there was no potential in psych drugs. I asked what he based that on, and he assuredly said "personal experience." I said it's faulty to base it on that and he should look at all experiences; all he can reasonably conclude is that psych drugs don't benefit him. I also told him there was no shamanic precedent in the setting in which he'd tried drugs and those drugs are what you make of them. If you do it in a setting with friends who are just partying to escape accountability then the drugs will compound that fact. If you approach them with respect and intend to improve yourself you very well might. He conceded all of this, as he is quick to recognize viable reasoning. After hangin with the fam, I got back together with most of the friends from the camp and it was great to be normal with them and to confirm that I didn't do or say anything offensive during my trip. Then it got close to the time I needed to catch a plane. I hid my weed in some coffee beans and packed my shit up. My parents were taking me to the airport so I couldn't puff on the way. With my 1 remaining hour I drove to to a small canyon where I'd had many fun times as a teenager but funnily enough never with drugs, only with prudish girls, etc. So I wanted to bless that place with a solo toke session out of an apple, but it was nothing more than smoking a bowl on a mountain. I realized I might have been trying to bring back the past in some way and that doesn't work especially the day after acid So that's it for this account my friends. thanks to anyone who took the time to read it. i know there's much more meaning here to me than to anyone else but I think the patterns are the same for all of us and are just expressed differently. much love; namaste
nice read, I love how you explain the under workings of your trip with distinct and relateable accuracy. Oozing glow sticks, that woulda been awesome. Wicked dude! I enjoyed it. also a present.. http://www.dmt-nexus.com/forum/ - extraction guides and everything you need.
