Hi, hope you can give me some help here. I've been seeing a guy now for about four months and although a lot of our energy went into sexual stuff I thought we had a greater thing going and I was quite happy. Within the last week I found out from a friend that he had been with someone else on a night out when I hadn't been there. When I finished yelling at him, his excuse was that we'd never "officialised" our relationship and so forth he'd thought was able to see other people as he wanted and why hadn't I done the same! This came as a bit of a shock as you can imagine, since at the beginning of the relationship he clearly defined he wanted a serious girlfriend, and I'd become lets say...rather attached to everything about him. Now we both agree that we wanted to go Serious and had never said it, and had let it drag and fester into the mess we've got now. But I resent I have to be the sole organiser of all the reconstruction work in this relationship. I live eighty miles away during summer and its a struggle to see him, especially when I'm not the one with the car. On top of this, I've become ill and I'm unable to have sex at the moment. I feel like such a cripple and that he might not stay around because of the emotions involved with me being ill. Its hard, because we've made up and are making a better go at things, but I can't help feeling like my feelings for him are not the same. Theres probably an easy answer to all this, but my best friend who knows us both says that we're made for each other and should just communicate better from now on. But its so hard at the moment. Advice anyone?
if i were you i wouldnt pursue it. if you back off and he pursues you then you might have a better idea of what he wants. if you back off and he doesnt pursue you.....then you also will have a better idea of things. if you are worried that he might not stick around because you are ill and unable to have sex, then that says alot about what you already know about the relationship. good luck with things
