So ive considered myself straight my whole life, yet ive always noticed that i was drawn to the more masculine side in me. Im not big on girlie type things, i walk like a dude, and ive always DREAMED and wished i was born a man instead.y native culture calls people like me (and gays) "two spirited" and i felt confortable labeling msrlf that because ive always had guy friends over girlfirneds, and dudes think im way chill than most girls. I think like a guy n have opinions towards women like guys. I had a friend in junior high named Danielle and we were close for awhile, and one night we rode the quad and then came inside and sat by the fire. She was the only girl in my life that i felt attracted to romantically and that i wanted to just snuggle and be held by her. I could have swore i felt the same energy coming from her too. But we never acted on anything and it was never awkward or brought up.ately i have been confused about my sexuality, i usually masturbate to lesbian porn and find myself in a trance at how beautiful women can be. The owners ofy work are lesbian and they take special interest in me. My friend molly always looked at me funny n shes gay i think. I find myself trying to say sentences about girlfriends and their boyfriends but i always stutter saying "her girlfri- i mean his boyfriend- i mean" ....i was looking at pics of danielle and my heart instantly hurt n i went back to that cold wi ter night by the woodstove next to her wishing she was in my life, turned on and mesmorized by the thiught of her grabbing my face and kissing me. Ive only had two girl experiences and one of them was with a best friend of mine that had told me sh was bi. We drank whiskey and had fun but i dot remember it being special. Im just super confused, i feel more comfortb Able with the idea of a female soulmate, yet men can turnm me on sometimes too. Im so awkward with men so could i be gay???
You sound very simar to me in many regards. I'm a feminem tom boy, many more male friendships than female etc. I've only recently started to socially call myself gay. I've had my gf since high school and the rest is history but I only had feeling for her so if wasn't sure if I was gay of had found a soul mate. Over the years I grew up and explored sex itself and have done so only wih females. I dunno, guess that makes me gay or something. Anyway you could be like me.. nothing to fear. :2thumbsup:
