Not in The News Today: First Edition

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by Bellfire01, Jan 7, 2005.

  1. Bellfire01

    Bellfire01 I'll say anything

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    Man Impregnates Woman While Freefalling Naked


    A thirty-six year old man has been charged with involuntary sexual assault and misdemeanor property damaged. Johnny Barleycorn was practicing parachute jumping from his native Ohio when a gust of wind and faulty parachute cause him to miss his intended target and land on twenty-three year old Sally Diller while she was nude sunbathing on her yacht. Both Johnny Barleycorn and Sally Diller belong to the "I can see everything from here" naturalist camp located in down town Columbus Ohio. The lawyers on both sides have advised their clients not to comment on the situation but some of the witnesses to the mishap had this to say. "Darn that was a strangeun." "Them freaky people always doin sumptin stoopid." "Land sakes, now I've seen eve'ry thin." "That shore was inneresting but I knows ta keeps my clothes on 'round cheer."
    ________________________
    How is your day going?;)

     
  2. beatlerific

    beatlerific not like other girls

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    haha that's hilarious.. how can he be charged though? it wasn't his fault. pssh. it's like the mcdonald's lady who sued because her coffee burned her.
     
  3. interval_illusion

    interval_illusion Deceased

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    is that even real?
     
  4. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

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    no. it's not.
     
  5. Bellfire01

    Bellfire01 I'll say anything

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    ______________________
    How do you know what they are doing in Ohio lol. ;)
     
  6. Bellfire01

    Bellfire01 I'll say anything

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    _______________________
    I have no idea. ;)
     
  7. Bellfire01

    Bellfire01 I'll say anything

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    It's Ohio so weird things a suppose to happen there. ;)
     
  8. Bellfire01

    Bellfire01 I'll say anything

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    ________
    You are just mad because that would never happen to you. ;)
     
  9. TenCentArcade

    TenCentArcade Banned

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    Hey, look, I can read The Onion too.



    But, really, they say he missed his target? I disagree.
     
  10. Bellfire01

    Bellfire01 I'll say anything

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    ______________________________
    You know, I'm psychic but I didn't realize how much. When I wrote this thing I thought I had made it up from scratch. I've never heard of the Onion except in it's veggie form. (Honestly) I guess there is a disadvantage to being patially psychic.
     
  11. sooty_the_kat

    sooty_the_kat Senior Member

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  12. Bellfire01

    Bellfire01 I'll say anything

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    ______________
    Sooty, I thought the story I wrote was just in my head but apparently someone actually did this for somebody called the onion.
     

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