So I'm just going to jump right in here. I am 26, I came out this year and I am dating a wonderful woman. I am femme... Or more "girl-next-door" type, and I struggle with several things: 1. Invisibility 2. My coming out was simple. I've always had feelings, though never acknowledged them really- but when I finally said "eff it" I'm gonna date a woman, I was totally supported by everyone around me. This somehow feels like I didn't cross the threshold very thoroughly. There was nothing dramatic or monumental...it just happened. I know this would probably be the ideal situation, but it somehow leaves me feeling less-than, because I didn't go through what most people I know, have. 3. Until I started dating my girlfriend, I had always dated men, had crushes on men, and all that jazz. Again, somehow this leaves me feeling inauthentic. I think I didn't start really feeling attracted to women outside of my imagination until I started meeting women who were less femme. I never had crushes on my friends, and the main unrequited crush situations I found myself in were on gay guys rather than straight girls. All of this leaves me feeling like I am somehow not enough, or not being honest or...I don't know what. I would LOVE to hear advice, or even stories of similar experiences so I can maybe feel a little less alone, or inadequate or whatever it is that I am feeling. I'm a big advocate of "you are who you are and that's it" but it just isn't enough right now. Thank you so very much.
Hell, people have been fighting for YEARS to gain the sort of automatic acceptance of gay sexuality that means "coming out" doesn't have to be a tremendous song-and-dance drama. After years of intolerance and bigotry, we're finally making some progress (at least in tolerant Western society). Don't beat yourself up over the fact that nobody's ever beaten you up just because of your sexuality. That would, you know, kinda defeat the object a little bit. Try to look on an easy transition as a blessing, not something to make you feel inadequate. Big hug from me, Becky
