Noah's "Other Family"

Okay....if you don't know this already, my son's dad is an arrogant, selfish, ignorant, conceited, lying, irresponsible asshole. He didn't want the baby....he would call me at 2 in the morning, drunk and crying, at least twice a week while I was pregnant, begging me for an abortion. He'd always say, "I've learned my lesson, " or "You're ruining my life...." I left school to get my GED and save money, but he stayed, so he could represent himself and I couldn't. He denied that the baby even existed for 6 months, then told everyone he thought it was his brother's! I have no idea where he got that from. But as soon as the baby was born, it was like he got a new puppy. It was his little novelty toy that no one else had and he could show off to all his stupid friends.

Anyway, he left for college in Hawaii in August, where his only accomplishments were lining the walls of him room with empty 40 bottles and....well...I can't think of anything else. He sent about $100 a month, never at the same time....he was totally unreliable. But he was gone. And that made me happy.

But I was still stuck with his family back home. His dad is cool. I won't ramble about him. His mother, however, is a different story. She's nice to me, and I guess I like her, but I sense that she would turn on me any second and be my worst enemy. She has been a Christian all of her life, but is engaged to a Jewish man. I am totally respectful of every religion out there, as long as they don't annoy the hell out of me with lectures and conversions, etc..... I was raised Christian, so I consider it my religion and it's what I tell people when they ask me. But these people are so blatant and annoying! I hate it! All the EVER talk about is being Jewish! Nothing else! The first time she met Noah, she was like, "What a nice Jewish name!" and said because he was circumcised (don't hate me!), that he was going to be a good Jewish boy. Her fiance said that Noah was a righteous man ( I heard he was an alcoholic), so they always call him "The Righteous Boy." I HATE IT!!! And Noah's father has never had a unique thought in his life, so he goes along with the whole Jewish thing. He's always saying shit like "That's not kosher!" Like he even knows what that fucking means!!!

Noah is obviously of German descent. My family is German. This kid is fair with blue eyes and white blonde hair...they should be calling him the Arian Prince.... I'm so annoyed and offended by the Jewish thing, not because I hate Jews, but because I don't force my religious beliefs into every tidbit of a conversation that I EVER HAVE WITH ANYONE IN MY LIFE!!!!! I"m going to freak out. I hate to say anything to them, because it's already kind of an uncomfortable relationship....I don't know what to do.

This is really long. Sorry.

 

Also, his father was supposed to come back from Hawaii today, because he feels like we need him to be here for us. We're so much better off without him! He missed his plane because he stayed at the going away party he threw for himself longer than he was supposed to and didn't get there in time, so he'll be here Thursday. Just the thought of this guy makes me want to throw up. And that's when he's thousands of miles away! I can't stand the thought of seeing him again, or Noah having to ever know who he is. I know he deserves it, I guess, but I know that when he grows up and gets to know him, he'll regret it.


I used to be mad at my mom because my dad always told me all these terrible things about her and said she left him....then I found out that he divorced her.... but that was after I took my dad's side and made my mom feel bad all the time about ruining our family. I was really young, though. But as soon as I got older and spent more time with my dad, I knew who my real friend was. But I hate for Noah to have to find out the hard way.....but then, I know that, as long as he doesn't find out for himself, he'll never believe me and everything will always be my fault....

I don't know why I posted all this....I guess I just don't have many folks to talk to here.

 

I think you should say something to Noah's grandmother, she needs to know that it is bothering you, as long as you're civil about it I'm sure she will comply.

And you're totally right about Noah needing to find out about his dad for himself, I know it must've been hard for my mom to not tell me 'your dad is a stupid, conceited, manipulating bastard', but she didn't I found out on my own, and I'm glad I did because there are some things about my dad that I needed in my life and I'm glad I had that, and it really just makes me feel strong to realize that I can deal with my dad, and make my own decisions in spite of his authority over me, I know that he's not what I thought he was and I can be much more free now that I know that. Had my mom told me that I would have resented her, rebeled, and took his side. I know I would have, so let him deal he will be fine, and it will make him a stronger person.

 

Thanks... Yeah....I have a lot more respect for my mom, because she never said anything negative about my dad, except stuff like, "You'll see" or "Wait until your older" every now and then. But my dad would say awful stuff...even when I was like 7... it wasn't fair to me or her. But I'm going to do my best to raise Noah to make good decisions for himself....hopefully...


There's still time for his dad's plane to...uh...you know...cross your fingers...

Well, I hope not the whole plane...there are other people that don't deserve it. I hope he trips on the way off the plane and breaks his neck or something....is that better?? But he'll always be a hero if he dies....that's how it works..

 

LOL, you're a trip!

 

Haha...thanks....the greatest comedians were also the most jaded and depressed people in the world...maybe that's my calling...

 

i guess most women just say, i dont want to see your face, i just want to see your money. i dont understand why youcant do that.

 

I can do without a wimpy $100 a month. I'd rather not see anything that had the tinyest bit of anything to do with him ever again, except for Noah, of course. If the baby is such an inconvenience to him, why doesn't he just disappear and leave us alone? It's not fair to torture us like he does.

 

ahhhh i think the courts will make sure he pays more than that. if not they'll lock him up. the laws are definately in your favor. i know some men who have over a dozen children, and dont have to pay a dime and its because they only date very young hippie girls. i myself have no kids and am celibate not by choice.

 

Awww...I am so glad I have Noah, I just don't want anything else to do with his father. Do any mommas know how to get full custody???

 

Not really, my friend's dad only had to pay $56 a month, and rarely did.

Maybe you should talk to him about getting full custody.

 

I don't want to talk to him...I want to talk to my lawyer....I'm not going to try to do anything through him because he's so manipulative and, when he can't come up with a valid argument (which is pretty much all the time), he just starts with these mean personal insults that I hate. He's so childish.... You just can't reason with him. He's spoiled and self centered and worthless.

 

wow sounds just like all my probs but they are a little different. For full custody u should secretly tape a phone convo of him being a jerk. Its dirty but if hes a bad father it needs to be proven. I did it to croix and noah's dad. I got him to say his name. then the date... then I asked how he wanted to raise them... and had him admit he cant take care of the boys, how he wanted to kidnap them, then how he beat on me a little while I was holding croix then I got all kinds of dirt... anyway point is he doesnt know I have it but he will if he ever trys to get any kind of custody! hes a real fruitcake though, is ur ex?

 

he's not completely insane...and he's never threatened violence...but you never know. my lawyer told me to tape some conversations, but we never really talk and that became illegal in TN last March. Does that mean we can't use it if I ever do get anything? What if I just drug test him or get character witnesses or something....

 

i dont like croix and noahs grandparents because they favor croix which is mean. They constantly rub in that croix looks like them like I'm a piece of dirt or something. They try to spoil him and take him away any chance they can get. I know they say bad things about me which is fine but I don't like when they bring him home with a candy bar hanging out of his mouth and new dirty words to say. He heard his aunt say shit and now he says it. Anyway, they have no respect for my rules. His sister has the nerve to always say noah doesnt look like bray(their dad). and then she trys to start stuff. hes def. his though. I was with that creep for 3 years and no one else so I know what I'm talking about and they try to plant that seed of doubt in his mind. Their dad is a paranoid bi polar/alcholic/druggie/off his meds. He doesnt give me a dime for them and loves his dog over his own childern. he grabbed his dog and not croix once when they were both going in the street. I almost dropped noah trying to save him. anyway, he thinks the world is ending in a few years and constantly is gittering about "babylon" and "babylon burning" and thinks the cops are after him. When I first knew him he wasnt like this, he became this the last couple years. Hes dillusional. yuck, I'm tired of talking about him.

 

That's weird....

Noah's grandparents are always saying he looks like his father. He really doesn't though. He has my blonde hair and blue eyes and fair skin....he hardly looks anything like him. It's like they're just saying that to remind me that he's not all mine to hog or something...they're weird. I hate how they're so subtle about it, though, so I can't really tell if I should be offended or not...Jews...hehe

 

lol this is the funniest part... he believes hes been abducted by aliens and the gov. is after him to read his brain... god hes priceless

 

Oh my god...he's like one of those crazies from the X Files...


Did he ever give your van back???

 

no! he trashed my vw and sold it for parts and KEPT the money....

 

What a dick. I'm losing faith in men...and boys...all the men should be contained to a little island, and we can go pick one out and use him whenever we want babies.....like a pet store or something... We could walk them around on leashes and give them stupid names like Buster and Fluffy...