No sex before marriage

i wonder if anybody here agrees with the idea of No sex before marriage.
and if so, then what constitutes sex?
can you kiss, with tongues?
can you touch each other and do other things, while drawing the line at intercourse, to save it for the honeymoon?


any thoughts on this?
anyone here ever saved sex until after marriage?

 

Just stay away from the belly button and you'll be fine.

 

No, I don't agree with the idea of No sex before marriage. There's no point in waiting, imo, besides what if you find out you're not sexually compatible after you're marrried? I think it's important to see if your partner and you see eye-to-eye on all sex issues. That's just part of getting to know one another.

As to what constitutes sex, it's doing anything with your partner that gives, or potentially could give, your partner an orgasm. This basically pretty much means any contact with his or her sexual organs. Intercourse is just one form of sex. Don't fool yourself into thinking that other forms of sexual contact are not really sex.

 

Another dumb idea.

 

i vowed to no sex before marriage and told my partner that when we first started going out....but....i convinced myself that unless there was penetration by the penis i was still a virgin...and i kinda of still believe that...its just that when you do everything up to that point it makes it a whole lot easier to have sex...i no longer am a virgin because after doing everything else i just took the next step....i personally believe if you want to stay a virgin draw the line after kissing with tongue...that would have been the only way for me.........does any of that make sense

 

i like the idea.
but i'm defining sex in this case as intercourse.

we will kiss
and touch
and experience orgasms together
without intercourse

to me marriage signifies that two bloodlines are joining with the possibility of having children.
two families merging into one.
there is no possibility of children without intercourse.

to me, sacred sex means two people being in exactly the same time/space, as one entity.
and although kissing and touching and orgasms is very close to that, two people cannot occupy the exact same space/time as one being unless they are having intercourse (and simultaneous orgasm).

i think waiting till the honeymoon is perfect, and it definatly means "seeing eye-to-eye on all sex issues"
it requires alot of in depth communication.

long ago i thought "you must have sex before marriage to ensure that you are compatible, or that you can both enjoy each other sexually first to ensure a stable marriage"
but that is a short-sighted attitude, and less the issue.
by exploring ourselves through kissing and touching over a long courtship awaiting marriage, we are definately sure we are compatible, it isn't hard to tell.
and there is a strong element of respect and honor, and it gives a feeling of sacredness or magic to the honeymoon, that others who avoid this method won't experience.

if you have intercourse constantly before marriage, the honeymoon is just going to be an average everyday affair.
and of course, i know all this because i've been married before.
now i'm divorced and have a new partner, who is extra special to me.

 

im sorry, but there is absolutly no point in waiting until your married, but i do believe that you should truley love the person before you have sex with them...sex should be a celebration of love, not just of marriage

 

i vowed and hope not to meet any rediculus people.

 

so you don't see how waiting for penetration would make the honeymoon a special celebration of love?

it requires great skill to find other channels to dispense with the lust.
it requires effort and devotion to hold back for that special celebration day of love.
that is why we're doing it this way.
(its almost like holding back an orgasm until the perfect moment)

we see it as something special and virtuous and powerful, and far from pointless.
although physically we are not virgins, mentally we are.
she is a pure virgin to me, who has never known this kind of love.
and i have never known this kind of love either, because of her purity, mostly, and the purity and innocence she evokes within me.

i'm fishing for a response from someone who can make sense of what i'm saying.

Jack-a-Roe, what you said does make sense.
and we wonder if we can wait until the wedding day.
after all, spiritually we are married thru our love.
but this is bigger than us, it involves our families and the whole world.
the way we met was sort of a miracle, and we feel some divine presence has brought us together for a reason.

 

umm i see no point in waiting just like i see no point in needing to be officialy married
love is love wether or not you have a cerimony or celebration..
i do respect those that choose to denty the physical for a special day whn they celebrate theyre union, but to me if i feel its right, then why deny it?

 

if it feels right then why deny it?

many many reasons.

i use to follow that notion "if it feels good do it"
but it led me into the darkness

just because cocaine might feel good, is no reason to do it.
there is a time and a place for everything.

this is a spiritual thing, beyond physical attraction and beyond emotional love.
it's beyond the trendy majority, and above it.
it's unique and rare, that's the point.

 

well, since I don't really believe in marriage (to me, loving someone and living with them is pretty much the same thing), no, I don't believe in no sex before marriage. I think it's an important part of compatibility in a relationship for me, and I couldn't have a long term relationship without sexual compatibility, which fo rme involves sex. wow that was a run on sentence, but hopefully you know what I mean.

 

So by rationalizing it that way, you can have lots of sex without actually having "sex."

If you're having orgasms, you're having sex. If you were really honest about not wanting to have sex before marriage, you wouldn't be doing any of that touching and having orgasms. Having an orgasm is a result of sexual stimulation. Sexual stimulation is having sex. Come on! Why don't you just admit that fact to yourself and your partner and stop rationalizing and trying to make yourself believe that you're not really having sex?

 

Kind of silly, really. I mean, sex is really no big deal. The physical part that you're staying away from (or rather, skirting around on a minor technicality). The big deal is the emotional stuff that comes from being intimate with someone on a physical level. It's there whether the "penis actually penetrates and doesn't go past the inner labia..." or whatever. You sound like our good ex pres. Bill Clinton, trying to weasel out of the Monica thing. Just enjoy being young and experimenting. That fun goes away too easy. And you won't miss your cherry one bit and I doubt your spouse will either.

 

Good post, FlyingBurritoBro.

Is it sex? I guess that depends on what the meaning of "is" is.

 

I personally waited until marriage. I was 20 when I got married and I am extremely happy that I have only been with one man. I believe it adds another level of trust between us.

 

thanks hillbillygal

benj,
my friend kim has been having sex everyday for ten years, and never had an orgasm, so that ruins your theory- some girls don't climax at all because of sexual dysfunction.

and there is a huge difference between ejaculation inside her or outside her.
maybe we don't want to use condoms or birth control.
and don't want a child out of wedlock.

ihmurria, i follow what you're saying
our marriage will take place as a personal spiritual moment of loving each other and living together
but like i said previously, this isn't just about two people being partners.
it's two families coming together with the possibility of children.
and until its a piece of paper saying we are legally wed, we aren't really married in the eyes of our families.
and because this is our life, maybe we want to choose to have a special honeymoon.
(is that so hard to understand?)

 

I think, Benj, it's not so much about one's definition of having sex, but holding back and honouring what becomes the most intimate sexual act: sexual intercourse. However, they could also decide that the most intimate act would be giving each other handjobs whilst looking each other in the eye... sexual intercourse, symbolically and perhaps instinctually is for some (if not all) the most intimate act. It's not one person serving the other, it's a balanced infusion of ecstasy/love. And, it has consequences (such as a child).
Also, it's about holding back to make that experience all the more richer, and the experience of both people holding back together.. feeling the lust of wanting that one thing that they're waiting to do. Like opening your Christmas presents on Christmas morning, and then waiting until Boxing Day to open your stocking (oh dear... for lack of a better example).

hmmm... feel free to ask for any clarifications. I'm kind of exhausted right now.. I wish I could write that more eloquently :&

 

i wonder if anybody here agrees with the idea of No sex before marriage.
and if so, then what constitutes sex?- Marriage has nothing to do with it. Its if you want children or not and if you can support them.

can you kiss, with tongues?- At your own risk.
can you touch each other and do other things, while drawing the line at intercourse, to save it for the honeymoon?- I would.


any thoughts on this?- Not really
anyone here ever saved sex until after marriage?- I'm 15.

 

telepylus, your example doesn't ruin my "theory" (as you call it) at all. Go back and read what I said.

I'll make it easy for you. Here's an exact quote: