Need Some Serious Help

As the title says im looking for help as I've seemed to have set myself in a tiny little rut. Little about my situation...Im in a relationship with a woman who I love and its been that way for 4 years. Before that Ive been accustomed to watching porn and getting off that way and it carried into the relationship, anytime i didnt get any when i wanted it I usually turned to porn. Eventually, she found out and she wasnt really "raised" to accept porn or even turn the cheek to it so i let go of my little video vixens. The more the years go on the more i realize how much im infatuated by sex..just plain fun sex..pleasing someone..teasing someone..getting someone off. I love it. My issue is..these days Ive been finding myself behind a closed door getting back into porn when i have the chance and sometimes when i see a big cock getting sucked I feel the need to try it. To find someone & just get them off... Now over the past year Ive met up with 2 guys.. first one i blew til he got off..second i just tugged him and he wanted to stop because i wouldnt let him do anything to me. What im concerned about here is I really, really really am NOT attracted to men, faces, bodies, you name it. When it comes to a nice cock though.. i don't seem to mind playing. So i know im not really bi cause i don't even want to be touched by another man (won't even get hard), I'm not into anal play, kissing, cuddling or anything like that ... strictly just getting off. I'm to the point where I just want to stop this all. Its meaningless and leaves me hella confused. But at the same time I'm just trying to grasp the slightest Idea of why Im doing this. There was a few times as a child i did fool around with other boys but it really wasnt shit. So many kids explore. Reading around here i see a lot of guys seem to be mainly curious about cocks... starting to wonder why...help!

 

It looks like that you are not getting your fair share of sex in your relationship. Some people are sexually very positive. The others not so. The past episode with porn did not help very much.

More likely than not, you are experiencing a form of situational homosexuality.

You do not want to get into conflict over watching porn (again). Most likely, the woman you are in relationship with would be very upset if you cheated on her with other women. Hence, you are showing interest in the next best available thing on your personal sexual menu: sex (even if on a very limited scope) with fellow men.

You really want to re-think your present relationship, and try to find the way out of your problems. Cheating with either women or men is not very likely to work in the long run... So, you need a better solution here.

KD

 

Thanks KD..actually resonated quite a bit