Hi there, First of all, I want to apology for my english, I'm not an english native speaker, I hope you guys will understand though, thanks. So here is my situation : I'm a man, 25 y/o, and I have been dating this girl for about 6 months. Everything is great, I like her (she is also 25) and she likes me too. We used to talk a lot, have fun, go out, do things together, but it changed a few weeks ago and I don't know why and I don't know what to do. My gf and I had a normal sexual relationship. We used to do it 4-5 times a week (we don't live together), and I was ok with that. We also tried to experiment new things to spice up things (anal, toys, BDSM....). A few weeks ago, things started to change : we were out having fun in a club, and she asked me to follow her in the bathroom. Story short, she wanted to do it in a stall. She wasn't drunk at all, and I felt a bit weird about that so I refused. We argued a bit and to settle things up, she gave me a BJ instead of sex. Then after that night, every time we met for any reasons, any where, she either wanted to do it, or wanted to give me head, or give me a HJ : at the beach, in public toilets, at home (of course), at a bar, night club, park.... I don't have any problem having sex with her, and never had any major problems with my exs. I don't consider myself excellent at it... I guess I'm average at it ? Not great, not super bad either. Anyway, to sum up : we started to have sex A LOT, when I say a lot I mean 4-5 times a day, sometimes more and it was everydays ! Funny things, she always wants to do things to me. I asked her if instead of her giving me head in the restroom I could do it to her.... she just smiled at me and pulled my pants down. I know it sounds funny and all... I'm sure many guys will say : "dude, you're crazy, she is the perfect gf !" but many things started to change because of that : - we fight more than before. Sometimes I just refuse because the location is not good, and she gets mad at me (ex: we are in a club, we are dancing, there's many people around us, and she starts putting her hand down my pants and rubs my d***. I'm sorry but I can't do that...) - Sometimes, after a few session, I just can't do it anymore, but she insists. And she says that she'll do anything to make me hard again fast. I just tell her that I need a break, like 10-15 mins, that I wanna smoke or drink something, and she gets naughty ideas like sucking me while I smoke and drink so we won't waste time O.O''' - another big problem : I recently have pain coming from my d***. I know it sounds hilarious... but it's true and it freaking hurts ! Three nights ago, we was sleeping over my place, we had sex at night (3 or 4 time) then we went to sleep. In the morning She woke me up and I was tied up to the bed... I thought it was funny and kinky so we did it. Then when I asked her to untie me, she smiled and we ended up having sex for another hour until I started screaming at her.... Here is a description of the last time she was here : she came in the evening, we had sex on the couch. We ate dinner together at my place, she started watching TV, I was doing the dishes. She came over me and gave me head while I was washing dishes... I took a shower after, she joined me and we had sex again... We started watching a movie together at night and we had sex on the couch again... We went to bed, and we had sex 2 more times. When we sleep together she likes to grab my penis... Ok why not ? It might be cute... But she also likes to play with my penis too... And I'm sorry but after a day like this, when I'm laying on my bed ready to sleep and when she starts tickling my penis and balls... I just can't ! Anyway... I tried to talk to her of course, told her my point of view and tries to be nice about it because I don't wanna hurt her feelings. She is a nice and kind girl and I do like her a lot. She just told me that she likes me too and that she can't help it if she gets hot and frisky around me all the time. I try to be as much open minded as I can, so we tried different new things : when I can't anymore we tried to use toys or I just go down on her. We are very honest towards each other so she told me it was good but she wanted me and not stupid toys (I can understand that actually....) So here it is... I'm always tired, at school, at work, and on top of that... my penis hurts 24/7 now... When I get home after a long day, she sometimes surprises me by welcoming me naked or in sexy lingerie, I know it's very sweet and I can't get mad at her for doing that, but my body can't keep going like this.... What should I do ? Is there something wrong with me ?
Part of me really wanted to throw out the whole "first-world problems" remark, but I'm kind of familiar with what you're talking about. The same girlfriend I mentioned in a previous post - the one who I really wasn't that interested in having sex with when I got home from work - started doing something similar. She tried to get me to go all-in in a clothing store fitting room and it was the kind with just a curtain. She got mad, but I told her that all it would take is a kid being outside the curtain and we would both be slapped with felony charges. That stuff is no joke these days. I also had a girl that I slept with a few times that tried to get me to have sex with her in a filthy gas station bathroom on the way to a casino. I'm pretty sure I would have contracted a disease just from whipping it out in that hell hole, but she was also pissed when I said no. She later tried to get me to fuck her in the back of the minivan we were riding in...with her friend and my co-worker in the front seats a few feet away. There was probably a time when I was younger that I would have been okay with that. I think these situations are doubly frustrating because we still WANT to do it...we want the sex part. We just don't want the other environmental crap. I don't know what you can do about the situation besides stand your ground. And tell her that if your dick is about to fall off, you refuse to compromise your own health and well-being just because she's an insatiable fiend. In all honesty, she should consider herself lucky that you're willing to go down on her when your dick hits critical mass instead of just kicking her out of bed or running off to play Call of Duty.
I think she has some insecurity and co-dependency issues. I would advise her to seek counselling. Her behaviour is not normal.
