Hey all.....I'm in need of advice. I'm currently going through a divorce with a man I shared nearly 20 years of my life with. For the last 2 years of our relationship there was no intimacy, no sex....nothing and I tried to make it work...but obviously I gave up and left about 7 months ago. Now what I'd like to know......what is an acceptable amount of time before I start dating again? I know it all comes down to when I'm ready to start, but how soon is too soon? I don't want people to see me as a hussy or anything. This may seem like a stupid question to some but before my husband (who I had been with since I was 19), I had only dated 2 other guys and my high school sweetheart.
Jump right on into the available pool. You have separated from your husband and filed for divorce. There is no time like the present to begin. Believe me when I say this. I have experience with a woman going through divorce many years ago. She took me and showed me what sex was all about. She was going through what you are now. Her circumstances may have been different as her soon to be ex was shagging his secretary. She was seeking revenge and turned to myself to help her along. It was good while it lasted. I found out I wasn't exclusive and was really to young (10 year age difference) to continue the relationship. Anyway she stepped into the dating arena well before the divorce was final. Pissed her ex off. She ended up with her own little stable of boy toys. I think she ended up marrying one. Bottom line is you gotta do what makes you feel good about yourself. Don't be concerned about what others think. One word of caution though. Don't do anything that could be used against you in the divorce proceedings. Otherwise get out there and have some fun.
I think whenever you feel ready then start again. But perhaps before you start think about what you want from your relationships in the future and have a clear idea of what you are looking for. If you're looking for a committed relationship you might want to go abit more slowly to try and find a like minded individual, perhaps take up some hobbies that you might not have had time for in married life and see if you meet anyone with similar interests. As for what other people think of you, sadly people will always judge others to make themselves feel good. As long as you are not hurting anyone, do what you are happy and comfortable with and try not to worry too much about what other people think .
Acceptable for who? If a situation arises why not go for it? Who are you trying to impress? Live life to the fullest. Every tick of the clock puts you closer to the grave. Every day that goes by without doing what you like is a lost day. What the hell are you waiting for?
