Need a tip from YOU! :)

Discussion in 'True Love' started by i_got_life22, Jul 8, 2010.

  1. i_got_life22

    i_got_life22 Member

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    How do you personally cure a completely broken heart... like a totally mangled one. I've been trying and for about a month and a half now I can't get out of the funk. I'm MISERABLE. I'll spare you the emo details, but this is the worst I've ever felt in my entire life and I just want it to go away.

    So, when you're feeling totally down, heartbroken or not, how do you bring yourself up..

    NOTE: drugs and alcohol only work for a little bit, trust me, I've been like wasted for at least half of this month lol I need something besides that kind of advice.
     
  2. The Imaginary Being

    The Imaginary Being PAIN IN ASS Lifetime Supporter

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    Ask master bater. He is very wise :rolleyes:
     
  3. thedope

    thedope glad attention Lifetime Supporter

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  4. lunarverse

    lunarverse The Living End

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    write, read poetry, paint, walk, create, meet someone, share, laugh, love, allow more time to pass, run around in the rain, roll down a hill, go swimming, eat cake, talk to others about the way you feel.
     
  5. real_large

    real_large Member

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    Everything lunar said above, plus TIME.

    Realize when it's hurting you the most that it's a wound trying to heal. And it will heal, but you have to be patient.

    When it happened to me, I also tried to continually remind myself that it was something I would look back on fondly many years hence. The heartbreak would, eventually, become part of who I am and help me to grow a little.

    It's now many years later, and it's true: I'm glad it happened. I'm better for it and even smile about it when it comes to mind. I never would have dreamed, back then, that I'd ever be able to smile about what was so obviously "the end of the world."


    THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH.


    Good luck.

    (BTW: Alcohol won't help. It will only make you more depressed. Unless it gets you laid.)
     
  6. Yeah, time, and a little bit of The IB's advice!
     
  7. joe bloggs

    joe bloggs Member

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  8. wild-flowers

    wild-flowers forever arbitrary

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    Time- lots of it took me 4 years
    Or, convince yourself you don't really love the person- find faults.
    Think about how the one is still out there.
     
  9. SweetBlasphemy

    SweetBlasphemy Senior Member

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    Another vote for time... I know a month and a half seems like a very long time to live with a shattered heart, but it's going to take a little longer than that. It took me a good six months just to take the edge off the sting after a 5 year relationship. It wasn't even a really good relationship, either.

    I know drugs and alcohol can be fun and/or therapeutic but don't come to rely on them too much. Keeping your brain in an altered state while your emotions are trying to get back on track will only hinder the process. I probably could have gotten out of my funk a little sooner had I not drank so much.

    Doing all the suggestions above to distract yourself will help time seem to pass faster. Now is a good time to reach out to your friends and family and take full advantage of all the support you have around you. Take it one day at a time. One day you'll wake up and realize it doesn't hurt quite as much, and the pattern will continue. I know it's hackneyed and cliched but it really is true that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I wouldn't change my past suffering for the world now that I'm the person I am today because of it. Sending good vibes your way.
     
  10. i_got_life22

    i_got_life22 Member

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    you guys are all so sweet! thanks for all of the wonderful advice<3
     
  11. thornandrose

    thornandrose Guest

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    heartache sucks, but the only cure can ever be time. Rationalising how you feel and why you feel it will help, and dwelling on it and inducing tears (just to let it out) will also be of benefit but ultimately it is the passage of time that will take the pain away. Im in the same boat at the moment, I've made myself dwell on it and made sure I've grieved the loss which is after all what it is and now I get on, readjust and hopefully I will stop loving him.

    There must be no resentment or bitterness because this will be haboured forever all the anger (and from your post you sound like there isnt much) must be turned into sadness and you must cry it out properly before you move on. If you can use it as an opportunity to work on yourself and your own self esteem that may also work in your favour.

    all the best xx
     
  12. i_got_life22

    i_got_life22 Member

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    thornandrose you hit the nail on the head.

    i think i really need to start loving myself now before i can continue to love anyone else because this man completely broke me and now i feel like i have nothing which i obviously know is not a good sign. i should be able to stand on my own feet, right? i suppose focusing on myself for a little instead of always catering to someone else wouldn't hurt me.
     
  13. ganjabomber

    ganjabomber Senior Member

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    spiritual revelation? its ranged from a lot of meditation to acid trips to deep talks. its important to accept and realize reality.
     
  14. Mr.Writer

    Mr.Writer Senior Member

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    1.5 months is a blink. a blink. if you really loved them you can expect to be in righteous agony for months and months and maybe years and years.

    there is nothing "you" can do to help it, for "you" are the afflicted and the affliction. It is a bootstrap problem. To exit this condition, it must be fully metabolized. Simply breathe. The pain is as necessary as the pleasure for your growth, swallow the bitter pill and know on some level it is the medicine you must take now in your life.
     
  15. i_got_life22

    i_got_life22 Member

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    you put this in a very different and interesting way. very insightful. i hate that bitter pill, but you're fully right. thank you :)
     
  16. real_large

    real_large Member

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    Righteous agony ... that's a great phrase. You don't call you Mr. Writer for nuthin, do ya?

    Because that is what we feel: We've been wronged and we slouch toward martyrdom. We seek out people who will remind us how wrong that person was for leaving us and not realizing how good we are.

    I know I had to be a pain in the ass to be around when I was in my martyr stage. Thank God I had friends willing to listen to me wallow.

    And hate is not the answer. Hate, according to one of my favorite writers, Lorrie Moore, "is love with no place to go."

    I found that it's not until you reach indifference -- true indifference, without a second thought, without any pang of anger or longing or hatred or even nostalgia -- that you can move on. That takes a long time.

    Then, probably years later, it can become a positive memory. You have grown way beyond it and can look back on it as you would any meaningful part of your life: with appreciation for it as another experience -- further evidence that you have lived and grown.

    Then you can stalk them on Facebook ;).
     
  17. newbie-one

    newbie-one one with the newbiverse

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    don't know the answer to this one, but here's my 2 cents anyway.

    Talking about it might help. You've said you would spare us the details. Maybe you would feel better if you spilled the beans? About the realtionship, how it ended, how you feel now.

    Don't know if this will help or not, but lots of people feel better when they talk things out.

    getting lots of hugs might help. hugs seem to be good in general. not possible for me to give you any real ones at the moment, so here's the electronic version

    :grouphug:

    :)
     

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