I was extremely drunk on Thursday, and talking to two old college friends. For some reason, the conversation shifted to all these commercialised card-buying days. I won't repeat the conversation, because the same things have been discussed here before - how some people act as if one day of buying crap is more important than spreading that through the year, how it should be about showing love to people every day, that sort of thing. I only started to think about it again at work yesterday. I thought how strange it was that some people choose to go with these things, almost literally allocating a few days per year for Happy Things while going through a lifetime that has the Bad Things spread out evenly. Then I had an idea. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to name March the 5th "National Insult Day"! On this day, we all come together to insult and harass our nearest and dearest. We send cards with personal, heartfelt messages such as "fuck you" and "don't come near me again unless you want me to chop your goolies off" to those special people who are too far to be near. We greet strangers in the street with a friendly smile and a "Hello, you utter wanker". We get all the insults and name calling out of the way by the same method that Valentine's seems to be the day for getting all the love and fluffy happiness out. Then everybody can be nice to each other for a change. If this idea takes off, expect "National Being Ill But Having To Go To Work Anyway Day", "National Stubbed Your Toe On A Table Leg Day", "National Crappy Novelty Single Becomes Number One Day" and "National George Bush Is President Day". Allocating a single day to certain events and feelings, leaving the rest of the year free of these things, is the way forward. By the way, my mum is a cardmaker. If any of you want a special Insult Day card for a special person, just PM me. Hallmark can eat scrotum, I'm profiting from this one...
Well I think that's a marvellous idea! I think it could really break down some barriers in our society! For a day anyway. Charvers would especially love it, and with that wouldn't crack anyone who replies, "Cheers, fuckface". And they'd all laugh together. Pats on the back and everything! It'd probably spread really quick, I mean this forum alone has (I dunno really) 40-50 activish members, if everyone here goes for it at least 100 people will get insulted easy. Half of them go off and do it, and aye, everyone knows how that goes...I was just imagining calling my boss a dickhead, and within 10 minutes everybody's a dickhead!
What a brilliant idea, should be made a worldwide thing! Aye, March the 5th it is then... I shall start making cards...
Shut the fuck up you stupid twits..........oh, is it today,.........oh, march 5th. Guess I should read it all first. Never mind.
The only problem is.. this would work with normaly peaceful people .. i manage to insult some one every day and i still feel like insulting more (at the end of the day).. Clearly one day a year would not be enough for some ? If i was pleasnt all year and just had one day then i would probably pop.. i am joking , but only slightly :& . I suppose if the insults were un called for and we were all at it, this might just relieve me and others from having to insult people the other days of the year (i should add most of the time i don't wish to do it , i just do).
