i wrote this because i heard a song that kinda inspired me, i think it sucks like the rest of my work. oh well, life goes on,and on,and on,and on,and on! My suicide now all my thoughts leak out in puddles on the ground, another will but there's no way, i will salvage what i can from the puddle wich i now lay, sit up in bed all night thinking and trying to stay awake. i will be in their mind that day, everyone sees strait through me,so they say, well nobody sees enough to make me stay, they always think that they will speak to me again. all things in my life pass by like water left in the sun, i will be living in my longest dream, bullets fly from the gun and nothing on this earth can make me stay, nothing will hold me down from this day. i will be in your mind that day, you see right through me so you've said, well you dont see enough to make me want to stay, you have always thought you'd speak to me again. every wall you've built for me,the pain always breaks strait through, every word i've spoke to you had different meanings burried deep within, everytime you cannot breathe you'll think of me with no releif, everything you now realize will be too late to open up my eyes that day, it will be too late to open up my eyes that day... you will think of yesterday and make the choice to change.
I used to be able to sound like she does in that one superly-overplayed acoustic song of her's ... My Immortal, or whatever. I can't anymore not really complaining... If telling the truth makes me an asshole, than so be it. If she wants to become a better poet and stop writing crap like this, she really needs to stop listening to Evanescence. It's blunt constructive criticism... people post stuff here so it can be criticized, do they not?
ok...first, what you said is NOT the truth because you have no idea if this girl even listens to evanescence. that being said, simply suggesting she "stop listening to evanescence" is not constructive criticism...it doesnt affect her writing capabilities in the least. in fact, not only was in NOT constructive, but it was blind criticism because you are dismissing the emotion she put into her poetry as over-the-top/dramatic/girly/whatever comes out thru evanescence's songs. and THAT is why you would do better to keep your mouth shut than hurt a 13 yr old with your smartass comments.
if i were to commit suicide, id jump out of an airplane over the caribbean so i would see veuty before i died, and if i didnt suffocate falling, or get crushed when i hit the water, i would certainly get eaten by sharks. but i like life.
I think it's pretty obvious that she does listen to her.. Since I've stopped listening to The Beatles and have been overindulging in VU and Oasis, it's been reflecting in my writing like I never imagined possible... my writing's obviously been getting much better, since Lennon/McCartney weren't all that great. I once read somewhere that the music people listen to influences their writing... it's true. Maybe I'll just stop posting in this forum... haha now I remember why I never did before. If you can't handle the truth, don't post crap.
