my step dad called me a whore

im 19 college student my mom understands that im going to be out of the house alot...but my step dad is completely diff. i have classes 6 days a week..i dont have time for a job, yet he wants me to have one..the other day i was layin in bed cause i didnt feel good..he came home and was like go clean something why are you in bed you can be a whore but you cant clean the house you might as well not even be here...my mom was there..and didnt say nothing except you guys stop it..he has been acting this way for a while now..he kept yellin at me sayin im a slut and a whore adn i dont deserve to live there..so i left i grabed some clothes and left. i just dont kno if i was a bit to harsh for leaving or if it was the right thing cus now my mom is callin me at least 4 times a day crying sayin she wants me back home...what should i do?

 

Fuck him!
With a rusty fucking monkey wrench!
Tell your mom she'd better start acting like a parent and protecting you from this bullshit. You were not harsh. You were driven away. There is no reason for him to judge you like that. You are trying to better yourself with an education so you can get a good, well-paying job and he's belittling you for it. And what does "being a whore" even have to do with not having a job?? Why is he saying this shit anyway?
Is he educated? Doesn't sound like it. Maybe he's jealous. I've seen parents that weren't educated get all pissed off and jealous and think it's unfair when their kids get degrees and become smarter than them.
He's probably trying to keep you under his thumb. People with poor self-esteem are easier to control. Don't buy into it. It's just an attempt to control you.
My advice? Stay in school. Get your degree. Go back home if you have to in order to do this, while staying on guard. Once you have your degree, he can't take it away. His opinion doesn't matter. You're doing something to be proud of. Fuck him. Stick it to him. The best revenge is living well.

 

no he isnt educated actually he is a migrant...and he is only 6 years older then me...my mom married a guy half her age...literly! but ur completly right thanks!!!

 

agreed!

 

Yeah, you're 19 and should be on your own anyway. It sucks your mom doesn't take your side on this though. Sounds like this dude is very controlling. Don't let him control you.

 

coming from a step parent i would never ever in my whole vocbulary use those words in my whole entire life with them even if they were 50. I am going to College as well and can see where your coming from, i DO work and i hardly sleep and when i do sleep i don't sleep too deeply. Do things you want to do not what other people want to do. As for your "step" father hes 6 years older , he should know what your going through and leave you alone. Hes just jealous in a way he cannot express. As for your mother, you should ask her if she would like to go out for Coffee and see how she feels with her "hubby" disrespecting you the way he does and have a heart to heart talk. If you don't have the car at the auto mechanics to get fixed how will the car get fixed. My point is how will your prob get solved if you don't confront it. If you want to PM by all means i'm here if you want to talk. Coming from a step parents point of view, i love to see all point of views of step parenting very neat. I consider myself a blessing because i had 2 wicked step parents and i would never ever put my beautiful girls thru hell and back. They are the most respectful young girls we have been raising and if anyone called them a name i would probably be the first one to advocate for them.
Hold your tongue and wait till you can come up with something expressive to say in a nice/mannerism that puts the point across that HE will understand. Your a adult and you know what as for your mom i'm not sure but if i may say she may not want to let her baby go. my dad had a very hard time walking me down the aisle, and me moving to another city, let alone me flying out of the nest. Is there a way you can find somewhere to stay??
You were NOT in the wrong to go anywhere there was no need for any name calling i would have put him in his spot. I believe before he came you were there so he has no say in what you do. Stand up for yourself and please talk to your mom and see what you and her can work out.

 

After reading all this, I hope you will be alright. As will your mother. For fuck's sure she should have stood up for you and put him back in his dumbass place, but all this must be taking a toll on her. I would assume. I don't know the relationship between you two.

 

no parent or step, parent should ever speak to a child, even an adult child in an abusive way.
since your now of majorty, you cannot get child protecive services on his ass.
if his verbal abuse gets too bad and/or he starts physically abuse you or your mother get adult protective services and the police on his ass.
oh, also, if he is an ilegal migrant, get imigration on his ass too!

 

He's a piece of shit. You're not his slave, heck you're not even his real daughter. You don't owe him anything. It's your life to live.
I can't believe your mother didn't stick up for you.
What an ass.

 

This seems to be a syndrome with mothers lately, not taking their role as a parent but worrying about their own ass. I have to find the fault lays with the Mother, it was she who brought such a scoundrel in. She ( the mother) should have tossed this character out on his ear.

If I were you I would seek out my school councilor and see if you can get a dorm/student housing and some more funding so that you can stay in school. Stay the hell away from this dude. He is thinking sexually about you, the next step will be him making sexual advances towards you. He may even try to rape you, and tell your mother you are making sexual advances on him. It's classic, beware.

I would also urge my mother to get away from this man also. He will start abusing her in your absents. I been there with one of my X's. I always chose my kids over any man.

Not all step fathers behave this way, my husband for example is a great step dad. He never said anything ugly to any of our kids. We had 6 altogether. He would never consider hitting a woman either. But if he had, he woulda been out the door in a heartbeat.

I hope it helps ya

sh

 

Obviously, her mother doesn't feel this way.
I had an ex who's mother was like this... brought in a complete fuck-up with a criminal record, probation, and a million DUIs. Totally chose the guy over her kids.
I hate that kind of bitch.
Waah! I'll never find anyone else to love me!
Waah! My kids are gonna leave me anyway and then I'll have no one!
Waah!
Waah!
Waah!
Ugh. Some people just shouldn't have children. Period. If they get their ass pregnant, they should give it up.

 

Something I noticed (or the lack thereof)....Where's your dad?
Do you have any relatives that you trust who might help???

From your original post I gleaned the same thing as SH. This dude's only 6yrs older than you and calling you whore, etc?? That IS trouble on the way.
GET THE FUCK OUTA THERE!!!!!!

You wrote that this dude is a migrant. From what country? Did your mom marry him to keep him from being deported? Find out what his legal standing is...maybe you can get his ignorant ass deported.

Do try and talk to your mom. This dude may be a danger to her. Help her if you can but take care of yourself FIRST!!! And if this fucker ever touches you.....911!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zen

 

i agree with the earlier people nothing new to add but just to add to your support.i had enough of hearing and seeing a=holes like that a long time ago.hang in there you have alot of good people on your side.o.k.?

 

thanks guys your the best!

 

damn, I just typed a whole post and my stupid fingers sliipped and it disappeared. Freakin' laptop.

Your stepdad is a dick. I think we have that covered. Maybe he is jealous on some level. Maybe he is threatened by you. Maybe he wants to sleep with you instead of your mother??? Ehh, my dad used to beat the shit out of me, and my mother blamed me for him being an alcoholic. At least he is only your step dad. I haven't spoken to my dad in 10 years and he has recently been in and out of the hospital for some pancreas shit caused by his drinking. I hope he dies personally.

That being said. I work full time (more than 40 hours) commute 1 hour each way between home and work. I take a full course load (12 credits) maintain a 4.0 GPA, take care of a house with 4 bedrooms, 2 baths and an acre of land, and my dog, and my boyfriend. I find plenty of time to waste watching tv and screwing around online and I go out on the weekends with my friends, and take vacation. I really can't see why you absolutely cannot pick up a part-time job some place a few hours a week. Or at the very least volunteer your time. I honestly think that is bullshit! The only people I know who did not work in college (even if it was at the university they attended for 5 hours a week) were spoiled little brats who were never able to hold a job after college.

Its ok if you think I'm a bitch. I am. And I'm very opinionated. I don't really care. Good luck.

 

Stay away from there and him until he apologizes.

 

he didn't offer you any money did he?

 

*_* Teach me.

I have a workstudy job with my college, but there is no way I could support myself on it... My situation isn't exactly typical, though, so I was probably projecting that onto the OP.
Of course there are people that can do it. I didn't mean to discourage the OP from trying. By all means, do it! Just finish school. At all costs. Don't let the bastard win. That's the bottom line.

 

are you on crank? because i know when i was doing all that working/studying/wasting time, i'd take any stimulant i could.

 

How many hours a day at college do you do? And what do you do with your one day off?

Does this 'step dad' of yours also work? ... to pay rent, mortgage, bills, rates ect?

Calling you a whore is way out of whack though ... he obviously has a problem with verbal abuse. He's angry. But why is he angry?

If you were to work on your day off, or work at least a couple of evenings/afternoons/mornings ...whatever works best, i think he'd change his tune alot. He just want's to see you pay your way a little. Try and meet him halfway ... a compromise.