Hello. I'm 27 and in a loving relationship of about 2 years now. Recently he expressed to me that he would love to have a threesome (adding another women) and that he thinks it's one of the most beautiful things. I was instantly excited that he said this. I have always thought about girls (well since I was about 17) and I often look at lesbian porn or fantasize and masturbate to thoughts of women. I love men and will always be in a committed relationship with a man, but I love the idea of sex with a woman. I have no desire to be in a serious relationship with a woman, but I really really want to have sex with women. I never thought my boyfriend would be into something like this. He's very much in love with me and has expressed how he doesn't believe in cheating. I was a bit confused when he first said it because he said he'd never have sex with another women without me, but still the act would be technically (by his definition) be cheating. I have also had issues with being attracted to a male friend of mine recently. He and I get along and are attracted to each other. We flirt and talk about sex a lot (we've kissed a few times too and rub each other over our clothes, but I stopped because I couldn't follow through). I know I must sound terrible. I love my boyfriend dearly, and would never want to hurt him, but the idea of all this sex really really consumes me. I guess I'm just a bit confused (and excited to see what the future holds). Something I think about is how easy it would be to find a woman who would want to have sex with my boyfriend and me. I'm an attractive girl and he's a very attractive guy so I it's not that that worries me, it's just finding someone we're both attracted to and wants us and is bisexual. I want my boyfriend to have sex with the girl because he's only slept with two women (me being the second) and I have slept with way more men than that, so I want him to experience whatever he wants. I also think it would be an incredible turn on to see him have sex with another girl. The idea doesn't make me feel jealous at all. I want to talk to him more on this issue because I want to know exactly where he stands. It's terrible, but part of what excited me about this all was that I might get to have sex with my male friend. I really want to. Does all of this make me a terrible person or just a free liberated one who knows what she wants? Any thought, experiences, ideas would be appreciated. Just please be nice, no need to be mean.
IMHO, you are emotionally maturing to the point of realizing that loving someone does not mean owning him or her at all. Sure, everyone can agree to any form of monogamy with his or her partner if they wish to do so. There is no one there to stop you anyway. For many other people, culturally imposed monogamy is totally outdated these days. There is nothing wrong in agreeing with your BF that he can actually technically "cheat" on you. By this very same token, there is really nothing wrong with him agreeing that you may want to have sex with this other dude whom you find attractive. You know your BF better than anyone else on any boards. Agree to have some rules or agree to have no rules as both of you find fit. Stick with your decision, and enjoy your life. You are here only once. Why wouldn't you make the best out of it? Would this work for everyone? Nope. Nothing works for everyone. But this is your life, and you are in change. So, why wouldn't you call shots as you find appropriate? KD
In my experience the easiest thing is to go out and find a girl who likes you and then take her home and share her
