my sisters friend is being beaten-up - what to do

So tonight, there was this huge drama at my house. My sister's friend calls her up crying - her dad punched her cause she didn't know her schedule for tomorrow. She's running away. Coming to my house. Her mother calls - crying, freaking-out - where is her daughter? Her father is going insane - okay she's here. She comes here, and I seriously had never seen my father on the verge of tears before. He brushed her face and told her it was going to be alright.. and then my parents ran off to her parents to talk.

At that point I'm shocked, and scared of what's gonna happen there, what is my dad gonna tell her dad, are they gonna call the cops? 3 hours go by - finally they come home, settled everything, my sisters friend can stay here and she will stay here until her dad calms the fuck down - he didn't admit touching her, his wife witnessed it according to my sisters friend, but she didn't say anything, so - all my parents said was my dad yelled at him a little, tried to reason with him, but he kept saying if she was gonna kill her at school tomorrow like kick her head in or something - so my dad said okay - she's staying with us, and if it's like that, she's not going to school tomorrow cause we won't let you touch her, and when you do, we'll get the cops invlved.

Should we have called the cops tonight because of what happened to her tonight, that the parents denied? - she said she was punched several times in her chest, and shoulder, and she was shoved accroos the room and is bleeding.

 

I can tell you from experience that cops don't do a damn thing. I would only call if she wants you to, otherwise, no.

 

She may want to go home in the next few days.

Don't let her. Try to calm her down and when she can, look at her future. A future which shouldn't have her father shouldn't be a part of.

You sound like a good friend with a loving family.

 

I think you should call the cops, this is something that could obviously happen again and you should take action for your friend's sake.

 

Agreed. Call the fucking cops. Don't even ask.

 

Penny doesn't live in Hicksville.

 

Of course you call the cops, not even a question.

 

It doesn't even completely matter what the cops do. I mean of course it matters.

But Its also a message of right and wrong. And it's showing solidarity to a friend who needs your support now.

 

So you're saying that there are good cops?

It will only work if the girl wants it to. Unless you press charges as a victim the only thing they will do is talk to the other party. What does that do? It pisses them off...which means ...she'll get slapped around again.

That's why it should be up to her the victim.

 

I'm with treehugger.

penny ... you do nothing. just leave 'er be.

 

That is very true. Its up to the girl. But if she is distraught and hysterical maybe its best that the cops get involved.

I have never met any bad cops and I have done all sorts of stupid shit.

 

Of course it's her friends call how she handles this.

But telling isn't going to make it happen any worse is it's habitual. What it will do is send a message to your friend that your home is a caring refuge when things are out of control.

Leave her be is among the most retarded things I've ever heard today.

She needs friendship, not solitude.

 

What is important is that she knows she has a refuge.

I had a friend that I went to - the cops were called even when I begged them not to. They believed like you that the cops would let my mom know that I had someone I could go to. Want to know what happened? When I finally went back home my mom beat the hell out of me and dared me to call the cops or my friend's parents.

So yes be there for her....but don't get anymore involved than she wants you to.

 

call the cops or just the child services office, damn you folks are some good friends.

 

I think we can all agree on this, but simply 'not' calling the cops for any reason other than the girl's disapproval is a stupid idea. This needs to be resolved...who gives a shit about refuge when you're just going to go and get the shit kicked out of you again. Shit. (just had to make it a shit trilogy)

 

How old is this girl?

It's not a stupid idea. Have you ever been beaten by a parent? As a person that was, I know that it's better to not be noticed. Calling the cops now just puts a huge neon HIT ME sign above her head.

 

Again, hicksville. I am sympathetic with what happened to you but what you just said is full of paradoxes. In any place where cops have some sort of power then that HIT ME sign is going to land the parent in jail, in therapy...its going to get the girl some help, counseling, a social worker, help. Not everyone lacks faith in the police...as much as I hate their necessity.

I guess the main point I want to make is, what the hell can that girl do on her own other than go back and act meek and do her best to conform to the wishes of her abusive father, unless you get professionals involved?

 

Well Iam all against violence toward females so I say a bullet to the head but then I am into imediate satisfaction.

 

She has to want help is my point. You can't force anything on her. I had to go to counseling and I never said a damn thing. I didn't want their help. You can ship her off, and you can put her dad in jail, but things won't change for her unless she wants them to. Because it might not always be her dad...it could later be a boyfriend or a husband. She has to want it. I was that victim that thought it was all my fault. I thought that if I had perfect grades and never broke a rule that things would be fine. She will probably want to go back home. I know I did. The cops would have helped BUT I said no. I wasn't saying that the cops ignored me. I was saying that I didn't do anything to help them help me. So yes it is up to her.

 

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