my own work

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by ronald Macdonald, Jun 3, 2007.

  1. ronald Macdonald

    ronald Macdonald Banned

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    Ronnie tango to tower over
    come in tower do you read me
    over
    over and over and over over
    I said come in over
    i am coming over
    over over
    over you
    I got over you
    I got over you by taking off
    by soaring like a plane
    I am over you and so high
    trouble is
    I dont know how to fly
    and youre not here to talk me down
    spread my life out
    hate me
    make me drown
    thankfully but I didnt see
    not then
    no I didnt see
    it was the best thing you did
    leaving me
    but all the same
    i am too high
    too high and cannot fly
    someone help me down
    ronnie tango to tower
    I am an emergency
    i am flying but running out of fuel over
    help me get down
    over
    now I am over
    over you !
     
  2. dirtydog

    dirtydog Banned

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    Give Random House a call about this. You may be on your way to the big time.
     
  3. ronald Macdonald

    ronald Macdonald Banned

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    now show me yours DD - I bet you havent got anything even 1/2 as romantic as that poem - I bet youre all red roses and chocolates in a world thats demanding Ice water and powdered coke !
     
  4. dirtydog

    dirtydog Banned

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    I think your lines "I am too high" and "I am an emergency" are right to the point, Ronald. As for my work, I've already taken note of the fine criticisms you've offered.
     
  5. ronald Macdonald

    ronald Macdonald Banned

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    its about someone who is using class A drugs (coke) to get over a relationship that broke down but theyve gone too far and cant get down and they realise in their mind that theyve overdosed and they are dying but theyre so strung out they cant help but drift into descent and death without knowing how to land the plane properly
     
  6. smackjack

    smackjack Banned

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    cool, tres coolios
     
  7. ronald Macdonald

    ronald Macdonald Banned

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    yes I am a great writer thanks !

    and now for my next trick

    We're all off to Rostock
    We're all off to rostock
    a la la la a la la la
    come and have a full english
    come and have a full english
    a la la la a la la la
    fry yourself some bacon
    some lovely german bacon
    a la la la a la la la
     
  8. dirtydog

    dirtydog Banned

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    Sounds like Arthur Haley's classic, "Runway 8-0" about an entire flight crew getting incapacitated by food poison, leaving a multi-engine plane landing to a fellow who flew for a couple of hundred hours years earlier in a single engine aircraft. Hopefully, the next airline flight I take won't feature a pilot in the grip of a cocaine overdose. But if he does that, both copilot and navigator should be able to do an IFR landing.
     
  9. ronald Macdonald

    ronald Macdonald Banned

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    yeah man and you could make a cameo appearance and then I leap out and smack you over the bald head with a wet fish
     
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